EmpressDean
Arcanist
- Apr 15, 2020
- 418
I have my life as an example of why I don't want to live anymore. I prayed to God, Jesus Christ, and Mother Mary to end my life either through a car accident very quickly, a brain aneurysm, or cancer but quickly. I'm so severely depressed with my whole life. From childhood, teens, to adult hood. I'm so depressed. I have a gun. I keep saying today, today is the day, tomorrow, next week, and I don't do it. I point it at my head above my ear and I cry remembering why I'm depressed. I have reasons. I don't know a way out. I'm done with it. And I can't follow directions never pull the trigger. I feel so cornered and stuck. I'm turning 30 on the 21s of December, and I don't have anyone. I'm always alone. It's broken be psychologically and I don't know how to get back up again. God I just want to do it. I only pray to Mother Mary to end my life and I tell her my reasons. I don't want to hurt my mom. I love her deeply. But I can't save myself anymore. So I ask to die by natural ways so I don't have to end my own life. At least that way it will be slightly easier on her. Maybe. I wish I could just muster it up and pull that trigger. I'm a huge scaredy cat and I can't even cut myself or do heights or drive to far to places. I hate it
