I can't deal with this anymore.

[squidman117]

first time, I tried hanging myself using a cord and doorknob. SI was too high so I ended up pussying out.
second time, I tried stepping in traffic. Too much SI. I pussied out again and called the suicide hotline.
This time, I'm sure that I want to end my life. I don't have any high places where I can tie a rope on. I can only do partial hanging and even that SI kicks in.
I'm gonna try getting sharp razor blades and slice up my arms. I promise that I won't pussy out or call anyone. I need the pain to stop.
I don't have access to SN unfortunately.
I need encouragement so I can get the peace I need .this life is agonizing. I can't deal with this anymore.
I'm ashamed that I couldn't get through it the previous two times. Need help so I succeed.

 

[Don’tfallin]

If you need to be encouraged than maybe you're not ready and sure. Sorry you're going through this.

 

[Linda]

I agree with what @babybunny13 posted. I suggest that you think hard, and decide what you REALLY want to do. Is the best option to stay in this world (despite its many imperfections), or are you sure that you really want to leave it? If you can't make your mind up, then you are not read to ctb. If you can make your mind up, I don't think you will have any real difficulty in following your choice.

 

[the old man]

I do not think you will find anyone here that will actively or willingly encourage you to take a razor blade and start hacking yourself apart, desperation and haste more often than not leads to the completely wrong choices to solving any problems, absolutely take notice of the two previous posts, take time out to think clearly and reach a decision on what direction you really want to take then make your choices.

 

[squidman117]

I do not think you will find anyone here that will actively or willingly encourage you to take a razor blade and start hacking yourself apart, desperation and haste more often than not leads to the completely wrong choices to solving any problems, absolutely take notice of the two previous posts, take time out to think clearly and reach a decision on what direction you really want to take then make your choices.

Alr, thank you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find true peace from all the suffering. I find it beyond cruel and so horrible how people cannot just have the option to die in a peaceful way and have to resort to methods like that in the first place, we really shouldn't have to struggle so much to die.