As proof, nobody will respond to my threads as usual.
Every time on every occasion irl or online nobody ever cares enough to respond, or they ghost me quick.
I never had a single relationship no matter whether its friends or anything with anybody or talked to anyone, sometimes i didn't leave my house for a year. I didn't talk to anyone in my family for 10 years unless i had to even though i live with them, they aren't even human to me. Thus i was never part of society at all.
I have 3 days to die, i have to die on my birthday since I ran out of time and can't get more narcotic drugs they like to sell at the pharmacy and I'm broke.
Ate so many pills my stomach broke so maybe it will do me in with sepsis and broken appendix or i'll just kill myself from the pain. Good motivator!
I should be glad things are ending but my monkey brain will never stop looking for delusions and way to escape obvliion. I'm so traumatized from dealing with innumerable illnesses and problems and people that i'm afraid to even think about my life or move. But what needs to be done needs to be done.
I guess I don't empathize with other people here either cause concepts such as work, friends, chores, etc. are completely alien to me, so our lives were never similar in 1%. I'll just jump in front of a train or lie on the train tracks I don't know how but i'll force myself to do it no matter what even if i have to crawl there. And that is the end of the story.
Thanks for not reading that.
Every time on every occasion irl or online nobody ever cares enough to respond, or they ghost me quick.
I never had a single relationship no matter whether its friends or anything with anybody or talked to anyone, sometimes i didn't leave my house for a year. I didn't talk to anyone in my family for 10 years unless i had to even though i live with them, they aren't even human to me. Thus i was never part of society at all.
I have 3 days to die, i have to die on my birthday since I ran out of time and can't get more narcotic drugs they like to sell at the pharmacy and I'm broke.
Ate so many pills my stomach broke so maybe it will do me in with sepsis and broken appendix or i'll just kill myself from the pain. Good motivator!
I should be glad things are ending but my monkey brain will never stop looking for delusions and way to escape obvliion. I'm so traumatized from dealing with innumerable illnesses and problems and people that i'm afraid to even think about my life or move. But what needs to be done needs to be done.
I guess I don't empathize with other people here either cause concepts such as work, friends, chores, etc. are completely alien to me, so our lives were never similar in 1%. I'll just jump in front of a train or lie on the train tracks I don't know how but i'll force myself to do it no matter what even if i have to crawl there. And that is the end of the story.
Thanks for not reading that.
