I am going to start cutting agaian

[AJAX]

I have been clean for a few months but these last weeks have been awful. I am bipolar and i think that i might be going through a episode. I don't know what to do, i feel awful i want to just disconnect from everything. I haven't been self harming but i think that the only way i can get a hold of what i am feeling.I hate my life i hate my ex i hate my fucking friends, i hope i never replied to my fucking ex. Why doesnt he love me anymore, wwhy am i so unlovable

 

[wondering&wandering]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry and sad to hear you going through these painful feelings. There are definitely times where it's hard to know what to do when it feels like nothing is going right, or even worse when everything is going wrong.

I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you don't want to sh, but rather see no other way to cope. I'm not sure what exactly your sh is, but given that it's cutting there may be alternatives you can do, such as eating sour or spicy foods, using covered ice packs against your skin for some time, or punching pillows. I'm sure there are other ways (and I thought I saw better responses on here somewhere, but I can't seem to find it to link it, sorry).

Additionally, if you need someone to vent/talk to you're welcome to PM me. I'm sure you're lovely. Regardless, I wish you peace!

 

[apearl]

Im sorry you are feeling so bad right now.

Im proud of you for being clean for a few months, I know how hard it can be to stay clean during hard times. I hope that you can find a different way to cope besides cutting. Stay safe. :)

 

[SVEN]

I'm sorry, Ajax, best wishes.

 

[disheartened_lover]

my sincerest apologies. I am also going through this after being clean for a couple years

 

[snak3atereve]

Im sorry the horrible feelings are coming back, i can also relate and yea it sucks, if you're really averse to cutting and want to avoid it, i have heard some success with using rubber bands instead?

Either way I hope things work out for the better, or become slightly more bearable, good luck and I wish you the best

 

[Meowsies]

I feel you. I am thinking of cutting myself again, but I might start a new job and i dont think that would make a good impression...

 

[LunarLight]

To be fair, I'm not sure I will have enough to say to write it all down in a suicide note.

 

[Jeebo5021]

I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I'm tempted to cut as well, though I already regret the scars I already have. I totally understand the release that you want to feel.

 

[Demian]

Im sorry you are feeling so bad right now Ajax.

When I thought about suicide for real, one of the first things I did was cut myself, but then I stopped for fear of people seeing. But it feels good at the time.

 

[skyflame]

I feel you, Ajax. In the past when I've felt like this, I restrict how many cuts/how often I can do it. Don't let it get out of control. Again this is my personal experience, it may not be a good idea for you.