I am scared of my ex

[greyblue_bian]

Does it makes sense to be scared of what someone who emotionally/mentally abused you will say and/or do when you're gone afterwards?
I've come clean about the abuse with proof in a digital diary along with all the other abuse I've been through in life. I'm scared they will continue to lie. They'll have all my proof taken away and I won't be able to do anything. They'll pretend nothing happened or keep saying I was the one that was at fault for everything. At this point, I think a part of me fully believes it which a part of why I'll be going in 5 days from now. I'm scared all of this will be in vain. Everything will be a waste. I'm scared of what he might say to me when I say goodbye or if he'll even respond. I'm scared of my attempt failing the most. I really just need this to work. I'm afraid they'll just keep treating me like a joke.

Please if you guys can give me some advice it would be appreciated

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's reasonable to be afraid of someone who has acted cruelly/ unpredictably towards us in the past. It seems reasonable to me to fear they might do it again. It's pathetic but, I'm still terrified of a person I grew up with.

As to the fear of what they'll say after we're dead, I think they may well try to change the narrative so it puts them in a better light but I suspect there will always be people out there that know the truth. That's what I focus on.

I guess I'm curious as to why you want to say goodbye to them.

 

[AflacDuck]

Some people have just "had enough" and the dynamic flips. Fear turns to rage and the victim mercilessly enacts retribution. I've heard stories of guys who regularly beat their girlfriends suddenly she grabs a heavy object and in a fit of rage beats his ass so bad hes scared shitless to ever tough her again.

I can't give you any "advice" but I'm sure this story will be of some value....

 

[greyblue_bian]

I think it's reasonable to be afraid of someone who has acted cruelly/ unpredictably towards us in the past. It seems reasonable to me to fear they might do it again. It's pathetic but, I'm still terrified of a person I grew up with.

As to the fear of what they'll say after we're dead, I think they may well try to change the narrative so it puts them in a better light but I suspect there will always be people out there that know the truth. That's what I focus on.

I guess I'm curious as to why you want to say goodbye to them.

Closure because I at one point really cared about them and I think I still do in a way.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Closure because I at one point really cared about them and I think I still do in a way.

I relate to this so much. Once upon a time there was a nice person in the man I loved but I see that was a mask and wasn't real.

I don't care what he says to me. I plan to print out (and send) all of the incriminating texts and emails he sent me to a family member and explain how the PTSD from the abusers behavior caused my CTB. I am already afraid of them so at least after I'm gone I will be free of that fear

 

[Reflection]

Closure because I at one point really cared about them and I think I still do in a way.

People who hurt those who love them and care about them are the worst