Help I am scared that I might not be straight

[obei]

So even since I (19 in 2 days hehe, female) started getting into dating, I never had this connection with boys. One would say I didnt find the right one, but even the ones that were literally amazing people, when we start dating, I just dont have any desire to have sex with them (I am virgin), see them often, and all that. I didnt even like kissing them. I mean I did try but literally I didnt have any real attraction to them. I know I do have attraction to men, I wanna have a husband like my father is, and wanna have kids in the future, but as soon as I date someone its like I stop liking them at all.
Its so different with girls. I do feel like I wanna hold them, kiss them, be with them. I did share a few kisses with them, havent tried dating one, so idk if this is gonna be any different than with dating guys, but my feeling towards them is really different…
I do have a problem with my parents tho. If I tell my mother this, she is gonna say I am going with the trend and am just experimenting and she wont accept this at all. My brother is like this as well… if I get a girlfriend It will be so awkward with them.
Please tell me what you might think this is… I think I might be bi but I rly dont wanna be a part of this LGBT movement since I dont like how it is turning out, and with my Christian upbringing and all that, idk if I am gonna be judged harshly and have issues… Also have to add that my friends are supportive.

 

[Shar]

Your gay

 

[obei]

Your gay

 

[Shar]

It seems like you only date guys out of social pressure, not because you're attracted to them. You are not straight. I don't think anyone is 100% straight though

 

[LaVieEnRose]

You don't have to be part of the wider social and political LGBT movement if you don't want to. That's not required.

It sounds like things will be awkward with your family but they won't outright reject you?

God doesn't care if you're not straight.

 

[obei]

You don't have to be part of the wider social and political LGBT movement if you don't want to. That's not required.

It sounds like things will be awkward with your family but they won't outright reject you?

God doesn't care if you're not straight.

I agree. If God exists, he will love me no matter who I like.
They wont disown me for sure, well at least I think, but there will be tension and my mother will just tell me my friends or internet told me Im gay and will not believe me.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I agree. If God exists, he will love me no matter who I like.
They wont disown me for sure, well at least I think, but there will be tension and my mother will just tell me my friends or internet told me Im gay and will not believe me.

It's most.important for you yourself to be secure and have a full understanding of who you are.

 

[obei]

It's most.important for you yourself to be secure and have a full understanding of who you are.

True, I might start dating in secret…

 

[Little_Suzy]

I agree. If God exists, he will love me no matter who I like.
They wont disown me for sure, well at least I think, but there will be tension and my mother will just tell me my friends or internet told me Im gay and will not believe me.

You were born gay; your bisexuality is beautiful!

God has never declared anyone flawed on account of their capacity to love both men and women without constraint.

Not God, but the church is spreading this message!

The church promotes, among other things, pedophilia, slavery, colonialism, oppression of women and girls, tax dodging, gender pay disparity, purity, stigmatization of sexual orientation and mental illness, modern human trafficking, and extortion.

Your relationship with God is a personal one; don't blindly adhere to the church's counsel.

 

[obei]

Exactly, I really dont like going to the church, I just go sometimes to please my mother.
I do have my own beliefs tho, and in my opinion, God or whatever it is, made me this way for a reason, and I dont feel like I am doing anything bad. My mother is a church person tho. She loves going there, even wanna be a part of it, idk the English word for it, but basically ditching everything and going there to be all the time. She will not really disown me but will not believe me, or if I get a girlfriend, look at her weirdly and not accept her at all.

You were born gay; your bisexuality is beautiful!

God has never declared anyone flawed on account of their capacity to love both men and women without constraint.

Not God, but the church is spreading this message!

The church promotes, among other things, pedophilia, slavery, colonialism, oppression of women and girls, tax dodging, gender pay disparity, purity, stigmatization of sexual orientation and mental illness, modern human trafficking, and extortion.

Your relationship with God is a personal one; don't blindly adhere to the church's counsel.

 

[Nyx𓂀]

I'm bi, and also not really religious but I don't think people should ever feel ashamed for liking who they like. like it's your life and why let other people stop u from enjoying it eith the people u want.
I am also probably the straightest gay person you would ever meet and have never gone near the LGBT movement. just bc you have smth in common with them doesn't mean u have to like be with them and go to rallies or whatever they do. just live your life how u want to

 

[FujoshiNeet]

I was 19 when I realized I wasn't straight. My biggest clue was like you described, I just wasn't attracted to men. I had crushes on them in the past so it was really confusing. Then I met a girl who I fell so hard for and there is no denying those feelings.
My advice is to expand what you think a family is, and acknowledge not everyone in the LGBT community is the most negative stereotype that has been fed to you. We're diverse and are also calling the insane ones fucking insane. Many of us don't identify with being in any part of a "movement", we just exist.

You're young so the chances of your opinions on this stuff will drastically change in the next few years. I found with age I became way more open-minded.

 

[TheShadowKing]

You're definitely gay lmao but you gotta learn to not care what people think of you cause of it which includes your parents. Hopefully you're parents will love you for who you are though

 

[passivethought121]

You're gay. It is not healthy to deny the truth and suppress it hoping it'll dissapear. You don't have to tell your parents. Not the entirety of the LGBT community is annoying or bad, just the vocal minority. Also, engagement is required to be a part of a community; simply being gay is eligibility. You'd have to discuss issues, keep up with news, have social connections in the community, etc.

 

[Linda]

First of all, I would suggest that you don't attach any labels to yourself, at least not yet. Labels are unhelpful and can be very restricting. I think at some stage you need to get a girlfriend. If that "feels right" you don't need to do anything more. If it doesn't feel right, it probably won't last, and you can then get a boyfriend and see how that works out. From what you say in your post you sound lesbian to me, but you might be bi. You don't have to be a part of any movement. I have known lots of gay men throughout my adult life - and I'm 70 now -, one of my nephews is gay, and one of my husband's nieces is bi (now married to a woman). Only a few of those people were associated with anything you could call the LGBT movement.

You don't have to be part of the wider social and political LGBT movement if you don't want to. That's not required.

It sounds like things will be awkward with your family but they won't outright reject you?

God doesn't care if you're not straight.

Unfortunately, they might outright reject her. I have seen it happen, especially with religious families. Even if she thinks it is not very likely, she would be wise to have a plan to cope with that if it happens.

 

[greebo6]

You are what you are. And there is nothing wrong with that . Not ever . Because whether you are straight , gay , bi , whatever.....It doesn't matter because your sexuality has nothing at all to do with your worth and value as a person. It never will .
Be yourself and be kind to yourself.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'm not sure you can be called gay if you also feel attraction to men. But then your message was a little conflicting on that score, so I'm not certain what to think.

There's nothing inherently bad or beautiful or anything else as it pertains to sexual orientation. It just is.

I would agree with not labeling yourself and just going with the flow. See what you enjoy, experiment, have fun with it. You needn't tell your family about who you're dating. At least, not right away. Being so young, you have your whole life ahead of you to figure out who you are.

Good luck.

 

[FutureHanger]

same basically, ik for sure my attraction to women is genuine but since like around 12 years old I've had a little attraction to men, never had a crush on a guy but when I'm horny I also find men sexually appealing and when I see a handsome man i do find myself fixating on their appearance, I used to call myself sexually fluid but straight now I'm really no labels but even if society was completely accepting of all identities I'd still tell people im straight as it's just simpler than explaining the complexity of my attraction to men. I don't feel like I'm "queer enough" to label myself a member of the LGBT, even though I technically would qualify I'm still straight for the most part and I believe not many people are truly only attracted to one gender. Also my parents are Christian and extremely homophobic, when Uganda introduced the death penalty for gay people my mom celebrated it like she won the lottery and she's not even Ugandan! So my fear of coming out despite me being technically straight is still really strong, I literally get physically shook when I imagine doing it.

 

[psp3000]

go watch the film, But I'm A Cheerleader (1999)

 

[mortuarymary]

You sound bi. I'm the similar. I like men and women. Sexually women I find are more fulfilling then men.