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LavĂ­nia

LavĂ­nia

plalace
Feb 19, 2024
161
I was trying to write a final letter to my ex, but it ended up just being unbridled hysteria. There is so much to say, I need to calmly write something that I can't even think calmly about.
-----------

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, you helped me a lot. You saved me so many times, thank you. I felt so good, I tried so hard with your help. Thank you.
I really, truly, always wanted to thank you. Of course there were moments of anger, moments when I was sad, but I blame my weakness and not your actions. Of everything I felt for you and experienced, what I felt the most was gratitude. You have no idea how much you helped me, I could have died in 2020, in 2021, but no. Thank you so much, really.
I wanted to do everything perfectly, right, you know. Build something and cultivate a bond with you, even if it wasn't completely reciprocal. That way I could be with you, try to help even just a little too, and see how far you would go. I knew I wouldn't get very far, I gave up on that a long time ago. But I wanted to see you, what would you do? Where would you go? How would you build that?
Not being able to help you hurt so much, I'm sorry. A teacher! It's amazing, I really wanted to listen to your classes, at the front desk. No, no, at the back desk! Listening and watching the children absorb what you're saying. You taught me so many things, you made me survive better, better able to handle everything that happens in my daily life.
I couldn't do it, I ruined everything. I didn't understand what I wanted by trying so hard, it was already good as it was. If I feel that continuing something I broke can hurt you, then let it end and you can move on. You know, I died. Yes, I'm dead, dead. It doesn't hurt.
I never understood if you cared about me. If you did, I'm happy but sad for you too. If you didn't, I'm sad but so much lighter, I didn't bother you so much. I didn't understand when you said that, that I had disappeared and the world seemed slower. I didn't understand, I really wanted to understand. I had an impact. Some value there. It's selfish, right, but it warms the heart.
I hope you grow a lot... not in height, that was your chance, man. But in things! More things! More life. I hope you get well, I really, really, really, really hope and wish that you get well and healthy. Take care of yourself. I love you so much, and it's not just me. I love you, I love you.
Never do what you don't want to, most of the time what you wanted was the most interesting and logical thing... except for excessive idleness.
 
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Reactions: ItsAllSoTiresome, party? and CatLvr
party?

party?

Member
Feb 10, 2025
30
I think something about this letter is just so raw and pure in way
 
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Reactions: LavĂ­nia

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