Ever since my last full suspension attempt I am wondering why I failed. I do a test noose knot below my adam's apple and tighten it to see if I pass out, why don't I black out? I am not bound to this world. I do not care about whatever "anatomy" my body has that prevents me. Stop trying to keep me stuck here. I am going to take more extremist action if my body fails to cooperate again. You will cooperate whether you like it or not. All I have to do is increase my strangulation and pain tolerance. Then I will be free soon. I am still too weak. I realized. All I have to do is fall in love with strangulation, then I will be able to endure it! I have to make it my obsession..... That is why from here on out
I am sorry. I feel extremely euphoric right now. I did not realize how much I would fall in love with the process of dying. Especially full suspension hanging. Not just a platonic love, but romantic. I feel emotionally tethered to it. I feel so happy right now
Ever since I failed my last full suspension hanging a couple days ago, I am having mini seizures and hallucinations. But I'd never go to the emergency room..... I love my lttle full suspension boy and if I went I'd be betraying him.
I apologize guys, in such a state of cognition it appears I will not be able to leave a goodbye note. I have no idea when and where I will attempt it again. It's best to assume that if I do not post for more than 7 days then I ended up succeeding. I wish I were mentally stable enough to leave a proper goodbye and go through with it instantly
There comes a point in mental illness that you become unable to interact with. For example, the homeless person you see on the street that you refuse to look at. Well, I am able to look and interact with those people perfectly -- but even when I do they are scared of me. I cannot blame you, if I were seeing things from your perspective I'd avoid me too. Even then, I feel as if I am living out my truth. Even if no one understands or likes it. I can finally die having lived my truth.
I am sorry. I feel extremely euphoric right now. I did not realize how much I would fall in love with the process of dying. Especially full suspension hanging. Not just a platonic love, but romantic. I feel emotionally tethered to it. I feel so happy right now
Ever since I failed my last full suspension hanging a couple days ago, I am having mini seizures and hallucinations. But I'd never go to the emergency room..... I love my lttle full suspension boy and if I went I'd be betraying him.
I apologize guys, in such a state of cognition it appears I will not be able to leave a goodbye note. I have no idea when and where I will attempt it again. It's best to assume that if I do not post for more than 7 days then I ended up succeeding. I wish I were mentally stable enough to leave a proper goodbye and go through with it instantly
There comes a point in mental illness that you become unable to interact with. For example, the homeless person you see on the street that you refuse to look at. Well, I am able to look and interact with those people perfectly -- but even when I do they are scared of me. I cannot blame you, if I were seeing things from your perspective I'd avoid me too. Even then, I feel as if I am living out my truth. Even if no one understands or likes it. I can finally die having lived my truth.
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