I am 25 and fell in love with a 55 year old man. He has hurt me so much.

[FireFox]

I had almost the exact same experience.. not such a large age gap but he's still much older than me. In my case he was my boss, not married, just a horrible person. He pursued me for a while, it was very confusing as he was my boss, we even ended up dating. Then as soon as he got what he wanted he became horrible to me at work. I'm over it now but the increased suicidal thoughts have remained. I've also lost hope that I'll ever date or go near another man again, which is very disappointing. I hope karma shows up for him.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I don't know how anyone can take advantage of someone else like that and for what? They should really try dating apps instead of seeking out colleagues at work.

@LittleBlackCat Big virtual hug What an arsehole man. He is out there making some other woman's life complete hell. If he can treat you this way then he can treat any other woman this way. Sometimes I feel like jailing these men is not enough. Men like this deserve public shame, humiliation and hate that is what I think.

You deserved so much better.

 

[LadyApple]

"In beginning I loved how he was always messaging me and remembering things I said in previous conversations. When I told him my throat was sore in a conversation the next day at work he asked how I was feeling."

- these were nothing, really. A friend could do that for you. I would ask you how did you feel the next day if you told me you had a sore throat. I would bring you cough drops if I were your friend or even just your coworker. Raise your bar. I know it can be hard at first but keep saying "I'm lovable, I'm loved, I love" over and over again. get used to be reciprocated. I hope one day very soon you will get to experience a real man's real love, and be happy and content.

 

[Againstthewind]

@Againstthewind I am trying so hard not to be jealous of his girlfriend who is her in 50s just like him but it is so hard because she can give him the comfortable living he desires and satisfy him whereas I can not because I am 25 years old. I am jealous of a woman in her 50s because I can't compete. The gf owns a property aboard, she has more in common with regarding loss of parents( the man lost his elderly father last year and the woman lost her mother a couple of years ago) whereas both my parents are still alive and they have been friends with each other for over 20 years.

It is upsets me realising she is better than me. I am now trying to move on and start again.

You need to stop with this idea that you are unlovable or that this 55-year-old woman is better than you. You're talking about all these things that this 55-year-old has now, but that still took many many years. I don't want to use the cliche line that you have your whole life ahead of you, but I didn't even have my shit together at 25 (still dont, LOL) from what you've been saying to other members on this thread, you probably liked the attention from this guy and he probably made you feel attractive special et cetera. That makes sense. However, at the same time if you saw a man of his age, trying to get into something with someone who is 30 years younger than him, you would find that quite strange.

I understand that feeling of wanting someone and almost vying for their attention, it takes time to snap out of that whole mind frame and realise that, that person isn't good for you. I know it sucks that it can't be a quick process but it can be a great learning experience to make sure that, that doesn't happen with the next person, you possibly have a relationship with and to also learn your own self-respect.

 

[FireFox]

"In beginning I loved how he was always messaging me and remembering things I said in previous conversations. When I told him my throat was sore in a conversation the next day at work he asked how I was feeling."

- these were nothing, really. A friend could do that for you. I would ask you how did you feel the next day if you told me you had a sore throat. I would bring you cough drops if I were your friend or even just your coworker. Raise your bar. I know it can be hard at first but keep saying "I'm lovable, I'm loved, I love" over and over again. get used to be reciprocated. I hope one day very soon you will get to experience a real man's real love, and be happy and content.

@LadyApple He always talked about meeting me again in person a lot. The first time we met was at an office day event organised by the workplace and we got on so well and had lots of fun. The communication between us became regular. Majority of my workplace pretty much everyone works from home and live in different towns and cities across the south of England. WFH I find so lonely and he became someone I talked regularly I fell for him.

I really thought he liked me. Valentines day makes me want to ctb because it is a painful reminder of love I never got to have while every other woman got lucky and chosen. On the 14th February i am going to be stuck at home single while other women are getting chocolates, cards, trips to restaurants with their boyfriends and being seen as that man's special person. It hurts I am never going to experience that in my life.

You need to stop with this idea that you are unlovable or that this 55-year-old woman is better than you. You're talking about all these things that this 55-year-old has now, but that still took many many years. I don't want to use the cliche line that you have your whole life ahead of you, but I didn't even have my shit together at 25 (still dont, LOL) from what you've been saying to other members on this thread, you probably liked the attention from this guy and he probably made you feel attractive special et cetera. That makes sense. However, at the same time if you saw a man of his age, trying to get into something with someone who is 30 years younger than him, you would find that quite strange.

I understand that feeling of wanting someone and almost vying for their attention, it takes time to snap out of that whole mind frame and realise that, that person isn't good for you. I know it sucks that it can't be a quick process but it can be a great learning experience to make sure that, that doesn't happen with the next person, you possibly have a relationship with and to also learn your own self-respect.

@Againstthewind With valentines day approaching all these feelings of overwhelming sadness, disappointment have intensified so much. The rejection throughout my life from has ulimately broken me even my own father didn't want me.

On February 14th I am going to be stuck working from home while all the other women will getting flowers, chocolates and love from their men. It's too late for me. I am an unlovable the men throughout my life have hurt me. All I have eve3 known is bring ignored, rejected and humiliated by men. I was confident and outgoing as teenage girl but guys thought I was werid, I was confident in my 20s and guys still rejected.

 

[Againstthewind]

@Againstthewind With valentines day approaching all these feelings of overwhelming sadness, disappointment have intensified so much. The rejection throughout my life from has ulimately broken me even my own father didn't want me.

On February 14th I am going to be stuck working from home while all the other women will getting flowers, chocolates and love from their men. It's too late for me. I am an unlovable the men throughout my life have hurt me. All I have eve3 known is bring ignored, rejected and humiliated by men. I was confident and outgoing as teenage girl but guys thought I was werid, I was confident in my 20s and guys still rejected.

LOL don't worry they'll probably some women that are in relationships that will probably be forgotten because we me nsometimes are boneheaded. It's not too late for you at all. I understand your past with relationships with your family, but also remember your life's purpose, It's not based upon the man that you keep or the man that you're with, your purpose is based on yourself and what you do with life. I know you want to be with someone and be loved. We all want that, but sometimes we have to make sure that we are put together as best as we can before we can love someone else. This situation may make you feel horrible but man you gotta remember you're young, you'll meet people in their 20s maybe even 30s, some 55-year-old man is not worth all of this. There's a whole world out there things can change in an instant.

 

[SadJessu]

Yeah, you dodged a bullet.

I wasted 14 years of my life being in love and in a relationship with my ex high school teacher. We had a 45 year age gap. I was young, naive, and very stupid to pursue him, and he was narcissistically predatory to allow me to begin a relationship with him. I am autistic and it played out much like your story, being as he was the only person who seemed to care about me at that time. The relationship was abusive emotionally, I don't think he was a bad person overall, but I was more a vehicle for his narcissistic validation than an actual partner. Lots of things happened that ended up breaking me in ways that can not be repaired.

Even though I'm married now to a wonderful man my own age, the things that happened to me when I was younger have pretty much ruined a part of me. I hold so much guilt and shame for the situation, because it was me who initially came on to him. He had become my identity, escaping was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, and I will never be 'ok', unfortunately.

I know how badly this hurts, just be thankful that it hasn't gone any further. Wishing you peace.