Sakura.
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- May 1, 2024
- 237
On Wednesday, after a few days of staying locked in my room, I had to leave it again and I still suffer from what I experienced then in the form of having to confront reality of all those wonderful people... For some reason, however, I didn't decide to go grocery shopping at that time. It was a mistake. Since I already went out once every few days, I should have done it. I have a lot of things to eat in my room, so even if I don't manage to go shopping, I can manage, but I am running out of some groceries and would like to buy some more. In particular, I would like to buy some sweets, which are the only possible way for me to feel anything. A moment ago I even decided that I would force myself to go to the store this evening, but then I remembered.
It's Friday evening. I can't leave the room today.
Last week I returned to my university city on a day when I could do shopping only on Saturday evening, and going out on the city streets that day was a very difficult experience. That's why I really can't leave the room today. I can't really go out any day, but especially not on a Friday night. I don't want to run into a group of 3 beautiful girls again, friendly and laughing with each other, who went to the store just to buy cigarettes and continue partying all night long. I don't want to be confronted with such images anymore when I am the complete opposite.
I can only go out tomorrow morning, when perhaps all these wonderful people on the street will not be there yet, after they will still be resting from having fun and partying. But I don't know if even then I'll be able to leave my room for even a moment. On Monday morning I will move out of this city and leave it forever, and thus I will end my youth forever. I will spend the rest of my life locked up forever, but in another room, in a really small village where there is no one and where I won't have to constantly be confronted with how great life is and how terrible my life is...
It's Friday evening. I can't leave the room today.
Last week I returned to my university city on a day when I could do shopping only on Saturday evening, and going out on the city streets that day was a very difficult experience. That's why I really can't leave the room today. I can't really go out any day, but especially not on a Friday night. I don't want to run into a group of 3 beautiful girls again, friendly and laughing with each other, who went to the store just to buy cigarettes and continue partying all night long. I don't want to be confronted with such images anymore when I am the complete opposite.
I can only go out tomorrow morning, when perhaps all these wonderful people on the street will not be there yet, after they will still be resting from having fun and partying. But I don't know if even then I'll be able to leave my room for even a moment. On Monday morning I will move out of this city and leave it forever, and thus I will end my youth forever. I will spend the rest of my life locked up forever, but in another room, in a really small village where there is no one and where I won't have to constantly be confronted with how great life is and how terrible my life is...
