Discussion How would you feel if you knew someone you loved posted here too?

[almaranthine]

Thought experiment:
You come to find out someone you love a lot, say, the person you love most in this world, has posted here on this forum. The post itself really hits home for you, in fact it resonates with you so deeply you feel like you could have written it yourself. How does this make you feel now, knowing that they want to die too? Would you try to say something to them to make them change their mind? Would it change anything for you regarding your plans?

Personally, I'd be absolutely shattered and heartbroken (more so than I already am) if I found out my person wanted to kill themselves or felt life had brought them to a point where they had to ctb. It would be devastating to think about and be aware of. I think I would be more distraught over their unfortunate circumstances than my own. I wouldn't try to change their mind, but I'd offer my condolences and support. Part of me would feel validated in a fucked up way, like this person who is so talented and smart and attractive couldn't get life to work out for them either... so I shouldn't be so hard on myself since I had much less of a chance myself. Deep down, I would still want them to find happiness and change their mind though, like... that would be my dying thought/wish.

 

[Anonymus]

I couldn't, I couldn't... I couldn't accept it. It would be unbearable. I don't even want to imagine it. This really makes me want to cry.
I'm a fucking hypocrite and selfish.

//

No podría, no podría... no podría acceptar-ho. Sería insuportable. No m'ho vull ni imaginar. Això fot ganes de plorar de debó.
Sóc un hipócrita i egoísta de merda.

 

[blackwidow]

ide be absolutely devestated beyond belief... completly broken they ended up here...

 

[almaranthine]

I couldn't, I couldn't... I couldn't accept it. It would be unbearable. I don't even want to imagine it. This really makes me want to cry.
I'm a fucking hypocrite and selfish.

//

No podría, no podría... no podría acceptar-ho. Sería insuportable. No m'ho vull ni imaginar. Això fot ganes de plorar de debó.
Sóc un hipócrita i egoísta de merda.

Yeah, this thought crossed my mind a few days ago as I was laying in bed, seriously ready to give up and just order the SN. My person and I are no contact and I don't think I will ever have a chance to have a relationship with them ever again but... this thought "what if X was planning to do what you are? how would you feel?" hit me very hard. I cried too.

 

[rationaltake]

I understand others would be devastated. I'd wonder about going together with that person.

 

[blackwidow]

I couldn't, I couldn't... I couldn't accept it. It would be unbearable. I don't even want to imagine it. This really makes me want to cry.
I'm a fucking hypocrite and selfish.

no your not selfish or hypocritical at all don't say that about yourself.. it made me want to cry also.. imagine your child or parents brothers sisters best friend ect being in here.... not worth thinking about my friend.. hugs to you..

 

[FuneralCry]

Nobody that I know would ever post on here, but even if they did it's none of my business. Suicide is a personal decision and it's not something that other people have the right to interfere in. Nothing would make me not want to ctb, and I could never stay alive only for the sake of others.

 

[almaranthine]

I understand others would be devastated. I'd wonder about going together with that person.

I considered the same thing when I first had this thought, but I know at my core I wouldn't want them to go through with it and I would feel absolutely horrible and guilty if I helped. It weird how you can value and care for someone else infinitely more than you could possibly ever care for yourself.

 

[thebunny]

just as i thought my heart could never get any more broken, it would still somehow find a new way to break if i ever were to discover the love of my life posting here and actively wanting to die. it'd break me because i know damn well i will be the reason for their suffering. it would drive me to insanity and lots of impulsive decisions just to make them happy again. hell, i would even sell my soul to the devil if it meant them getting better and finding happiness again. nevertheless, i'd refuse to accept it and would perhaps impulsively ctb upon seeing it to avoid feeling the guilt and shame.

 

[Funeralprincess]

I'd be happy. I'd be happy because, I know what it's like to be forced to live through so much pain, and when you finally have a way to end that pain it can bring bliss and peace. Id support them, and give them all the hugs in the world and let them know that it's okay to want to leave this fucked up place. I would cry with them, letting them know that the pain will be over when they are ready for it to be over, and that they don't have to worry about continuing to live in the flesh on a planet that simply seeks to exploit all whom inhabit it.
I wouldn't try to change their mind, but I'd be confused because if that person posted here, that person would be the love of my life who I still am in love with after five years of separation, and ironically they are the reason I am taking my own life…. If I were to see them here, while I'd be happy and support their autonomy, I'd have so much confusion as to why someone who is well off, handsome, sweet, funny, and kind is choosing to end their life in whatever way they choose to. I'd question how such a perfect person whom every woman dreams of having as a mate, would be here ready to terminate their existence without hesitation.
I'd be so in the dark about it because they do have a huge purpose and reason to live as they're valuable to society, they are in the top level in the dating market, and they have a wonderful family. There is not inherent darkness or flaws to them existing, and they serve such a useful purpose to our vile world….

 

[darkwaters]

It would make me sad because I know personally that feeling this way is awful and I would not wish it on someone I cared about (or on anyone honestly, it's a uniquely horrible mindset to be in).

 

[Muach]

I'd be so sad that one is in such desperation and despair.

It's a blessing in disguise the chance to depart as early as possible from this messed up world

So i'll just hope that he/she will make peace with self in the end and find a comfy way to exit

 

[theboy]

mmm interesting question
I think I would talk to her on social networks and ask her how she feels, how her life is going, etc. but without telling her that I saw her on the forum

 

[Euthanza]

I'm cool, might consider going together if match the date.

 

[John-LW]

I found this place because I discovered 2 weeks ago my wife has posted here asking for help. She left me 3 weeks ago and I'm ready to die, she's made it so there is nothing I can do to help her now.

 

[Everlong]

I think it hits us so hard because only suicidal people can understand that level of pain and we empathize. We are not selfish. We all have our own reasons but it's pain manifested in the purest most potent form. I self sabotaging mind that fights the strongest urge known to any sentient being; SI.
I'm leaving because I truly believe they'll be better without my moods, depression, anger, mood shifts, etc.
No, we aren't selfish. We are the most compassionate and capable of empathy few others can share.
My .02

 

[Jimblue]

For me I don't need to worry about that. I have suicide pact agreement with my husband. If he want to die, he will tell me and we will plan our last day together.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I would be heartbroken that they ended up here.

 

[Angi]

I would be devastated to know they are suffering enough to consider suicide. I have yet to read about someone who does this for no reason. I would rather know than not know, I think.

 

[doesitreallymatter]

I understand others would be devastated. I'd wonder about going together with that person.

That was my first thought! Let's go together ! It might make the whole process less daunting.

 

[myfinalform]

i would never know like only if they use their real names, but theres no way all people that i know is happy with their life, they will never endup here in the first place, but answering the question i would feel cause its a chance to recconect to them

 

[Forever Sleep]

To an extent, it wouldn't surprise me if anyone told me they had suicidal thoughts. I actually find it more peculiar when people are shocked that people consider it.

Likewise, some of my closest friends have also had ideation and some have even attempted it. So, it wouldn't be a total shock if they were on here. That said, as far as I'm aware, they're making more effort trying to live.

Honestly, I feel like a bit of a monster. Maybe I'm just not that close to anyone anymore. I've barely seen anyone for years. All I can really think is that I'd agree with them too much to want to try and stop them. I'd feel sad but it's the same sadness I feel for everyone on here. We're all suffering through our lives against our wills and it's so cruel and tragic.

 

[earshurt]

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person I know that's a big enough freak to seek out a website like this.

Still, if I found out someone I love was on here, I'd understand. It's impossible to talk frankly about suicide anywhere else online, and therapy is expensive + has its limitations as well.

I'd be mildly embarrassed that my loved one would have seen my posts on here, but that's about it. Maybe we could bond over it.