Help I can’t cope anymore ( CTB with voice call)

[glitchgirl]

I bought SN. I finally have an allocated mental health worker but I give up. I'm so alone. Everyday I'm in my bed on my laptop, or on my switch gaming. I have no life, and no one fucking cares. The mental health team is shit, ever since I got kicked out my mums house I've been thrown away like used garbage, it's like I don't exist anyone.
i have made my decision, I am going to take it when it arrives. I can't any metos other than paracetamol, which might be useless since I know how OD's feel like since I mix a shit ton of sleeping aids together all the time to try and knock w myself out. I just don't care anymore about my body, Becuase no one cares about me. But I need someone on this site to voice call with me after I have taken it because my best friend refuses to do so, so I need some of you guys to. Otherwise I'll pussy out, I know it. You just have to promise me that even if I change my mind, I must go through with it.

 

[Soulless Angel]

your words concern me, you are basically asking someone to encourage you to go through with a choice, that only you can make, this goes against the ethos of this forum.
I am sure someone will be happy to be with you in the digital world to ensure your peace and document if you wish, as many have on this forum, but please don't see it as someone to use to ensure you do go through with it.

This next path is fucking hard, I am sorry you are in such a dark place, and that you are taking this route, where in the world are you can I ask?

 

[glitchgirl]

your words concern me, you are basically asking someone to encourage you to go through with a choice, that only you can make, this goes against the ethos of this forum.
I am sure someone will be happy to be with you in the digital world to ensure your peace and document if you wish, as many have on this forum, but please don't see it as someone to use to ensure you do go through with it.

This next path is fucking hard, I am sorry you are in such a dark place, and that you are taking this route, where in the world are you can I ask?

Okay sorry I understand. But it is okay for me to do a voice/video call with someone? I don't care who I just need someone to be with me through it, since I can't say goodbye to my family and friends... and I am in the UK.

 

[TripleA]

Okay sorry I understand. But it is okay for me to do a voice/video call with someone? I don't care who I just need someone to be with me through it, since I can't say goodbye to my family and friends... and I am in the UK.

When you going to take SN?

 

[Mr2005]

One day you'll be glad you posted this

 

[glitchgirl]

When you going to take SN?

It's in transit at this moment, I will update you all when it has arrived.

 

[itachi of death]

I understand the feeling,anything you need talk or whatever,other people and i are here for you

 

[Mywill]

Sorry for what you've been through, I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[Soulless Angel]

Okay sorry I understand. But it is okay for me to do a voice/video call with someone? I don't care who I just need someone to be with me through it, since I can't say goodbye to my family and friends... and I am in the UK.

I am sure there would be offers of support, but your initial post, is concerning, no one wants to be blamed or seen as encouraging another to end their life. Many on here have supported others with support either by video, or other, they have built trust and formed a bond that allowed them to know what was expected and they moved from there
Have you connected with anyone on this forum, someone you speak to often? Maybe start there and build up, I just ask, please don't rush into anything

 

[sadworld]

Good luck friend, i hope your SN arrives soon and everything goes well. I don't know if I can deal with another person ctb while being on voice chat with them.

 

[LittleJem]

Okay sorry I understand. But it is okay for me to do a voice/video call with someone? I don't care who I just need someone to be with me through it, since I can't say goodbye to my family and friends... and I am in the UK.

If you are the UK call the Samaritans. I call them every day. They are in general amazing. They won't try and stop you, (they also won't encourage you) . I recommend you call them ASAP to talk about your plans. Just so you don't feel alone. If you decide to CTB you can call them and they will be with you even as you CTB. They are kind and to a degree do understand. Please call them, it is free of charge. In general they will just listen and it doesn't change anything, but at least you won't be alone.
Ask them about their policies around CTB and being on a call with you.

I am so sorry for all of our suffering.
In years of calling the Samaritans every day, I have only spoken to one or two who slipped through their training net and were pro life rather than respectful. If you aren't gelling with the first one you speak to you can also call back and speak to a different person.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

your words concern me, you are basically asking someone to encourage you to go through with a choice, that only you can make, this goes against the ethos of this forum.
I am sure someone will be happy to be with you in the digital world to ensure your peace and document if you wish, as many have on this forum, but please don't see it as someone to use to ensure you do go through with it.

This next path is fucking hard, I am sorry you are in such a dark place, and that you are taking this route, where in the world are you can I ask?

this x10, it's fine to want comfort but it's not fair to try to use someone else as your encouragement to die, so please be careful.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I will highly recommend NOT calling the Samaritans when you are going through with it.
They will have a legal obligation to track you down and send the Police to your location, if they feel that your life is at risk.
Also, very pro-life.
I will admit that I have had no dealings with The Samaritans myself, but I have heard a lot of stories, on here and reddit about them, and they will send the Police to your location.

 

[JustABunchOfAtoms]

If you are the UK call the Samaritans. I call them every day. They are in general amazing. They won't try and stop you, (they also won't encourage you) . I recommend you call them ASAP to talk about your plans. Just so you don't feel alone. If you decide to CTB you can call them and they will be with you even as you CTB. They are kind and to a degree do understand. Please call them, it is free of charge. In general they will just listen and it doesn't change anything, but at least you won't be alone.
Ask them about their policies around CTB and being on a call with you.

I am so sorry for all of our suffering.
In years of calling the Samaritans every day, I have only spoken to one or two who slipped through their training net and were pro life rather than respectful. If you aren't gelling with the first one you speak to you can also call back and speak to a different person.

I thought Samtarians were pro life

 

[LittleJem]

I thought Samtarians were pro life

They are respectful of the right to choose. They do have some set things they say and they are not in favour of suicide as such, but they are there to listen and even if you are literally ending your life they will just be with you so you don't have to be alone. They are really amazing.

I will highly recommend NOT calling the Samaritans when you are going through with it.
They will have a legal obligation to track you down and send the Police to your location, if they feel that your life is at risk.
Also, very pro-life.
I will admit that I have had no dealings with The Samaritans myself, but I have heard a lot of stories, on here and reddit about them, and they will send the Police to your location.

They would only do that if you tell them your location!! It's not their policy at all. They have told me I can call them if I am ending my life. I have called them 100s of times and they have never asked for my location.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

They are respectful of the right to choose. They do have some set things they say and they are not in favour of suicide as such, but they are there to listen and even if you are literally ending your life they will just be with you so you don't have to be alone. They are really amazing.


They would only do that if you tell them your location!! It's not their policy at all. They have told me I can call them if I am ending my life. I have called them 100s of times and they have never asked for my location.

I am not saying I do not believe you, I am explaining the countless stories I've heard saying otherwise.
Some of the stories I've heard, the people never gave them their location and they still tracked them down.
I was simply giving them the other side of the coin from yours, and letting them know of the risks.

 

[glitchgirl]

They are respectful of the right to choose. They do have some set things they say and they are not in favour of suicide as such, but they are there to listen and even if you are literally ending your life they will just be with you so you don't have to be alone. They are really amazing.


They would only do that if you tell them your location!! It's not their policy at all. They have told me I can call them if I am ending my life. I have called them 100s of times and they have never asked for my location.

I really appreciate your support but the mental health system here is abysmal. I don't have much trust anymore for help lines especially when I was sectioned last year against my will in a psyche unit for 2 months. It was almost as traumatic as the CSA I experienced, so I can't afford to go through that again. Sadly I don't know who to trust.

 

[emphasis]

Hey mate. I'm 18 and also from the UK. I can call with you if you don't have anyone else to, but I don't want be someone that'll pressure you to into doing anything overly harmful. I'll be here if you wanna speak

 

[LittleJem]

I really appreciate your support but the mental health system here is abysmal. I don't have much trust anymore for help lines especially when I was sectioned last year against my will in a psyche unit for 2 months. It was almost as traumatic as the CSA I experienced, so I can't afford to go through that again. Sadly I don't know who to trust.

That sounds like hell. I think that there are a lot of liars and charlatans making money off our suffering. Promising things they cannot deliver and not respecting or listening to us. I'm disgusted that happened via a helpline.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I will highly recommend NOT calling the Samaritans when you are going through with it.
They will have a legal obligation to track you down and send the Police to your location, if they feel that your life is at risk.
Also, very pro-life.
I will admit that I have had no dealings with The Samaritans myself, but I have heard a lot of stories, on here and reddit about them, and they will send the Police to your location.

nah they don't care, I once was with them having attempted, they told me to look for light at end of the tunnel, then said what will I do when I leave the hospital in the next hour, I said if I could I would walk to the viaduct and go off it, they said Ahhh no need to do that, we are here if you need us, we have to go now... then they were gone, never saw them again!