I am lonely

[Kentaro]

I want to live so much, but I can't take it anymore.

The humiliations become too much.

I have to kill myself if I don't want to lose my dignity.

And I have imagined such a great life.

It's all just illusions.

At the latest since I was 13 years old, my life has been irreparably destroyed.

The years after my childhood feel like a few weeks.

Ever since I can think, I have had an insatiable need for love.

Just a friend to talk to would be enough for me.

My life becomes more pitiful every day.

Tomorrow I'll put my neck on the rails.

 

[GoForDeath]

I can somewhat understand how you feel, if you want we can chat, tho I'm not sure how good of a friend I can be

 

[Dayrain]

Tomorrow I'll put my neck on the rails.

It's not a good method Kentaro.

 

[Kentaro]

I walked three miles along the local train tracks last week. Now I know how easy it is. Making emotionless decisions and a strong will have always been my strengths, so I'll definitely make it.
I could also hang myself, I can push my carotid ateries to the point of passing out. I could also wait for the SN I ordered, but the execution of a train has been my favorite for a long time because it is maximally fast and safe if you just have your neck cut off. I would love to do it hand in hand with my Lolita, but unfortunately she is not real.

I can somewhat understand how you feel, if you want we can chat, tho I'm not sure how good of a friend I can be

Sorry, I'm not good at chatting and I also think it wouldn't help my loniless, but thank you for taking time for me.

It's not a good method Kentaro.

Why do you think this? It is the best method if you do it right like I said.

 

[Dayrain]

Why do you think this?

It is just consensus that it is not reliable, "safe" as you call it.

 

[Kentaro]

I am a dirty Jew bastard who must die.

 

[Tartuffe]

Safe journey, it's a method I long considered. I stood at the tracks ready but I'm still here. My SI was too strong. SN is my method now, I find it easier to consume something and let it happen rather than me letting it happen in that instant a train is coming. Lonely as fuck too

 

[Kentaro]

Safe journey, it's a method I long considered. I stood at the tracks ready but I'm still here. My SI was too strong. SN is my method now, I find it easier to consume something and let it happen rather than me letting it happen in that instant a train is coming. Lonely as fuck too

Thank you, your answer helps against my loneliness. I wish that you find a friend or that you die so that you are no longer lonely.

 

[Tartuffe]

Thank you, your answer helps against my loneliness. I wish that you find a friend or that you die so that you are no longer lonely.

I had a family, now I'm out on my own. I was born in the early 80s. I've been depressed since I was a teenager too and got on with things. It's all gone now and I cant just carry on, I'm too old to want to start it all again.

My plan to go is next weekend.

 

[Sulyya]

So many people here understand the loneliness.

But what's this about?

I am a dirty Jew bastard who must die.

 

[Blue_mist]

So sorry to hear about what you are going through and I wish you peaceful and smooth journey, the rail decapitation or hypothermia have been always my choice of ctb. Good luck my friend

 

[Kentaro]

So many people here understand the loneliness.

But what's this about?

It's about my Jewish ancestry. My great-grandmother, who lived in East Germany, was liberated (raped) by a group of communist soldiers. I have come to a self-awareness comparable to that of Otto Weininger. Understanding Jewishness is essential in our Judeocentric times if one wants to understand the world. I recommend reading "The Wanderers Redemption" it is about the struggle of the Germanic World Spirit against the Jewish World Spirit. I am also pleased by your answer, thank you.

So sorry to hear about what you are going through and I wish you peaceful and smooth journey, the rail decapitation or hypothermia have been always my choice of ctb. Good luck my friend

Thank you too, did you have explicite plans with the hypothermia? I don't live in the right climate for this and also there are too many people where I live to do this, but I had also favored it for a while. I would have traveled to Scandinavia for that and gotten really drunk there before freezing to death in the wilderness. But that would be ridiculously inconvenient.

I had a family, now I'm out on my own. I was born in the early 80s. I've been depressed since I was a teenager too and got on with things. It's all gone now and I cant just carry on, I'm too old to want to start it all again.

My plan to go is next weekend.

Did you have children? If so, that would be awesome. Fathering children is perhaps my greatest wish. If you do it next weekend, then it's nice. What way do you choose to die?

 

[Tartuffe]

Did you have children? If so, that would be awesome. Fathering children is perhaps my greatest wish. If you do it next weekend, then it's nice. What way do you choose to die?

I cant go I to things to be honest, but my method is SN

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing certainly can be painful so I hope that you find peace from all the suffering.

 

[SSGoingInsane]

the train is a pretty reliable method as long as you position yourself properly and if you manage to beat the survival instinct...

 

[leavingsoon99]

I relate to your words so much. I wish you peace, whatever you decide to do. My life has been lived in illusions interrupted by reality as well. Peace to you.

 

[user39]

i wish our suffering converted to strength :(

 

[Kentaro]

I am waiting for darkness to fall.

 

[Tartuffe]

I am waiting for darkness to fall.

What country are you in? Guessing you're planning to do today

 

[DragonWingsOnFire]

Which you luck on succes with it, ig you have been bless with the will to kill yourself. Something i would be jealous of.

 

[Kentaro]

Can't do it. I feel like a paralyzed animal

 

[SSGoingInsane]

Can't do it. I feel like a paralyzed animal

Survival instinct?

 

[SadVegan]

Survival instinct?

What else could possibly be?

 

[downndone2]

I am so lonely and miserable. Worried about who will take care of my dogs. Once I feel that's sorted, hopefully I'll find a way. I thought getting a job would help but I haven't started yet and feel paralyzed to even get there

 

[Kentaro]

Goodbye post number 2
Today I am very depressed. Actually, I would lie in my bed all day doing nothing and not get bored. When I am in such a state I have almost no brain function so I am almost an idiot. That's why I can't write a long text this time again. Other people online have also reported this phenomenon.

I have prepared everything to hang myself. I tested how fast it gets black before my eyes when I pull the rope around my neck without a knot; it was less than ten seconds but a little slower than with my fingers. I will do it late tonight.

 

[Kentaro]

I certainly cannot concentrate now on hanging myself because I m a littel drunk but its okay Ill do it tomorrow and the mods should just delete my account because I m spamming and this message is only intended for the moderators. It was a good decision to make my posts approved by a moderator before public for everyone. Dont let them be irritated by this message dont approve it please delete my account also. I like this site a lot but I can kill myself without another last note. thank you