Venting Hurts knowing I will never know what it’s like to have a partner before I CTB

[JayJay]

To be honest, I haven't had a gf since my junior year of high school. Family members/friends even questioned my sexuality because it has been so long. I'm basically living in poverty and at the risk of being homeless any time. Just having one more relationship before I go would be nice to have. But at same time, the bus is waiting. The longer I live, the more difficult life gets. I've been having chronic sleep and headaches that are making life just so unbearable. So I'll probably never live to get that chance to be with someone.

 

[DivineSpark]

You are not alone in this...I have never felt touch of woman...

 

[Darkover]

Life simply doesn't care about anything it creates it just leaves you alone to do what one wants or is able to do with the constant control of biological urges to eat sleep drink piss shit and the desire for intimacy. Life just throws you here, no instructions, no reason, and says, "Figure it out while constantly needing to maintain a malfunctioning machine that runs on pain and temporary fixes." it's like we're puppets with a bit of slack in the strings. like, "Here, do what you want… as long as you eat, sleep, work, reproduce, obey laws, and don't break down too often."

 

[bhaloo]

I felt the touch of many women but all purchased. without money no one would ever touch me. So I am luckier than the OP but my experience of love is synthetic and transactional

 

[musingsofaghost]

I get what you mean. People I know from my final year of high school are getting married, while I've never had a partner in my life at all. My heart breaks knowing I'll CTB before I get to experience what others have.