Venting I am tortured by my thoughts

[ThePurger]

For the last few years I have been relentlessly tortured by my own mind. Every little detail of every embarrassing moment or tiny slip up I have replays in my head non stop. This creates exponentially more embarrassing moments as I've had to run out of classes because of how hellish social situations are for me. This has made me a shell of who I really am. And the worst part is that my family all think I'm doing fine. I do well in college, I go to the gym, they think I'm perfect. But my life is a misery. I've tried most ways to getting "better" but nothing has worked. I have accepted that but it hurts knowing nothing can be done. I am too far gone

 

[GlassMoon]

I can relate because those thoughts are revisiting me as well, and it often feels truly overwhelming. I automatically try to push them away when the feelings become too intense, but that does not really work, they come back. They also cause a lot of tension in me.

 

[quietpill]

Rumination is an endless hell, and the mistakes just pile up. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.