how will i know when i’m ready

[bunnyloop]

i always think how i'll know when i'm ready to die. the thought of it is still so scary to me. whenever i'm having a breakdown or going through a hard time i want to kill myself so bad i look over at my drawer where my sn is and finally taking it out and using it. but it's not a method that should be done impulsively that's why there's a guide after all. i think when i'm really ready to go i'll feel a calmness in me and i won't cry. it's probably not good to say but i wish i had the same feelings towards death that really old ppl and terminally ill people have because they know it's coming soon no matter what and they can't stop it so they've just accepted it. i know i'll also die no matter what just like everyone else but unlike them i have a way to control how and when i die which is scary

 

[salviap]

I don't think there will be a definitive 'answer' or period of time rather that you'll decide on CTB'ing, but this is only from my personal account of things.
I view it similarly to this, it may be watered down or inaccurate, but is as follows:
the nature of CTB'ing, at least the full execution of it, is out of impulse, not rational decision. you could hypothetically construct a plan that would eventually ensure your death, but getting there takes an unholy amount of willpower and determination. if there were to be an era where you'd feel like it's time, it's probably within the range of feeling adamant about your decision. that 'impulsiveness' is the drive to actual death.
i know this is psychotic rambling, but the series of events that occur before actual death is quite interesting. i feel envy toward the people that do not have these overwhelming emotions of feeling stuck, or unable to go through with their plan(s).
being old and terminally ill naturally gives you the advantage of not being too scared for what's to come, i guess?
still, extreme jealously overwhelms me.

stay safe, i wish you only the best.

 

[caquico]

. if there were to be an era where you'd feel like it's time, it's probably within the range of feeling adamant about your decision. that 'impulsiveness' is the drive to actual death.

Yeah so there is no way of knowing you're ready? Like. I'm waiting for my closest relatives who are really old to die so i can CTB. But do you think even if i plan it out thoroughly only impulsiveness can bring me to do it? After they die i wont have anything in my life and even the tought of living after that scares me. I just want idk a confirmation that if i plan it and really stick to it i can do it you know...