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All my paperwork is in order. I have never owned many things - 3 sets of clothes, a kindle, a laptop, a car and a phone. Will probably donate the kindle and laptop (my phone is knackered anyway), sell the car, set the messages to go out to everyone so my family does not have to worry about doing that and that is it. Funeral plan is already in place. Will need to keep my work laptop and things ready to be sent I with clear instructions - which is always at the samenplace, so nothing complicated.
I will spend those last three days with my children, playing games, telling them how much I love them and doing everything they want me to do - but again we do this regularly anyway.
I would continue suffering for those 3 days and then die. Unfortunately my situation is not psychological or emotional it's a physical reality. I have about 3 days left though ironically. I hope everyone I'm leaving behind has a beautiful life, act like you have a 3-day lottery every day. Do whatever you can to be happy, I tried to in spite of many obstacles. I did the best I could while I was here but I made too many terrible decisions and I didn't know any better at those times, and it cost me everything. I don't know why it had to work like that, devastating.
Unless there's some sort of monkey's paw twist where at the end of the three days I die by having broken glass shoved into my eyes, nose, ears, and mouth until I'm dead - I'd obviously be too relieved to even describe it. Like a teenage girl on prom night finding out she's not pregnant. The kind of ULTIMATE relief you only feel once in a lifetime. Ironically, it would be the kind of relief a normal, able bodied and minded person would feel at finding out they WEREN'T dying of some disease or other. Such is the way of the inverted life of the disabled.
I wouldn't have a party, because my anhedonia is too strong to enjoy such things - just like sex, drugs, and everything else.
So I would just sit around my family with a shit eating grin from ear to ear in silent knowing. Not speaking a word of it. I hope at the end of the three days my head explodes Scanners style right in front of one of my family's parties. And I hope the fragments of my skull never come out of the rug.
It wouldn't be much different from what I have right now. I would reread my favourite book, rewatch favourite anime, listen to favourite music, and for sure go out with people from my past. Also I think I'd be just relaxing a lot. Generally I wouldn't be happy nor sad, just comfy ;3
Honestly, I'm not sure. I think I would be relieved and maybe even happy (or at least as happy as I'm capable of being), but it's difficult to know for sure how I would actually feel when face to face with imminent death. I'm assuming there would probably be some fear, and maybe even some sadness (mainly for my family, who would greatly miss me).
It's one thing to imagine death. It's an entirely different thing when one is actually faced with death.
If you suddenly found out you had 3 days to live and then you will die peacefully and painlessly how would you react?
It would be like winning 100 million dollars for me. I would be jumping for joy shaking in excitement
I would give all my loved ones a hug and jump up and down and just be so happy and finally feel a peace of mind
It would be the best final days of my life
First impulse would be to cheer, dance, celebrate with happy tears in my eyes. The ideal ending. Knowing that death is on the horizon but slightly enough time to get affairs in order. After everything is squared away, I'd spend as much time with my loved ones as I can. Quit work, pay my online friends to fly out to me and hang out, throw a "Turnip's Crossing Over Party" all-night rager where we just throw some ass to my favorite songs. And on the off hours, pigging out on all my favorite foods, literally stuffed 24/7. Listen to all my favorite music and watch my favorite movies when my loved ones are sleeping (I'd plan on minimal sleep). Also burn bridges with everyone I've ever hated lol but then I'm petty.
Only sad note would be knowing that I'd die with my fanfiction unfinished. I've always prided myself on never abandoning a fic. And one of my online friends is a big supporter of my fics (I'm her #1 fan too). Ugh guess I should tell her the endings for the ones she likes.
I'd be very anxious about it. I hate losing control, in particular losing control over my own life and death. But losing your control over things is just life, perhaps.
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