I (21m) just got groped by my manager (40s f) today.

[rudebeat]

This marks the 3rd time this happened to me in my life, although this particular person has only done it once. Thankfully this time my ass was groped rather than my penis, unlike the previous two times. I felt like I noticed some weird signals from the owner of the place I work at before and when I expected he might try to do something to me I was running through all the things in my head that I could do to get out of that situation. Then, when something actually does happen but someone who I didn't expect does it I just don't respond and move on. I think the manager in her 40s might've done it do someone else too except for now I forget the details for why I thought that. I just remember a period of silence then sudden, very uncomfortable laughter from the girl I was working with who I thought might've been groped, then the manager started laughing too, but not in a nervous way.
Part of me wonders if I reacted a different way just because I got groped by a girl, even though a definitely wasn't attracted to her. I feel like most people would be upset right now but for some weird reason I almost don't care that this happened to me. If I had to choose between attempting to report her and just getting groped a few times a week I might just prefer getting groped. The only thing I am worried about is other people who are more emotionally upset by things like this than me, but as of now I'm not even 100% sure anyone else was groped.

 

[allesistgut]

i'm very sorry that this happened to you. it can be very traumatic from my experience and no one has the right to touch your body without consent. and even if consent is given it can be taken away at any moment. it's very infuriating to hear that this person thinks they can just go around touching people!

also i don't think it's uncommon to have no reaction at first. after all we all process things in different ways and things do effect us differently. for me at least it took me a several years to actually realize what had happen and what effect it had on me. before then it's hard to remember exactly what i thought, but i think i kind of just didn't think about it or tried to pretend it didn't happen or that it happened accidentally.

sorry i'm not sure if this will be in anyway helpful or is just a bit all over the place, but again i'm very sorry this happened to you.

 

[Nolan96]

Why does the idea of reporting her seem so daunting to you? Are you concerned that they wouldn't take it seriously?

I'm sorry this happened to you. Definitely inappropriate. Even if you're not personally bothered, it's still a burden for you to have to worry about dealing with this woman.

 

[Marktheghost]

My advice would be to report it. Hopefully it will deter her from doing it to anyone else.

 

[whatevs]

You gotta do something, or the next move might be bolder seeing that you didn't defend yourself in any way.

 

[NumbItAll]

Even if it doesn't bother you that much to be groped I would still report it on the basis that it's an alarming violation of boundaries + that person should not be in a position of power + you have a witness.

 

[OldDrummer]

You really need to report this.

 

[FuneralCry]

That is so horrible. Some people are just so awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Oh gosh that's awful. I'm sorry this happened to u. Some older women are gross and inappropriate.

 

[rudebeat]

Why does the idea of reporting her seem so daunting to you? Are you concerned that they wouldn't take it seriously?

I'm sorry this happened to you. Definitely inappropriate. Even if you're not personally bothered, it's still a burden for you to have to worry about dealing with this woman.

I feel like I don't have any evidence. I don't know if the other person I was working with even saw, most likely they didn't and even if they did I don't know if they would back up my story. I feel like generally what I hear from people attempting to report these things through hr is usually that they're very dismissive. Also, I'm already on the edge of being fired, I've heard the owner talk about my negatively about my performance at work and the best thing they had to say was that I was "working out better than that other guy though." Even if hr believes me that doesn't mean the owner would and I think they might just look for any excuse to fire me.

Most importantly however, I have a health condition affected by stress called hyperacusis. Whenever I get the slightest amount of stress I get pain in my ears and the condition gets progressively worse and worse over if you continue to let yourself be stressed. This whole situation would cause me a lot of stress and I'm already having the beginnings of a relapse. Also because of some of my other health conditions this is one of the few places where I can work at and function.

Also I don't think I'd be taken as seriously given my gender and the gender of the person who groped me, as shown by the guy who posted this, "Where do you work and when can I start" I know not everyone like this but I think among older people this attitude is much more common and I'd be dealing with older people most likely if I decided to report this.

 

[StarryStarry]

This marks the 3rd time this happened to me in my life, although this particular person has only done it once. Thankfully this time my ass was groped rather than my penis, unlike the previous two times. I felt like I noticed some weird signals from the owner of the place I work at before and when I expected he might try to do something to me I was running through all the things in my head that I could do to get out of that situation. Then, when something actually does happen but someone who I didn't expect does it I just don't respond and move on. I think the manager in her 40s might've done it do someone else too except for now I forget the details for why I thought that. I just remember a period of silence then sudden, very uncomfortable laughter from the girl I was working with who I thought might've been groped, then the manager started laughing too, but not in a nervous way.
Part of me wonders if I reacted a different way just because I got groped by a girl, even though a definitely wasn't attracted to her. I feel like most people would be upset right now but for some weird reason I almost don't care that this happened to me. If I had to choose between attempting to report her and just getting groped a few times a week I might just prefer getting groped. The only thing I am worried about is other people who are more emotionally upset by things like this than me, but as of now I'm not even 100% sure anyone else was groped.

Who the hell does she think she is??? Okay, this is what I would do. Get a little recorder (Amazon sells them). Turn that sucker on and confront her with the evidence get her to admit it and contact EEOC with the evidence. This really pisses me off!!! I'm so sorry you are dealing with some dumb ass.

 

[noname223]

This marks the 3rd time this happened to me in my life, although this particular person has only done it once. Thankfully this time my ass was groped rather than my penis, unlike the previous two times. I felt like I noticed some weird signals from the owner of the place I work at before and when I expected he might try to do something to me I was running through all the things in my head that I could do to get out of that situation. Then, when something actually does happen but someone who I didn't expect does it I just don't respond and move on. I think the manager in her 40s might've done it do someone else too except for now I forget the details for why I thought that. I just remember a period of silence then sudden, very uncomfortable laughter from the girl I was working with who I thought might've been groped, then the manager started laughing too, but not in a nervous way.
Part of me wonders if I reacted a different way just because I got groped by a girl, even though a definitely wasn't attracted to her. I feel like most people would be upset right now but for some weird reason I almost don't care that this happened to me. If I had to choose between attempting to report her and just getting groped a few times a week I might just prefer getting groped. The only thing I am worried about is other people who are more emotionally upset by things like this than me, but as of now I'm not even 100% sure anyone else was groped.

This reminds of something that happened to my when I was in elementary school. There were twins. One of them touched me somewhere I am not usually groped by other people. Especially not involuntarily. I can still remember it but it did not have an impact on my development.
The irony of that story is. Some years later I accidently stepped with cleats on the hand of one of the twins. She cried A LOT. I was really sorry and it was not intentionally. But it would be kind of ironic if she used the same hand to grope me...

 

[OldDrummer]

Seriously, this is a police matter.