
Lost Magic
Illuminated
- May 5, 2020
- 3,200
The more I sleep, the more I don't want to wake up. But the body (while alive) can't sleep forever. I want to sleep forever and not wake up and I have N, now, so there is no excuse not too. I have been postponing my last affairs. However, I now realise that it is now or never. Once that is over then: organising, getting rid of stuff and cleaning there is not much left to do. After all the emotional pain of screaming and crying over the weeks a lot of those feelings have now turned to numbness. My mind must be settling into the truth and nothing really matters anymore. This is all a dream within a dream. It feels silly, to me, to just live to kill time. No point in getting older and more frustrated when I can just go to sleep and never wake up again. At least, that's how I feel about it.