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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
Like I know they will be sad but I just do not feel anything. Am I a psychopath? I just know there will be questions and grief but honestly I do not care- maybe I do not feel It. I am just done battling this meaninglessness and maybe I am too lazy to live.
 
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Teddybear

Teddybear

Specialist
Nov 20, 2021
335
I purposefully stopped calling anybody from my "family" some time ago. I am in week 6 of my experiment now and not 1 of them has bothered to call me instead. Fact is they won't stumble for even 1 second, it I literally dropped dead on the floor.

If your family *truly* cares, then use that emotional crutch for all that its worth. And if they don't, then screw 'em all!
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
If your family *truly* cares, then use that emotional crutch for all that its worth. And if they don't, then screw 'em all!
They do care- but I do not want to use them. I could like my auntie and live on the expanse of my family like she does, she also had psychological problems- I think, I do not know really- she dropped out of college.

Sorry that your family does not call or show interests. It is always nice of them to do so, sometimes a bit annoying.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,289
It's the truth that after all grief and loss are simply an inevitable part of life, we will all die and lose everything someday, it's the most normal thing to die so the way that you feel is understandable as losing people is an inevitable consequence of bringing life here, it will have to happen someday no matter what. It's also irrational to care about how others would react to our death as we simply wouldn't be there at that point. Whatever happens in this world after we die could never be our concern and that's the reality.
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
I purposefully stopped calling anybody from my "family" some time ago. I am in week 6 of my experiment now and not 1 of them has bothered to call me instead. Fact is they won't stumble for even 1 second, it I literally dropped dead on the floor.

If your family *truly* cares, then use that emotional crutch for all that its worth. And if they don't, then screw 'em all!
Im sorry some families treat their members like strangers. No concern, love, or compassion. Like the world isn't hostile enough?
 
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Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
478
I don't have anything against my family, but we're not very close. I know they'll be sad, but the way I see it is they won't be mourning *me* they'll be mourning the concept of a son, brother, nephew, grandson, ect they have in their head. They don't know me enough to actually mourn me. They're perfectly satisfied as long as I have a pulse and I'm taking up space somewhere in the world, but I can't stay alive just to maintain that illusion for them.
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
I don't have anything against my family, but we're not very close. I know they'll be sad, but the way I see it is they won't be mourning *me* they'll be mourning the concept of a son, brother, nephew, grandson, ect they have in their head. They don't know me enough to actually mourn me. They're perfectly satisfied as long as I have a pulse and I'm taking up space somewhere in the world, but I can't stay alive just to maintain that illusion for them.
Yeah, that is true. We went far since we were little kids where they could easily understand us because they could see our every move and we trusted them fully. I do not like pretending that I will be some hot shit in this world. That I am as smart as they think I am or that I will be happy.
 
flyingtopluto

flyingtopluto

Member
Dec 2, 2022
13
I feel guilty for taking advantage of their kindness and hospitality, but that's where I draw the line I guess. I don't even know if I felt an unconditional love towards my family at all. I know that my parents are working hard to give me the best life possible and yet I don't feel much gratitude for that. Honestly, I'm all over the place.
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
I feel guilty for taking advantage of their kindness and hospitality, but that's where I draw the line I guess
Understandable.
. I don't even know if I felt an unconditional love towards my family at all. I know that my parents are working hard to give me the best life possible and yet I don't feel much gratitude for that. Honestly, I'm all over the place.
I felt this kind of love- but now I am not a kid anymore. Or maybe depression idk.
If you suffered a lot in your life you might have problem with being grateful for your parents having you, I am not. Also even tho they do the best for me like sending me to uni and such I still am not sure I am happy and It feels like they wanted It. To have a kid, for It to be smart, bring good notes- have grandkids etc. This is all biological programming, even If It is honest.
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
I don't have anything against my family, but we're not very close. I know they'll be sad, but the way I see it is they won't be mourning *me* they'll be mourning the concept of a son, brother, nephew, grandson, ect they have in their head. They don't know me enough to actually mourn me. They're perfectly satisfied as long as I have a pulse and I'm taking up space somewhere in the world, but I can't stay alive just to maintain that illusion for them.
Perhaps you should take the time and make the effort, to make, or even force them KNOW you better. Sometimes we isolate ourselves from friends and family unintentionally. Would it not be better for them to know the real you, than for you to keep their illusions of you alive? What is better? Should you die and allow them to enjoy their illusions of you? Or live and make them see the real you? Much love to you during your trials and struggles.❤️
 
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Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
478
Perhaps you should take the time and make the effort, to make, or even force them KNOW you better. Sometimes we isolate ourselves from friends and family unintentionally. Would it not be better for them to know the real you, than for you to keep their illusions of you alive? What is better? Should you die and allow them to enjoy their illusions of you? Or live and make them see the real you? Much love to you during your trials and struggles.❤️
How about you mind your own fucking business?
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,029
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋 I can see you must have so many friends...like zero, as your such a sweet little soul.😎
 
  • Hmph!
Reactions: actual_fox
actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋
I mean you asked him to do 180 degree turn in his life. You need to be careful of what you suggest
There are reason we don't know fully our family. I do not know my dad all too well, or my grandpa or grandma. Maybe we are superficial creatures. We do not have time nor patient to know somebody fully and sharing pain is painful for both
 
Mofreeko

Mofreeko

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
478
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋 I can see you must have so many friends...like zero, as your such a sweet little soul.😎
my ignore list grows by the day on here.
 
actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋
Amazing, truly you are. In an odious kind of way. Sugar this is a public forum. 😋 I can see you must have so many friends...like zero, as your such a sweet little soul.😎
wtf dude why did you get personal? First you give sweet message of hope and then you do 180 yourself. Rude
 

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