I am a beta male

[Tintypographer]

I read today in some postings the thought that suicide is cowardly and only beta males would take their own life because they are not man enough to face their fears.

When I read this type of thing my brain goes to the far reaches of the spaces where I begin to connect dots into wild conspiracy theories.

For a long time I've believed that bullies were becoming marginalized. That the quiet introverts were not defeating but simply marginalizing their thoughts and abilities. They had lost their capability of being relevant because it was simply no longer acceptable to behave in certain ways. As a child of the 80s, "gay", "homo", "fag" we're the worst labels one could have and in schools bullies ruled. You were tough and the tough mean guys were successful. Move forward 20 years and wealth and power came to the technocracy and media empires and suddenly it was no longer acceptable to be a bully, to use homophobic or racial slurs or to treat others cruelly.

Then I noticed a change in the world. It was as though that marginalized group found a cause and a savior. America needs to be brought back from weakness. We needed to have bullies and project power.

As I see it cascade across parts of life and assault any form of compassion I realize that I am what they now call a beta male.

I dislike violence, I participate in no social.media, I dislike sports and confrontation. I don't care about patriotism. I dislike heroes. Fidelity and cheating aside, I believe people shouldn't care about who has sex with whom and immigrants should be free to come in and work. In fact if some kid comes across the border and gets an engineering job I applied for I assume his coding and math skills must be better than mine so I had better work harder.

But I also realize that one piece of marginalizing power I have over the alphas is that I can take my own life. I think the biggest concern for bullies and alpha's is that if all the non alphas decided to kill themselves in a fit of non-conflict, they would have nothing but their own bleak existence to boast aloud without any subjects to fawn over their masculinity.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Sometimes the loud, obnoxious, and pushier among us get their just deserts in the form of a very violent reprisal. There's a certain satisfaction to such incidents, which I will continue to take no matter how many people cry foul. Quiet does not = harmless, and quiet does not = infinite patience.

 

[Doombox]

It could be argued that committing suicide entails facing a great deal of fear, perhaps the greatest fear of all, that of death.

 

[DynamicDepression]

I'm sorry you feel this way and have had to go through all of that.

I wish suicide was cowardly, but it's not. It's the hardest thing a person can do. It goes against all natural instincts and social acceptance.

I want to get one thing clear though: The whole alpha and beta male schtick is a bunch of pseudoscience that even the original researchers denounce. I know it's easier said than done, but you shouldn't feel bad because some assholes think you are "beta". In fact, the overwhelming majority of people who use such terms are bigots whose only joy is hurting others by hurling derogatory labels at them. It's really no different than the labels you mentioned in your post.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Well, here in the US, we don't have a bully in office, right now, thank our lucky stars. I really hate labels, and I never really thought of being either alpha male or beta male. I more than dislike war and conflict. I don't do social media, either. I'm not into too many sports, certainly not football. I watch a lot of golf and tennis. I don't care who has sex with whom, although in some cases I don't want to see it under any circumstances, I must say. I don't care about patriotism, either. I guess by those characteristics, I'm a beta male, at least in how I'm living. I suspect there are plenty of alpha males who have taken their own life. I, also, suspect, that there will be a higher rate of suicide in the coming years and decades as compared to many decades ago. I think that, generally, guys are becoming "softer" (I think it's a conspiracy perpetrated by women LOL), and maybe that is what is fueling a seemingly higher suicide rate amongst the men of today. Personally, I think it takes a lot of courageousness and, frankly, balls, to overcome the SI and, actually, carry out the deed of taking one's own life.

 

[Pluto]

The implication of this alpha/beta terminology is that right-wing men displaying toxic masculinity, social dominance orientation, etc. are 'above' or 'better than' the rest of us, yes?

How is this pyramid hierarchy defined exactly? The world's richest man makes vegan cars. The most popular bodybuilder of the past century battles climate change. Androgynous musicians like Prince have often been some of the most attractive to women.

Personally, I like to think that the paleolithic pickup-truck bro trend will pass and some other fashion style will be in vogue for those too afraid to be themselves.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I am definitely a beta male in the sense that I've always had trouble standing up for myself and setting clear boundaries. I wish this were not the case but unfortunately it is.

 

[vinterland8]

I want to get one thing clear though: The whole alpha and beta male schtick is a bunch of pseudoscience that even the original researchers denounce. I know it's easier said than done, but you shouldn't feel bad because some assholes think you are "beta". In fact, the overwhelming majority of people who use such terms are bigots whose only joy is hurting others by hurling derogatory labels at them. It's really no different than the labels you mentioned in your post.

Who are these "original researchers" that have "denounced" the concepts of "alpha" and "beta?" Alpha primates almost always bully (assert dominance over) beta primates, and reproduce at higher rates. This is most radically prominent in agressive primates, which in turn benefits the group. With humans, linguistic advancement (thanks to selected intelligence) greatly nullifies alpha-dominance. — because "beta" humans are able to cooperatively hold "alphas" accountable, but there are still "alpha" (those who are best adapted to survive and reproduce) humans. I agree that the Rollo Tomassi "alpha male™" types are obnoxious, but natural selection is not bigoted pseudoscience.

 

[houseofleaves]

The whole alpha and beta male schtick is a bunch of pseudoscience that even the original researchers denounce. I know it's easier said than done, but you shouldn't feel bad because some assholes think you are "beta". In fact, the overwhelming majority of people who use such terms are bigots whose only joy is hurting others by hurling derogatory labels at them. It's really no different than the labels you mentioned in your post.

++++++

 

[needforvoid_]

In my school, some bullies became "losers" and some "successful", same for the bullied.

 

[greyhound]

Honestly your psyche is really confused. You seem to both hate and glorify the so-called 'Alpha males'. We need to return to a society where bullying is more prevalent?

Basically every person needs a way to feel superior to others. Physically strong, symmetrical and healthy people label themselves as 'alpha' and are therefore a the top of their hiearchy.

Rich people will define the heirarchy based on wealth. Ivy league grads on education. Athletes on physical strength. People tend to seek mates that exhibit the same qualities. Just figure out what you are better at then average at and find your birds and flock together.

 

[Darth Ruin]

immigrants should be free to come in and work. In fact if some kid comes across the border and gets an engineering job I applied for I assume his coding and math skills must be better than mine so I had better work harder.

The corporations that hire them only care that the immigrants accept less pay than you would for the same job. Those who hire the immigrants are doing no charity, just selfishly protecting their assets and furthermore they profit off of the perception that more diversity in their personnel means that they appear more just and good, when it is more likely that these workers have to deny just as much if not more of their self and culture to even be able to fit into the uncaring system of the work.

Reality doesn't care about our ideals, irregardless of how good our intentions are. This makes me immensely sad, too. We could have a just world without what you call Alpha behavior. But the ego of each and every human is too strong. So in the end this ideal is pointless as it has no applicability to the real world. It only serves to make me despise myself for every instance that I let my ego get into control just for a little while, when that is necessary to want to stay alive.

 

[Tintypographer]

I was being sarcastic in my glorifying of the alpha idea or concept. I don't know about the psychology of alpha beta as classifications but I do know my observations of bullies and i hate their behavior. I don't want to be one. With regard to immigrants and companies, I did a lot of work in analytics for a while in the area of cost reductions and profit at a big company and I don't actually think any company wants to pay their employees. There is a lot of lip service but enormous industries exist around justifying the lowest cost per hour of work and it's just a fact.

I personally feel it's not bullying or related to that when immigration concerns crop up; it's fear of a person's income being marginalized. In reality with massive populations there is no way for work to not be a commodity which means it has a lowest cost basis. Nothing; not legislation, fear of immigrants, posturing or being strong will keep price competition from decreasing the value of your work if someone is legitimately willing to do it for less.

But that's just my opinion and a harsh reality. That oddly enough doesn't make me depressed. I get depressed about the feeling and perception that the "tough guy" macho bravado seems to be the defining apex class in my society. I have no desire to be that. I don't want to "lead" or to "sell" or to "be my own brand" or to "win at all costs". I hate that mindset and I hate that I feel like when I question things like my own companies products "what if we aren't really the best?" It is seen as both weakness and not being a team player.

 

[depressedexwriter]

Dude, being in the 'cost reduction analytics' is so much worse than bullying in my view. Bullies make you feel bad about yourself. Your work seems to be helping corporations create a philosophical / actionable framework for continually screwing their employees out of money. "Poverty is inevitable!" you say, "Because there's people who would live 6 to a room and work 70 hours a week and you need to compete with them!"

So you help these sociopathic entities make life worse for us all, on the grounds that it's 'just business.' Even if your work didn't directly help them accomplish this aim, your worldview definitely serves such a purpose.

FWIW I don't think bullies / alphas are necessarily as admired as you perceive them to be. As Pluto said: androgynous short pop stars get lots of women, the world's richest man is a Highly Online guy who makes electric cars for liberals. It sounds like you're just doing some Texas Sharpshooter fallacy and thinking that people you don't like are successful; therefore it must be because of the reasons you dislike them.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I read today in some postings the thought that suicide is cowardly and only beta males would take their own life because they are not man enough to face their fears.

When I read this type of thing my brain goes to the far reaches of the spaces where I begin to connect dots into wild conspiracy theories.

For a long time I've believed that bullies were becoming marginalized. That the quiet introverts were not defeating but simply marginalizing their thoughts and abilities. They had lost their capability of being relevant because it was simply no longer acceptable to behave in certain ways. As a child of the 80s, "gay", "homo", "fag" we're the worst labels one could have and in schools bullies ruled. You were tough and the tough mean guys were successful. Move forward 20 years and wealth and power came to the technocracy and media empires and suddenly it was no longer acceptable to be a bully, to use homophobic or racial slurs or to treat others cruelly.

Then I noticed a change in the world. It was as though that marginalized group found a cause and a savior. America needs to be brought back from weakness. We needed to have bullies and project power.

As I see it cascade across parts of life and assault any form of compassion I realize that I am what they now call a beta male.

I dislike violence, I participate in no social.media, I dislike sports and confrontation. I don't care about patriotism. I dislike heroes. Fidelity and cheating aside, I believe people shouldn't care about who has sex with whom and immigrants should be free to come in and work. In fact if some kid comes across the border and gets an engineering job I applied for I assume his coding and math skills must be better than mine so I had better work harder.

But I also realize that one piece of marginalizing power I have over the alphas is that I can take my own life. I think the biggest concern for bullies and alpha's is that if all the non alphas decided to kill themselves in a fit of non-conflict, they would have nothing but their own bleak existence to boast aloud without any subjects to fawn over their masculinity.

When alphas lose everything, it hits them hard, because that was their entire identity, whereas betas expect thing to be shit!

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Makes me sad people still buy into the alpha/beta nonsense. Just another excuse to hate yourself and avoid thinking critically about the world.

 

[Tintypographer]

Dude, being in the 'cost reduction analytics' is so much worse than bullying in my view. Bullies make you feel bad about yourself. Your work seems to be helping corporations create a philosophical / actionable framework for continually screwing their employees out of money. "Poverty is inevitable!" you say, "Because there's people who would live 6 to a room and work 70 hours a week and you need to compete with them!"

So you help these sociopathic entities make life worse for us all, on the grounds that it's 'just business.' Even if your work didn't directly help them accomplish this aim, your worldview definitely serves such a purpose.

FWIW I don't think bullies / alphas are necessarily as admired as you perceive them to be. As Pluto said: androgynous short pop stars get lots of women, the world's richest man is a Highly Online guy who makes electric cars for liberals. It sounds like you're just doing some Texas Sharpshooter fallacy and thinking that people you don't like are successful; therefore it must be because of the reasons you dislike them.

I don't like or dislike the bullies. I just gave in to them. I calculate analytics in many different things including human capital metrics. Whether anyone likes it or not, the proficiency of a human can always be calculated and set as a metric and that is what your valuation is. In a company a crude metric can be the total cost of all employees divided by the fully loaded cost. Take that and take the average revenue per employee and subtract that average cost. If it equals less than the owner can make by percentage than index funds then a decision can be made as to whether the company is even valuable. There is a lot more to it than that. I do have a very very bleak world view which is why I spend so much time on sanctioned suicide, have been close to attempting several times and have severe suicidal depression.

But it's not alphas I'm upset about nor is that theory necessarily correct. Just as I posted at the top, it's something I noticed and thought about. Not something that is necessarily correct.

And I very very rarely make recommendations about anlytics. I simply provide the framework to make the calculations easier for leaders to see.

An interesting thing I learned when working on a promotion and compensation analysis at a mega firm. We receive pay comp data from companies like ADP and paychex who provide services to thousands of companies. What the entire industry does is to have massive teams dedicated to "leveling" market pay. It's not simply Glassdoor or pay websites that define salary. Ever wonder how raises or how a request for raise is reviewed? It is partly your value obviously but the HR industry has enormous teams dedicated to measuring comp bands with analytics in an instant to determine if a raise is allowed and or within those bands. Market rates for humans are absolutely a part of all hiring decisions at any firm with a sufficient enough employee base. Spans of control as a metric of the number of employees per manager in an org exist in order to ensure that there are not ever too many managers with too few employees.

I begrudge no one success. Im thrilled to see success. But I'm also a severe statistician and mathematician. Take the number of open executive roles in any corporate entity in a given year and divide that by the number of non executives with greater than 15 years of experience. The number in your company if you work for a larger firm will shock you. Then go back through the announcements of people promoted to senior management in reorganizations. Notice there are very rarely new surprising moves up. The system is self-leveling because there aren't enough roles. I always say that I never get upset with executives when I see them negotiate for mega million salaries. That is successful negotiation. If you want to be upset, be upset with the board of directors who agrees to the mega salary.

But for myself, I hate having to compete, I hate having to "promote yourself"-dan schawbel, or "get more" -stewart diamond or "be my own brand" -david McNally or any of the other books on the shelf next to me about rising to success. I don't hate the alphas or whatever characteristic there is for people who want to "sell to win" or "position" (more books) and not being a psychologist or social scientist the characterization is most likely wrong, I just wish that I didn't live in a suburban mcmansion-filled group of people constantly fighting to out achieve each other chasing after mega success or lamenting that they wish they could be more successful. I don't think they're wrong. I just don't enjoy it at all, I want to die each day, I spent many years in college getting several degrees and 90 percent of the world I do and what most people want me to do most of all is either risk reduction or cost cutting to help save the bottom line.

And I do work for altruistic groups, donating my services and skills to others outside of any compensation but in many cases even there, the work is on cust cutting and reducing expenses and helping the bottom line. One charity I worked for, facing a mega class action lawsuit, had me helping to run numbers on when to close the dates for filing the class action vs the bankruptcy in order to fight to keep their organization alive. Same problems as the big companies I work for, just a different direction.

It's why I spend a lot of time pondering whether or not anything I do or value of any relationship I have will matter in 500 years. I don't think any of it will. That's not pity, it's just a pure nihilistic and absurdistic way to look at my life and even though the counselors work with me to try and change it, it doesn't go away.

So yes, I am asked all the time to do the actuarial math to figure out how many low level employees and managers to have as a RIF (Reduction in Force) or in times like right now, how to figure out how to level compensation when we need to ramp up hiring and there is a shortage of employees. It's not at all what I want to do. But it's where companies literally beg me to work in consulting and jobs and it's what I always land back doing even thought I hate it and want to do other things with math and forecasting. In a company with 185k employees, the fully loaded costs are about a billion per month. Saving 0.5 percent of that is 6 million in savings per year that some executive needs to cost cut. Sometimes it's efficiency like changing contracts with electronic instead of paper statements but other times it's how to reduce benefits and throw the costs to the employees instead of the company.

This is what makes me saddest. All of this machinery isn't to screw the employees. That's of course how you feel which is totally understandable. It's just to make it easier to "win" in competitive situations.

 

[depressedexwriter]

The system has a mathematically sound internal coherence. It still sounds like a machine that produces misery to such an extent that even the 'winners' aren't happy.

I do believe that the machinery *is* to screw the workers -- that a lot of work is just social sadism whose real purpose is to retrench certain power relationships. And the 'must win competition / must increase bottom line' grindset is just the bait on the hook: the hook being a pathological addiction that is socially acceptable and moves people to behave in a predictable way.

I realize this argument sounds pretty schizo. But I think that when a society makes its prime directive 'getting that cheddar' there are a lot of negative externalities. And if we are stuck behaving this way (because if we don't, our competitors will!), that sounds to me almost like a hostage situation. And because companies and economies tend to need to do better each year, I see it leading to more misery. It depresses me.

 

[watchingthewheels]

Who are these "original researchers" that have "denounced" the concepts of "alpha" and "beta?"

"Alpha Wolf: A Discredited Theory?"

"New science suggests that wolves are more cooperative than dominating. This is leading some researchers to re-think the "alpha theory" of wolf behaviour."

In 1947, Rudolph Schenkel wrote "Expressions Studies on Wolves." In it, he argued that wolf packs included a "bitch wolf" (dominant female) and a "lead wolf" (dominant male). These dominant wolves, he claimed, maintained their social position "by incessant control and repression of all types of competition (within the same sex)." In other words, wolves battled it out for their superior status. Although Schenkel never used the term alpha wolf, this book laid the foundation for the theory.


In 1970, David Mech's book The Wolf: Ecology and Behaviour of an Endangered Species supported and popularized Schenkel's theory. Mech coined the term "alpha wolf" which furthered the idea that wolves fought among one another to establish top-ranking. Today, Mech, a leading wolf biologist, does not ascribe to the alpha theory. Instead, he has produced new evidence that disproves his former work.

full article:

Alpha Wolf: A Discredited Theory?

You've probably encountered the idea of the "alpha wolf" before, but did you know that it is widely discredited by wolf biologists?

woodlandwoman.ca

 

[vinterland8]

"Alpha Wolf: A Discredited Theory?"

"New science suggests that wolves are more cooperative than dominating. This is leading some researchers to re-think the "alpha theory" of wolf behaviour."



full article:

Alpha Wolf: A Discredited Theory?

You've probably encountered the idea of the "alpha wolf" before, but did you know that it is widely discredited by wolf biologists?

woodlandwoman.ca

"Alpha" in the context of the article refers to a theory regarding earned status within a pack of wolves, not "alpha" within the context of natural selection.

 

[watchingthewheels]

"Alpha" in the context of the article refers to a theory regarding earned status within a pack of wolves, not "alpha" within the context of natural selection.

The OP and others were talking about alpha wolves, primates, etc (as do most people when talking about this topic), and asked about the disputed idea, and the scientists who debunked it, when it was asked "Who are these "original researchers" that have "denounced" the concepts of "alpha" and "beta?") But thank you for adding the distinction.

 

[Darth Ruin]

(...)

A different person from you would probably deal with this by having stronger ideals or morals. It sounds like you have opinions on something, but just don't put much worth on them in favor of a neutral and more encompassing view which helps you accept the current world. You say you don't like the focus on wealth but you accept competition as something natural and logical. Though wealth culture is just an outgrowth from that. Accepting the notions of competition should also justify wealth culture as a natural way of expressing ones success. It sounds like you dislike the expression of emotions, be it your own or others expressing theirs, regardless of the validity of these emotions as long as greater machinations can explain how these emotions can come about.
Many people do not have a choice about what they can do with their lifes, but it seems you could choose to put more worth onto what you like by heightening your support of whatever it is. Even if it is just a temporary thing, not doing anything in its support will just reinforce the eternal nature of the current framework.

(...)

I wouldn't call that schizophrenic, it is obvious that a system can't just naturally grow without limits, the growth has to be taken from somewhere else. Businesses nowadays are more fighting for our attention overall as their competition is not just the corporations offering the same goods or services as they do, but also markets that would not have been perceived as competitors before. So corporations try to become all-encompassing, but that process creates the misery as the main product they sell eventually becomes worse because of changes implemented for cost-cutting or because of other concerns, yet at the same time their time spent perfecting how they are doing their business makes it harder for a competitor to undercut their prices and gain a foothold in the market, meaning the inferior product will stay dominant for far longer than it would if the competition were natural. And were businesses not so focused on growth and the competition coming from that, rather accepting the natural life cycle of trends, we could have a nieche in which everyone could be comfortable.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm a beta male and it's partly why I ended up here. Have been too fearful in life. Too nice. Too generous. Too pleasing. Too indecisive. Too passive. And now I'm paralyzed and isolated. Overcome with SI but trapped.

Not sure why I'm so beta. Probably early childhood trauma. Never taught to ID and express feelings. Anger and rage turned inward causing depression. I've never gotten "angry" in my life… not once ever.
Now I'm hoping the inner rage will morph into some very fast and terminal illness. It feels like something terminal is growing within me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've not really thought that much about alpha/beta as categories but I do feel like this society rewards sociopaths and that really troubles me and makes me sad- I guess that makes me beta...

 

[whatevs]

The implication of this alpha/beta terminology is that right-wing men displaying toxic masculinity, social dominance orientation, etc. are 'above' or 'better than' the rest of us, yes?

How is this pyramid hierarchy defined exactly? The world's richest man makes vegan cars. The most popular bodybuilder of the past century battles climate change. Androgynous musicians like Prince have often been some of the most attractive to women.

Personally, I like to think that the paleolithic pickup-truck bro trend will pass and some other fashion style will be in vogue for those too afraid to be themselves.

This isn't political. Alpha just means the first. In all groups some people, men and women, take a leadership role. Women in particular find that very attractive and it's only fair, as is hard to go wrong with a partner that charms/controls people, because people are both indispensable to survival and very dangerous.

 

[Pluto]

This isn't political.

There is that, of course, even if it is a very generic part of human reproductive psychology. Still, I interpreted some of the OP's commentary as a reference to the cult bandwagon representing a former US president.

If so, this movement has definitely represented a departure in male gender identities compared to the one I grew up with, or various others throughout history for that matter. A lot of young people that I speak to these days have barely even heard of Kurt Cobain, but for my generation, Nirvana was unquestionably the Beatles of the day; the voice of the entire generation. No doubt Cobain's memory has been partly censored because of his suicidal demise, and partly because authentic feelings such as anger are banned amidst the clinical monotony of modern top 40 music.

Anyway, Cobain rebelled from traditional gender roles in a number of ways. He preached in support of women's rights, occasionally wore dresses on stage and once claimed that he might have a bisexual lifestyle were it not for his then partner, Courtney Love. He had a personal rivalry with the more old-school Axl Rose. And yet, his unkempt presentation and the youthful rage of his ingenious simple music itself contrasted to top 40 contemporaries like Michael Jackson, himself a wild departure from any traditional gender stereotype.

The point I am trying to make is that today's interpretation of alpha masculinity, while purporting to hark back to a timeless, paleolithic, generic man's man, is far from universal. From my perspective, there's more authentic masculinity in a man being himself than conforming to the groupthink image of the day, especially when it is openly toxic, primitive, anti-intellectualist and out of kilter with the issues of the day. Then again, I'm single and feel like I'm on the wrong planet, so who am I to give lectures?

 

[Tintypographer]

As the OP, my current world view is the deep south of the United States. It's where I live and grew up. When songs like Lee greenwood "proud to be an American" play, the audience stands with the reverence that a religious person would have for their highest artifact of God. What I see is my own interpretation in this world but the view seems.to be that "if you aren't man enough to be a tough guy then you don't deserve to be part of society". Men openly carry guns at fourth of July events. Sexuality is only male and female and men are tough and bullying is encouraged if it is against those things that are not strong and tough. Mental health problems are a weakness and weakness is not to be tolerated. Navy seals or special forces are the ideals. But the thing I'm seeing is that this culture has been growing and winning in everything from politics to education to media. I feel like for a time that culture was being marginalized even considered taboo in work and schools. Things like me too and diversity education caught hold. And I felt like that culture of the tough male world was becoming less relevant. And it seemed to me to have come back. With or without the former us president, the tough guy bully don't care what people think and stop feeling sorry for your self and man up world came back where I live with a vengeance.

That's where my original post was coming from as an observation. I hear it and see it "suicide is weak and cowardly" in a YouTube video by a navy seal. That's the mentality I see as the tough guy credence. I probably mislabeled it as alpha since that designstionseems to mean something academically but what I meant was the black t shirt wearing with flag and CrossFit logo carrying a big assault rifle driving a side by side to the fourth of July fireworks display with an America first bumper sticker and a believe that the tough win.

 

[waitingforrest]

I don't know much about the beta/alpha stuff. But truth is, the more competitive people are more likely to make higher wages in corporate jobs. The less you care about someone, the easier it is to use them as a stepping stone to climb the ladder.

I don't think that only people considered beta would ctb. If anything, it's the people that have been s**t on the most by life and the society they live in. I think it is quite f**ked up to bully groups of people to the point that they want to ctb, but then turn around and act like life is precious. Life might be precious but there sure are many people that don't treat it that way. It's like people only notice how their actions contribute in making things worse only when it affects them.

I still wonder, why billionaires try to help fix problems with their never ending supply of money? What is the point of collecting all that money, even the smallest fraction could help out so many. Could it be that billionaires associate their power and status with how much money they have? I don't know, rich people confuse me.

When it is no longer considered acceptable to bully one group, people just move on to the next group they think is unacceptable. People seem to always find reasons to justify their hate.

Probably got off topic there.

 

[Tintypographer]

I have found that success isn't as dependent on being a jerk or not being a jerk. Simon sinek (leader eat last author) said in a TED talk that everytime he has interviewed teams one question is always the easiest to answer, "Who is the asshole in your organization?"

But not every organization rewards assholes with success. I have had very blessed financial and career success while trying to avoid leadership roles and any recognition. I suppose there could be more accolades if I pushed myself but I see quiet successes all the time.

My observation is that the bully mentality was losing ground. I saw at my kids schools the football jocks were being replaced or at least equaled by the STEM nerds and it was becoming acceptable for a young person to be a gender or sexuality other than their birth or hetero. Not only that, there were demands that people not bully or be demeaning and popularity no longer got you a free pass if you were mean. I'm probably projecting but I saw that the old views were becoming irrelevant and one thing that I think bullies hate is irrelevance. Negating someone by conflict is one way to defeat them but negating them by saying "your life and culture no longer matter" could be a hard sting.

Regardless, I mostly feel like I'm caught in a machine and culture that wasn't my choosing, that I can only impact a small amount and in 500 years it is statistically likely that nothing I do will matter. This was all just an observation.

 

[Euthanza]

Adolf Hitler, Kurt Cobain, Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell etc I'm sure they're alpha, many military guys also died by suicide even they're very masculine