How will people find out about my ctb?

[xLosthopex]

So I will ctb at home(I live with my parents) but I keep wondering how others in my life will find out because my parents don’t know my friends or have any contact details for them so how will others find out? I’m pretty sure the average young person doesn’t check the obituaries on a daily basis
Do the police go through your phone contacts or anything like that? Should I leave contact details in my note?

 

[sadworld]

I think when your friends are trying to contact you they'll eventually find out. A friend of mine died in elementary school and I found it out 2 weeks after it happened because no one told me and we weren't writing online... My other friends told me that he died because their parents had contact with his parents or something like that, I don't remember.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I think it depends on the manner of death and how a funeral is held.
With my SN plan because I’m gonna look blue, I don’t want a funeral and also because suicide is stigmatised for Asian parents, they will probably want to avoid one anyway, also I don’t have many friends so it doesn’t really matter.

I think for situations like suicide, it is better to hold a rememberance event for those left behind to properly grief.

I would request it as a suggestion in the will and perhaps list contact details of close friends who might grieve a little better by attending it.

 

[xLosthopex]

Do y’all think if I left a friends phone number in my note they(the cops or whoever) would contact them ?

 

[sadworld]

Do y’all think if I left a friends phone number in my note they(the cops or whoever) would contact them ?

I think so yeah, or you can write it on the note for your parents.

 

[Symbiote]

Do y’all think if I left a friends phone number in my note they(the cops or whoever) would contact them ?

Cops look for evidence of how and why you got to where you are mentally in a way that may be invasive for others. So yes the cops at the behest of your parents may conduct further analysis of your note, may contact your friend because they think your friend knew something about your intentions. If I was making a note, I wouldn't put any contact information or details. I don't want the after death guilt of having investigators pry into someone's private life thinking they helped in a death.

 

[botanormal]

It's a little bit different, but when my grandmother died my family went through her address book to find contact details of her friends. If you really want to make sure they find out, it might help to write down a note with their details on it. But if not, I'm sure they'll find out eventually. If you suddenly stop contacting them, they'll probably try to look into things and figure it out for themselves. News like this spreads pretty quickly in some areas, so if one person finds out, it might be more likely that many people will. Although if you want to be safe, it might be good to write down a note with their details. Somebody will use it to contact your friends, whether it be your parents or the police. Good luck with everything, no matter what you decide to do.

 

[WornOutLife]

If you want people to know about your CTB, just leave notes with your social networks passwords so that your parents or whoever can post about your death.

Also, leave your phone unlocked so they can call your contacts and I can assure you that just by calling a few friends, most people that know you, will also know about your death.

 

[AutoTap]

You can always set up a delayed email or text to them

 

[Neowise]

I would take letters to my friends with me when I ctb so when my body is found the letters will be found as well. There would be a note asking for whoever is reponsible for it to give the letters to them.
Delayed e-mails could also be an option as @AutoTap already said. Just make the software send the mails X hours after your planned death.

 

[justpeachy]

Do y’all think if I left a friends phone number in my note they(the cops or whoever) would contact them ?

A friend? Absolutely not. That’s not their job. It’s only their duty to contact next of kin and then it’s your families job to respect your wishes and contact any friends or family. You may want do send a delayed email to your friend if you think family won’t do what you are asking. No officer will contact anyone but your parents or spouse. If you are older and have no spouse then kids come next then parents then any other blood relative. But they won’t contact all of these people, just one person and it’s then their job to alert the rest of your lovrd ones.

 

[xLosthopex]

A friend? Absolutely not. That’s not their job. It’s only their duty to contact next of kin and then it’s your families job to respect your wishes and contact any friends or family. You may want do send a delayed email to your friend if you think family won’t do what you are asking. No officer will contact anyone but your parents or spouse. If you are older and have no spouse then kids come next then parents then any other blood relative. But they won’t contact all of these people, just one person and it’s then their job to alert the rest of your lovrd ones.

Well yes, the note is obviously for my parents but the cops are going to take that, I can only hope they return it once they’re finished the investigation

 

[justpeachy]

Cops look for evidence of how and why you got to where you are mentally in a way that may be invasive for others. So yes the cops at the behest of your parents may conduct further analysis of your note, may contact your friend because they think your friend knew something about your intentions. If I was making a note, I wouldn't put any contact information or details. I don't want the after death guilt of having investigators pry into someone's private life thinking they helped in a death.

If it’s a blatant enough suicide that there is a note left there would be very little investigation. I know this sounds harsh but they don’t care why you CTB, they just need to confirm that you did indeed do it. Your intentions aren’t their priority. The medical examiner will confirm the cause of death specifics but aside from a basic suicide investigation they won’t do much else if a note is left and the scene is a clear suicide. They may talk to people you live with but they will not start calling ppl in your suicide note unless they have suspicions of foul play. My previous job was working with police as a mental health professional so got to witness a lot of these types of events. We went out on every mental health call the officers were sent on and took lead.

 

[Darkhaven]

Well yes, the note is obviously for my parents but the cops are going to take that, I can only hope they return it once they’re finished the investigation

I intend on leaving a copy of the note.
One for the fam and another for the cops.

 

[xLosthopex]

I intend on leaving a copy of the note.
One for the fam and another for the cops.

Where will you leave the one for your parents ?

 

[Darkhaven]

Where will you leave the one for your parents ?

I'm thinking on keeping both with me.
But i will distinguish them from one another, in a way that the cops will know which is for them and which is for my mother.
I will also try to avoid the need for an autopsy, but i'm almost 100% sure that it won't matter to them.

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm thinking on keeping both with me.
But i will distinguish them from one another, in a way that the cops will know which is for them and which is for my mother.
I will also try to avoid the need for an autopsy, but i'm almost 100% sure that it won't matter to them.

They will take both. Unless the police don’t know about a note, and you leave it in a secret place that your parents will find on their own. Otherwise they will take any and every note that is there. And they may keep them for quite a long time before releasing them.

 

[Jumper Geo]

If you want your friends to know why not write a few letters and post them the afternoon on your chosen day/night or you could send a delayed e-mail.

Cheers

Geo

 

[Darkhaven]

They will take both. Unless the police don’t know about a note, and you leave it in a secret place that your parents will find on their own. Otherwise they will take any and every note that is there. And they may keep them for quite a long time before releasing them.

If the notes say exactly the same thing, what's the point of taking both copies?

 

[LastFlowers]

If the notes say exactly the same thing, what's the point of taking both copies?

They aren’t going to stand there and examine the copies over the dead body for any possible differing detail, they will do so at the station. The scene of a suicide is treated like the scene of a crime as they are still gathering evidence as to whether it really was a suicide or not. It’s part of the problem with the bigger picture of no sanctioned option, our privacy is invaded in death to a degree that does not occur for those dying naturally or in the hospital, a witnessed accident, etc. We are forced to have a question mark over our death, which invites invasive investigation. Devices will be taken, notes will be taken, it doesn’t matter if anything looks identical at first glance..it will still be taken.

I have been in contact with people who are there for the aftermath of a suicide and this is what happens. I wish more people would give their experience and knowledge if they have any on this subject, if they have a history involving a suicide and dealing with the authorities afterward, because people are obviously not informed enough when considering the inevitable police involvement.
They can keep notes for more than a year and read them before the designated recipient even gets a chance to, you could be buried in the ground before the people you intended to read your notes, do so. Copies or not.

 

[Darkhaven]

They aren’t going to stand there and examine the copies over the dead body for any possible differing detail, they will do so at the station. The scene of a suicide is treated like the scene of a crime as they are still gathering evidence as to whether it really was a suicide or not. It’s part of the problem with the bigger picture of no sanctioned option, our privacy is invaded in death to a degree that does not occur for those dying naturally or in the hospital, a witnessed accident, etc. We are forced to have a question mark over our death, which invites invasive investigation. Devices will be taken, notes will be taken, it doesn’t matter if anything looks identical at first glance..it will still be taken.

I have been in contact with people who are there for the aftermath of a suicide and this is what happens. I wish more people would give their experience and knowledge if they have any on this subject, if they have a history involving a suicide and dealing with the authorities afterward, because people are obviously not informed enough when considering the inevitable police involvement.
They can keep notes for more than a year and read them before the designated recipient even gets a chance to, you could be buried in the ground before the people you intended to read your notes, do so. Copies or not.

Well, i will leave it at home then.
I openly talk about suicide with my mother.
Just gotta tell her i will leave a note in a specific place of my bedroom.
Problem solved.

 

[Echo]

I would suggest a delayed email, as others have said- or you could post handwritten letters, in snail mail. It’ll get to your friends+ family at some point.. a few days later probably.
Then maybe your friends+ family could read them before the police get ahold of them?
Or do both- in case one way is somehow intercepted?
I am also planning and thinking about how to get my letters to people without having them confiscated and i am considering doing the delayed email/snail mail option.