My anxiety is very high. It is quite extreme. I am extremely anxious mostly due to my OCD. Which fuels my mania. I am extremely anxious to fail in college. It is very hard to cope with. I take some addictive medication seldomly and in a low dosage. I just wished I could take it every day but I am way too anxious that I could become an addict. I think I will increase the amounts I take them in a low manner. The last time I needed them this much I could just stop taking them after the stressful events were over. I hope for that again.
I am just a mess without them. If I did not take them college would make me very manix after a short time. My other medication is just not strong enough though I take a lot anti-manic medication.
My therapists agree on my plans. We all hope I won't get addicted. My past strategies prevented me to become one. It surely is difficult and dangerous. But the alternative would be leaving college and poverty means ctb so I am forced to keep going.
I am very scared which impression I live in the mind of other people. As a teenager many made fun of my OCD. I can remember a bully took my note and made fun of me because I had some weird OCD behaviors.
I still have a lot of OCD behavior and people find me weird. I am sometimes socially very awkward. Currently I think of some incidents on which people could make fun of me. Or they perceive me as the weirdo that I am.
I have a lot OCD at college. I act like a stenographer during lectures of my professors and sometimes I see how people look weirdly at me because of it. My behavior is really extreme. I think sometimes I only was a little bit paranoid. But in other cases it was really obivous the people noticed my weird behavior. I also got such feedback in the past.
I am extremely insecure and I often ask "obvious questions" and people mock me for it. I feel so ashamed about it. But I am also so anxious about all the stuff I have OCD about. This is why I ask the questions.
It is like a rat race. I can't win. I just tell myself the people will forget about my awkwardness. I am not the center of the universe. These people all have problems themselves why should they care about me. It comforts me a little bit. But it stresses me very much. I sometimes admire people who don't give a fuck what others think. Though I also know a guy who has this stance and honestly he acts like a jerk with no manners. Maybe that is the other bad side of the extreme.
I am just a mess without them. If I did not take them college would make me very manix after a short time. My other medication is just not strong enough though I take a lot anti-manic medication.
My therapists agree on my plans. We all hope I won't get addicted. My past strategies prevented me to become one. It surely is difficult and dangerous. But the alternative would be leaving college and poverty means ctb so I am forced to keep going.
I am very scared which impression I live in the mind of other people. As a teenager many made fun of my OCD. I can remember a bully took my note and made fun of me because I had some weird OCD behaviors.
I still have a lot of OCD behavior and people find me weird. I am sometimes socially very awkward. Currently I think of some incidents on which people could make fun of me. Or they perceive me as the weirdo that I am.
I have a lot OCD at college. I act like a stenographer during lectures of my professors and sometimes I see how people look weirdly at me because of it. My behavior is really extreme. I think sometimes I only was a little bit paranoid. But in other cases it was really obivous the people noticed my weird behavior. I also got such feedback in the past.
I am extremely insecure and I often ask "obvious questions" and people mock me for it. I feel so ashamed about it. But I am also so anxious about all the stuff I have OCD about. This is why I ask the questions.
It is like a rat race. I can't win. I just tell myself the people will forget about my awkwardness. I am not the center of the universe. These people all have problems themselves why should they care about me. It comforts me a little bit. But it stresses me very much. I sometimes admire people who don't give a fuck what others think. Though I also know a guy who has this stance and honestly he acts like a jerk with no manners. Maybe that is the other bad side of the extreme.
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