Help I am genuinely convinced that I'm a bad person

[Moroze]

It makes me feel like a horrible person knowing I struggle to show empathy to others. I can only empathise with my friend and my mum, no one else. I used to be very empathetic when I was a kid, but as I got older, my ability to empathise with people diminished. Is this common? Can anyone relate to this?

 

[derpyderpins]

It certainly happens. The kindest child can become like stone, especially as a defense mechanism. Empathy means we connect, and connections - while great oftentimes - mean we might get hurt. It's good that you still empathize with two people!

Struggling with empathy - especially when you recognize the problem and seemingly wish to improve! - does not make you a bad person. That bar is far, far lower. Be good to those two for now, and you're still one person being good to two people. If my math is right that's pretty okay. Just try not to actively hurt others.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I think it's a conscious choice of how you want to treat and see people- some people study and practice something called "unconditional love". In addition to that, it's good to learn how to fill your own cup first, so you can share it with others- perhaps add a little sugar in it...

 

[untothedepths]

i have the exact opposite - i feel way too much, about everything. every single emotion is amplified by 10x it seems like and i cannot get a break. i cry everyday. its exhausting. i do have moments where i am to feel more stable, but it takes the smallest problem to just send me crying, sh, and feeling empty inside.

 

[derpyderpins]

i have the exact opposite - i feel way too much, about everything. every single emotion is amplified by 10x it seems like and i cannot get a break. i cry everyday. its exhausting. i do have moments where i am to feel more stable, but it takes the smallest problem to just send me crying, sh, and feeling empty inside.

That sounds very tough. It's the other side of the coin, I suppose, trying desperately to fill the need for connection rather than writing it off. If you ever want to vent and be heard my DMs are open, though I can't always respond right away.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

It's not empathy that makes you a good or bad person. It's your actions. Loads of terrible people have empathy. The absolute bulk of terrible people have some degree of empathy. It's a spectrum. Doing good without having to rely on empathy to tell you what's good, is admirable.

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Lack of empathy is typically a sign of Cluster B personality disorders, which occur in adults due to their experiences as children. Might be worth getting screened for those if you have any other symptoms associated with them. Some are treatable with therapy and others are not.

 

[nux_walpurgis]

I relate. I too have lost my empathy except for some very few special people. But i also have done many other things that are unethical and evil and not a soul knows about. I don't recognise myself at times.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Don't be too hard to yourself. Our life usually happens around our closest circle of people. You're not a bad person at all. It always depends on the POV you have. Again, don't be too hard to yourself.

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

I stopped caring about these labels of good and bad. Most of the time it makes no sense if you really think about it. I was almost never shown emphaty and still tried so many times. Am I good for that? Am I dumb for that? Who cares, its all bullshit.