
Anxieyote
Sobriety over everything else • 31 • Midwest
- Mar 24, 2021
- 444
First one I called was the national hotline. I got through very quickly to their credit, but what happened next was awful.
I'm clearly sobbing and in full on ideation mode, and I say, "I don't know if anyone can help me." in between tears.
The guy on the other line replies, "Ok well if we can't help, call us back another time ok?" and hangs up on me.
So I put myself on a waitlist for their crisis text line. Takes about 5 minutes for someone to connect with me, and this guy was actually somewhat decent at what he was doing. I could tell he was actually trying to get to know me and my situation better through the conversation, and he handled everything very delicately and professionally. He advised me to leave the room where the SN was in and focus on things that I enjoy. It was nice.
But we all know one small text conversation can't fix our inner turmoil. So I reach out to another crisis line I stumbled upon on some random website (I think this one was for war veterans with PTSD or something? Idk but they said anyone can use it).
I was connected to someone very quickly, but their replies were very robotic and canned. I did not get the sense that they cared at all about me whatsoever, and they took 6-7 minutes between replies, which is way too long for someone who's in crisis—especially when the replies were so short and generic.
"I am sorry you are feeling this way." and "I understand that you seem to be in a lot of pain today."
It was a saddening experience. That one text convo with that guy was ok, but it's just not enough. No conversation is enough to fix a broken person and a broken life.
I'm clearly sobbing and in full on ideation mode, and I say, "I don't know if anyone can help me." in between tears.
The guy on the other line replies, "Ok well if we can't help, call us back another time ok?" and hangs up on me.
So I put myself on a waitlist for their crisis text line. Takes about 5 minutes for someone to connect with me, and this guy was actually somewhat decent at what he was doing. I could tell he was actually trying to get to know me and my situation better through the conversation, and he handled everything very delicately and professionally. He advised me to leave the room where the SN was in and focus on things that I enjoy. It was nice.
But we all know one small text conversation can't fix our inner turmoil. So I reach out to another crisis line I stumbled upon on some random website (I think this one was for war veterans with PTSD or something? Idk but they said anyone can use it).
I was connected to someone very quickly, but their replies were very robotic and canned. I did not get the sense that they cared at all about me whatsoever, and they took 6-7 minutes between replies, which is way too long for someone who's in crisis—especially when the replies were so short and generic.
"I am sorry you are feeling this way." and "I understand that you seem to be in a lot of pain today."
It was a saddening experience. That one text convo with that guy was ok, but it's just not enough. No conversation is enough to fix a broken person and a broken life.