Venting I am and always will be poison

[Treku]

I completely destroy every relationship I have ever gotten close to. literally every friend I have made in the past fucking hates me. people only like the idea of me but when they actually know me and find out what I'm actually like then they just can't deal with me and leave. I don't blame them tho. I wouldn't want to around me either. I have a boyfriend and he hates me so much but doesn't want to leave bc he thinks I'm gonna ctb lol.
probably for the best. I'm not even really hiding it anymore. why make them wait to hate me when they can just find out at the beginning. makes it so I 'hurt' less people when I ctb ig. not like anyone's gonna care when i do it tho.

 

[wildflowers1996]

:(
why do you believe they hate you?

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I have always self-sabotaged due to mental illness, and people end up leaving me or hating me.
Do they really hate you that much ?
Is it because of mental illnesses ?

 

[Treku]

:(
why do you believe they hate you?

it's like they always do whatever they can to avoide me and always ignore me when i talk to them. and oh yeah they fucking say it.

I have always self-sabotaged due to mental illness, and people end up leaving me or hating me.
Do they really hate you that much ?
Is it because of mental illnesses ?

yeah i do that constantly but yes and yes