How?

[huntergirl14]

How to start with recovery?

current state: extremely depressed, suicidal, cant even perform mundane tasks easily, scared, want to sleep all the time.

 

[alonely]

I wish I knew too, your post describes me perfectly.

I've been trying to google constantly to figure out what's wrong with me and why, a meaning to life, philosophy, how the mind works. Some things have resonated with me mildly, but I'm still feeling very much in the grasp of depression and suicidal thoughts, unable to act on anything.

 

[timf]

There is a joke that goes:

"How do you eat an elephant?"
Answer: "One bite at a time"

It can be daunting to think of recovery in terms of a completely new direction in life.However, when thought of in small incremental steps, it seems more natural. For example doing small things that are pleasurable, like reading a favorite book or watching a favorite movie can both drive back depression for a while as well as give you an increased sense of control.

If you undertake new activities as an experiment to find if anything give a sense of purpose, accomplishment, or even simply interest, you may discover new options that also increase a sense of control as well as providing more positive experiences.

One key to getting started is to see it as something you are directing in small steps and to give yourself credits when you find things that work and do not take it personally when experiments don't work. They simply help you know what not to try next time.

 

[huntergirl14]

There is a joke that goes:

"How do you eat an elephant?"
Answer: "One bite at a time"

It can be daunting to think of recovery in terms of a completely new direction in life.However, when thought of in small incremental steps, it seems more natural. For example doing small things that are pleasurable, like reading a favorite book or watching a favorite movie can both drive back depression for a while as well as give you an increased sense of control.

If you undertake new activities as an experiment to find if anything give a sense of purpose, accomplishment, or even simply interest, you may discover new options that also increase a sense of control as well as providing more positive experiences.

One key to getting started is to see it as something you are directing in small steps and to give yourself credits when you find things that work and do not take it personally when experiments don't work. They simply help you know what not to try next time.

I'm trying but i keep failing and it just pushes me deeper into the hole. Its very hard

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

cant even perform mundane tasks easily

I get this. It makes everything so fucking hard.

For context, I lived alone in isolation only leaving home to buy groceries for the whole of 2021 and the first few months of this year.

Cooking takes time, you don't have energy to wait for food. Food makes dishes, and you don't have energy for dishes. Everything becomes an "I'll do it later" problem that slowly piles up. If I said that keeping my house organized helps me, that's not super useful advice. If I say that walking helps, well, you need to be in a good mood to walk in the first place. Even standing up or just sitting required too much energy and laying down in bed was best. It's rough.

I'll be honest, after being warded against my will (there are no health checks where I live) and my mother seeing the bullshit idea it was after, offered a compromise. My isolation was too extreme, being warded was too extreme. Seeing a psychiatrist was a middle ground we agreed upon. I am now taking Lexapro + Wellbutrin for a few months now. Lots of ups and downs, but overall it helped.

Another thing that is good is to have any socialization to look forward to, whether that be a job, university classes, or a friendship group. Talking to other human beings does wonders to the soul. And then start a routine to try to keep your good habits in check. You will fail at times, but it's okay. It's part of the journey.

Obviously being that I found myself on these forums recently means that my experience isn't the best, but I hope it helps.
Best wishes, and hugs to you

 

[Lavender Dreams]

The answer is gradually. When you're depressed and want to recover, it's often tempting to try and do everything at once when you're able to complete a small task. Ends with burnout and self hate, a vicious cycle.

My advice is to try and choose two small things you can do at the start - go to sleep at a specific time or maybe cook a small, easy meal every other day? Then increment on them every 2 weeks once you're comfortable. It really depends on where your starting point is. Writing these down in a physical notebook and setting calendar reminders helped. On average it takes about 8 weeks for new habits to become automatic, so don't be discouraged too quickly.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Sorry if my message is a bit short, woke up with a splitting headache. Take things at your own pace. Recovery isn't easy. Medication can go one way or the other. If you need to sleep, I would say sleep. Best of wishes.

 

[chloramine]

As many others have said, slowly. I'm not going to repeat the other points, but I would like to add that humans are incredibly social creatures and isolation will make everything harder. Try to talk to someone every day if you can (again this is something that may need to be built up so no judgement if you can't or if it's very inconsistent). Even just responding to people here or somewhere else online before building up to in person or people you talk to more regularly. It makes such a huge difference personally.