I am fifty and don't want to continue my life

[Initiated]

Can someone explain to me how to create a post on this website? I am totally new to this website.

 

[Amumu]

May even complicate problems too. Your future partner should not have to be your caretaker as well. That gets mentally draining.

I'll take the risk if I have the opportunity. I'm a gambler lmao.

Can someone explain to me how to create a post on this website? I am totally new to this website.

A thread you mean? You need to post a certain amount of messages before.

 

[Canon1]

Sorry but this is just character-weak. Try to find peace in yourself without attaching to someone who will probably dump you like I have seen it so many times.

 

[Initiated]

I'll take the risk if I have the opportunity. I'm a gambler lmao.

A thread you mean? You need to post a certain amount of posts before.

So commenting anywhere is a post here. Can you please tell me how many posts do I need to create to be able to create a thread?

 

[Amumu]

Sorry but this is just character-weak. Try to find peace in yourself without attaching to someone who will probably dump you like I have seen it so many times.

The thing is, I wouldn't be on SS if I could find peace in myself pal
I have no idea what character-weak means.

So commenting anywhere is a post here. Can you please tell me how many posts do I need to create to be able to create a thread?

I'd say 10 maybe? Ask a mod.

 

[Initiated]

The thing is, I wouldn't be on SS if I could find peace in myself pal

I'd say 10 maybe? Ask a mod.

I have already. Waiting for their response. Thank you Amumu.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Please understand that for some of us we're so miserable while being single that we imagine a romantic relationship could save us.
If I were 100% sure that I wouldn't be happier with a romantic partner I would have jumped out of the window long long ago.

Its a misconception that once you have a partner your problems are gone. What if she or he dumpes you?

It's a misconception, but that's what keeps us going. Sometimes we need hope.
Is they dump me I probably wait and then ctb. If I'm strong enough, I don't.

May even complicate problems too. Your future partner should not have to be your caretaker as well. That gets mentally draining.

This dialogue is ringing so true for me. I had planned to kill myself in July 2016. I had a plan in place. (It was before I had discovered SS, so that plan probably would have failed, but nonetheless, it was a plan.) A big part of that was the self-realization that I was destined to a loneliness that I couldn't handle. In January 2016 I met someone who would become my husband two and a half years later. He literally saved my life... but only temporarily. He made me believe that there was hope for me. Since then I've discovered that there's really not. I'm the same depressed person with the same issues. All that I've done now is dragged someone else into my mess.

 

[Symbiote]

There's a mantra that I followed for months...."The longer I prolong my existence, the more suffering that my loved ones will endure".

I'm going to disappear, start a new life somewhere, and live isolated from people so I don't have to hurt anyone anymore. I'll make friends with strangers and so on, but never get close to anyone again.

 

[Canon1]

There's a mantra that I followed for months...."The longer I prolong my existence, the more suffering that my loved ones will endure".

I'm going to disappear, start a new life somewhere, and live isolated from people so I don't have to hurt anyone anymore. I'll make friends with strangers and so on, but never get close to anyone again.

Best thing one can do. Live in peace. No need for friends or others. I will do the same

 

[Idledays]

This dialogue is ringing so true for me. I had planned to kill myself in July 2016. I had a plan in place. (It was before I had discovered SS, so that plan probably would have failed, but nonetheless, it was a plan.) A big part of that was the self-realization that I was destined to a loneliness that I couldn't handle. In January 2016 I met someone who would become my husband two and a half years later. He literally saved my life... but only temporarily. He made me believe that there was hope for me. Since then I've discovered that there's really not. I'm the same depressed person with the same issues. All that I've done now is dragged someone else into my mess.

Sorry to hear that. Out of curiosity, do you think finding love, even temporarily, was worth at least delaying your suicide for?
Wondering how true one of the worst sayings ever is... The one that starts better to have loved and lost.... (can't even bring myself to finish it haha)

But seriously, are you grateful for that period of time you did have? Or do you regret not continuing with your original plan?

Im really sorry it didn't end how you wanted it to. X

 

[Symbiote]

Best thing one can do. Live in peace. No need for friends or others. I will do the same

Until I find like-minded persons such as yourself that I want to connect with and the cycle begins anew lol

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Sorry to hear that. Out of curiosity, do you think finding love, even temporarily, was worth at least delaying your suicide for?
Wondering how true one of the worst sayings ever is... The one that starts better to have loved and lost.... (can't even bring myself to finish it haha)

But seriously, are you grateful for that period of time you did have? Or do you regret not continuing with your original plan?

Im really sorry it didn't end how you wanted it to. X

That's a really good question. I don't know if I have a good answer to it yet. I'm still trying to figure it out. I had some of the best memories of my life in that time span. I felt like I made a genuine human connection with someone. I felt like I could have the life I had always dreamed of. I've also had some of the worst memories of my life and I've experienced the pain of falling from a high place. I don't know if it's better to have felt temporary joy while living in hope or if it would have been better to avoid the inevitable fall, which hurt more than it would have ever hurt before.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I get it. No love or money (or hope of either) then what's the point?

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

I always feel like such a jerk because I'm the same way sometimes. Luckily all of those things aren't the only things in life that matter or to accomplish but....feeling stuck and watching others go forward is so rough.

yeah, i completely agree. i feel like i died back when my depression took over and life just kept going with everyone else. I'm just a sad lil ghost observing others go forward.

 

[Sakura94]

Im 29, klinefelters/transwoman, so yeah pretty much.
Does experiencing love make you feel like you've lived more? It's something stressed in all our media, books, movies, ect.

 

[regular john]

I understand what you're saying, but I'd like to propose something else to you. It seems as if your definition of what "life" is relates to societal norms regarding what constitutes a meaningful life. Your life can have meaning even if you haven't had sex, or a relationship, or children. May I ask, what are some things in your 50 years that brought you joy or brought you meaning? Even if they aren't things the world-at-large generally prizes, they can still be important.

I never wanted to live cause I was born genetically different when compared to other people. I hate to be different. I hate how my body operates. I want to free myself from myself.