Yes they do I'm thinking of going to a quiet station that most trains skip so it doesn't slow
Don't listen to others who are judging you. If this is the best and most comfortable way you feel about taking your life then you do what you want.
I agree. I don't understand why a train conductor would blame themselves either. It's not as if they're driving a car and aiming for the person.
It's not about blame. Have you ever had a job? Say for example you worked at McDonalds. Let's say it's a drive thru. "Please collect your order at the next window"
" Thank you Sir that's $11.99"
SPLATTT.
160lb of human remains hits your pay window. Without warning. You were expecting $11.99. It's not your fault, but it's not what you signed up for, you dont deserve this trauma and hell, if you have an iota of empathy in your soul, you're not going to close your eyes without seeing that for several years.
What sort of an asshole would drag a, as far as you know, otherwise happy human being into their personal nightmare because somehow they have arrived at the the conclusion you can just 'do whatever you want'?
I'd caution that this line of thinking is flawed, unless you're a psychopath in which case you may want to revise your thinking anyway.
Other people matter. They just do.