Venting I always feel like the odd one out.

[FERAL_FRENZY]

I crash and burn in every social interaction, no matter the context. Talking or texting in general stresses me out so badly because I never know how someone's gonna interpret the things I say. I am deathly afraid of offending the people I care about and sometimes I just wanna crush my tongue between my teeth and never utter another word ever again. I'm considering going mute. I feel like I'll always be "weird" in the eyes of others, and no amount of fake charm will ever shake that perception. It hurts. I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong. I wish people were more direct about how they felt, because nowadays it feels like everyone's content with speaking in riddles and being vague. It feels like everyone else is in on some huge inside joke, and I keep having to ask for explanations to get it.

Even when I'm with friends, I can't help but stew in jealousy because they make it look so easy. They flawlessly bounce off of one another, and it doesn't seem like it takes that much effort. What kills me the most is that they all seem to have best friends who truly understand them to a T. Someone they can relate to on a personal level and favor spending time with. I want to be happy for them, but I just don't have it in me. I want what they have, but it seems so out of reach.

 

[Pluto]

 

[abchia]

hey, you seem like a really kind person. i'm sorry this is happening to you, it sucks and must hurt a lot :(

i feel left out a lot, especially when there's an odd number of people. its really draining and all i've ever wanted to be is normal. when others try to include me in things, i can't help but see it as them feeling forced to try to involve me. sometimes i feel they're doing it out of pity because i can see that they'd have a better time without me around.

i hope you find someone who understands you and appreciate you for you.

 

[CTB Dream]

Ya v undrstd have autsm add injury damage no relat othr alws werd no mtr hpn any, this rly hard