How would your suicide affect others in your life?

[dogemn]

Do you somtimes worry how it will affect them?

 

[Lulzacruel]

if im dead, nothing to worry about

they will be sad, maybe even commit suicide themselves. i will make sure to a leave a note that would ask them to just move on after the death, not like anything significant with me involves my family

 

[Misfit72]

I used to worry about that but I no longer do. I worry about the impact on my young nieces most of all, but if they hate me after this, that's a right they have.

As one Samaritan volunteer said to me: Why does it matter to you? You'll be dead!

 

[kogareta]

I can say that it's the only reason I'm alive. I may have control over next periods of my life but I don't have the power to go on, maybe I do but I don't want to try.
My father would be struck since he lost his brother to suicide years ago. He never wants to talk about it and when I try to talk about his deceased brother, he tries to change the topic of the conversation. Only he knows about the struggles I'm going through with my psyche and he tries to help. He was understanding when I tried to talk about these, and when I demanded help because I may do something wrong, he tried helping as much as he can. He brought me the psychiatrist and paid some amount of money which I can call significant for my mental well-being. He also supports me with studies etc. I can't just leave him just because I feel like this, it's so selfish. He'll get the bad feelings of me but twice as much till the end of his life. Also, he'll have two deceased relatives, which obviously would scar him.
And also, there is my mother. My mother whom I always seem happy next to. She thinks I'm happy with stuff. She thinks I'm energetic and I have a bright future which I see a cut wrist in. She even cries in the most subtle of topics, I won't let her cry looking over my photos.
There are my siblings who are little as well. They'll have a childhood trauma and never forgive me.
There is my only friend, who seems to care at least. She is lonely, we talk and go out. I always act weird around her and when talking to her and always think she'll get bored of me so I can't tell her anything about my thoughts and my mental health. I do love her and if there is a future for me, she is next to me holding hands with me.
If I kill myself, my pain will be multiplied and shared with five people. This is what I am afraid of. I hate this, but I'll keep on going. Have a good night.

 

[NoLightRemains]

It'd absolutely destroy my family. There's no getting away from it. It'd be much easier if I wasn't loved by so many people, but I don't see a way forward. It may be the cop-out, but in my case I try to see it as the late stages of a terminal disease I fought hard against, but ran out of strength.

 

[bedtimebabe]

I mostly just feel bad about my parents who have given a lot for me to do well and who will be devastated if I commit suicide. I wish I wanted life just for their sake so they could have something good come of what they've given to me but I can't think about anything besides my death these days.

 

[Lost Magic]

My loved ones and support network has died or moved on. No one will really miss me and I am cool with that. I don't even want to be remembered. My body will be cremated with no service and scattered as per my wishes.

 

[Fe(IV)]

I kinda teared up thinking. I disappeared for like 3 months no contact no messaging w/e.
Last time I disappeared for an year during Covid and no one gave a fuck.
This time I actually had friends come to my apartment for an intervention. Multiple times.
Some of them have also struggled and even attempted to die.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Some friends will be sad, but will get over it. Family may be crushed, and it may drive 1 or 2 of them to CTB as well. Others won't really care. It is what it is.

 

[toofargone6969]

Same here. that makes it really tough. With a lot of guilt and shame that make everything so much worse.

It'd absolutely destroy my family. There's no getting away from it. It'd be much easier if I wasn't loved by so many people, but I don't see a way forward. It may be the cop-out, but in my case I try to see it as the late stages of a terminal disease I fought hard against, but ran out of strength.

 

[starlover]

Yes. They're the only reason why I'm still here, trapped. I'd have hurled myself off something tall a long time ago otherwise.

 

[Weeb]

I have a large social circle, not to mention I am often the person people go to for their problems. My brother has no friends except me and I worry greatly about him. Plus I have too many people that depend on me such as friends and even my job. If I diseppear I don't know who will do my work? We are quite short staffed and not too many people can replace me. So I guess yes, I worry, however I won't let that keep me here. My job should get more stable and more employees and my brother needs to reach out on his own. For my social activities(I run a mini club) I have made some plans on replacements if I eventually decide to go.

 

[Unwr!tten]

My friends would be devastated and are the reason I'm still here, but I'm slowly caring less as my mental state deteriorates. I ponder a lot the impact my death would have though, people's reaction and such.

 

[delusionalgirl]

Well my dad hasn't talked to me in 5 years so don't care. Mom will just stay in the bottle. Friends are the more difficult and a couple would try to summon me with a ouija board. Those friends are getting little notes.

 

[Techef]

None of my friends have reached out to me in the last 3-4 years, but I imagine a few of them would be sad for a bit before moving on with their lives. My only family left is my sibling, whom I care deeply for. They've been suicidal in the past, but very much want to live. I would hate for my CTB to contribute to their mental suffering, but it's not something I can control.

 

[flightlessbutterfly]

Honestly? My mother would likely kill herself after me, my so-called father wouldn't care and my brother would be absolutely devastated. I have lots of extended family but they'll get over it, my first cousins would probably be sad, but we rarely talk or interact nowadays anyway. I do have my small group of friends, but they've made it clear that we aren't as close as I thought we were so no big deal there.

 

[Misfit72]

It'd absolutely destroy my family. There's no getting away from it. It'd be much easier if I wasn't loved by so many people, but I don't see a way forward. It may be the cop-out, but in my case I try to see it as the late stages of a terminal disease I fought hard against, but ran out of strength.

Maybe it'll affect mine but I just don't care any more - my family was destroyed when my mother died young, so I might as well finish off the job. I don't want to be loved, because just as there is junk food, there is junk love, and I find the 'people that love you' argument a form of emotional blackmail.

I don't love my father, and the only thing I dislike even more than him being around now is him being around 25 years from now. If my self-killing drives him to his death, I don't care, I haven't seen him in over three years, and nor do I care to.

My nieces, my younger brother's children, are the ones I do care about the most, but if this woman - https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3209468/Train-death-lawyer-tortured-guilt-not-good-mother-Millionaire-suffered-personal-problems-turned-drink-telling-GP-ruined-life.html - could kill herself, despite having far more to live for than I did then or do now, why shouldn't I do the same?

 

[Ghostofthepast]

It wouldn't no one would miss me

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm still here because I'm so worried about that. I expect lots of people are holding on for others. Some people are ONLY holding on for the sake of others now. Kind of curious that we'll probably STILL be called selfish- even though we may have been holding off CTB for decades. I've had ideation in varying intensity for 33 years.

I think it would devastate my Dad. Beyond that though, I'm very distant from the rest of my family and friends (intentionally.) I expect some will be more upset than others. Of course that still troubles me but realistically- all they'll be missing is a Christmas card and the odd phone call/ text. The idea will likely be shocking and sad to some but to others- it won't be a complete surprise.

How about you?

 

[nomennescio]

None of the two family members, who are the only ones i have would care, except maybe for their own benefit, by getting compassion for it from others and attention.
Makes it easier on one side and of course sad and lonely on the other hand.

Only one i worry about is my dog, but he would be better off as well.

 

[ShadowSelf]

None of the two family members, who are the only ones i have would care, except maybe for their own benefit, by getting compassion for it from others and attention.
Makes it easier on one side and of course sad and lonely on the other hand.

Only one i worry about is my dog, but he would be better off as well.

Why would your dog be better off?

 

[cicadafriend]

Do you somtimes worry how it will affect them?

Nobody would care except my immediate family. Only reason I'm still here is for them

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm pretty sure my mum wouldn't survive it, the rest of family / relatives surely would survive and the rest of the world wouldn't care about it anyway and I myself wouldn't care about it, too.

 

[mlcs]

Some family members would maybe feel devastated, but it'd be good for them in long term.

I feel like a parasite, I'm unable to contribute anything any more, I can't properly feel, think, talk... I turned into a full scale zombie and everyone including me will be relieved once I completely disappear.

 

[FailerQt.]

I actually talked about it with my mom and she told me that I'd basically be taking her with me and grandma as well most likely. But even that isn't stopping me seeing how much she suffers. It would be a relief for her as well.

 

[Ico]

My wife and daughter would be devastated. However, I honestly believe that the trauma of my death would pale in comparison to the burden of having their lives attached to a worthless and broken person like myself. Without me weighing them down, they will achieve so much and live amazing lives. I have spent the last 5 years saving everything I can, buying a house, and preparing them for a world without me.

The rest of my family will milk my death for sympathy and attention, or will use it as justification for their abusive treatment of me ("See? He was always mentally ill!").

No friends to speak of, but I'm sure that folks who never give me a second thought will post the obligatory "Wah! Woa is me! I'm so sad!" crap on social media.

 

[UnlikelyCandidate]

I've worried about this as I continue to plan my suicide.
My friends may remember me but will eventually move on. Depending on how it all plays out they might never even get confirmation of my death. I'd like to think they'll remember me well but there isn't much I ever offered.
My parents will probably be upset for some time but I don't believe for very long.
My brother and sister hardy have a relationship with me (my fault) and I hope beyond never seeing me again their lives are unaffected.
I don't have much of a connection with the rest of my family and haven't talked to most of them in over a year now. I'd be surprised if my death had any impact on anyone in my family.
I hope the few people that care about my death are able to move on and forget about me.

 

[Jolene79]

My wife and daughter would be devastated. However, I honestly believe that the trauma of my death would pale in comparison to the burden of having their lives attached to a worthless and broken person like myself. Without me weighing them down, they will achieve so much and live amazing lives. I have spent the last 5 years saving everything I can, buying a house, and preparing them for a world without me.

The rest of my family will milk my death for sympathy and attention, or will use it as justification for their abusive treatment of me ("See? He was always mentally ill!").

No friends to speak of, but I'm sure that folks who never give me a second thought will post the obligatory "Wah! Woa is me! I'm so sad!" crap on social media.

I'm sure they'd rather have you than not. I know how hard it is to hear that. I too am a parent and this tortures me. I adore my son and want to be with him. I'm just a sofa ridden mess who can hardly function. When does it become so bad that it actually is better for them not to witness all this anymore.

 

[Ico]

I'm sure they'd rather have you than not. I know how hard it is to hear that. I too am a parent and this tortures me. I adore my son and want to be with him. I'm just a sofa ridden mess who can hardly function. When does it become so bad that it actually is better for them not to witness all this anymore.

My daughter is only 7, and she's not yet fully aware of how the neighborhood families / schoolmates are starting to exclude her from activities because of her 'creepy' and 'sad' Dad. The other parents don't want their kids around me, so I let me golden retriever wife manage the social stuff. It's just a matter of time before my daughter makes the connection and realizes that I am an embarrassment.

Can't get past the realization that children deserve better than growing up with a defective parent. At what point are we doing them a disservice by dragging this out?

Had I taken my life years ago, she wouldn't have even remembered me. My wife would have moved on, and would probably be with a real partner that has dreams and ambitions. Instead, I'm posting on a suicide forum on a Saturday morning while my little girl is playing Roblox and my wife is trying to find fun things to do.

My wife gave me a bowl of fruit for breakfast "to make sure that you live longer". I burst out into involuntary laughter. Then I made sure that she could log into my Discover and bank accounts. Literally trying to set her up for a life without me, and she's giving me...grapes.

I have 07/04 off from work, and she's teaching at a summer camp with my daughter on that day. Would seem like the perfect time to do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that whatever happens in this world after I'm gone could never be my concern as I simply won't exist, death really is the most normal thing, we all have to cease existing someday and people die everyday. I bet that eventually most of us won't even exist in the memories who continue to stay here, but I just wish that nobody would procreate in the first place so that there would be no death and loss.