Venting I can’t do it to my brother

[DeathKitty]

It's a gift and a curse. Having a younger brother. We're not super close but I'd consider him my best friend in a sense. We only talk about goofy stuff, sometimes something serious but he always finds some way to make me laugh - either at him or with him.

I can't even write this without crying. I can't stand the thought of him having to loose me. Of me leaving him. Of him having to be without a sister he's had all his life. It's so cruel. So so cruel. To both of us. All I want is to die. I don't want to live, I don't want to do anything but I can't give up when I have him. I love him so dearly. I want to see him grow up, see him start a life for his own. But I also just want to die. It's an endless loop and I'm drowning in all of my emotions.

I feel like everyone else would be able to recover from me dying even if it'll probably always linger. My friends have each other, my boyfriend could move on, my parents have another kid, but he only has one sister. How could I leave him? Idk anymore. I just wish I die in some kind of accident, at least that would be better than knowing I took my own life. Easier on his soul maybe.

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

These are all good things to think about for a young person wanted to end their life. It's a very positive sign that you're stronger than you think. Lots of people that apparently love you and you love them. When you're so young, there really is lots of time for things to get better, and I hope things do for you. Your brother is lucky to have you.

 

[mars2027]

You're a great sister.

 

[DeathKitty]

These are all good things to think about for a young person wanted to end their life. It's a very positive sign that you're stronger than you think. Lots of people that apparently love you and you love them. When you're so young, there really is lots of time for things to get better, and I hope things do for you. Your brother is lucky to have you.

It's easier said than done unfortunately, getting better I mean, but I appreciate the sentiment<3

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

It's easier said than done unfortunately, getting better I mean, but I appreciate the sentiment<3

I completely understand. But don't you underestimate yourself. You are absolutely stronger than you think!

 

[suimaxxer]

my sister doesnt seem to really care about me, but im still worried my death will fuck her up

 

[auti]

I have three brothers but the youngest one I'm closest with and he will be 13 in a few weeks. I hate to do it to him.

 

[rest2love]

My older brother just died by suicide and he was the closest family member I had...