How to stop thinking about family and friends when considering CTB?

[cyandude]

This is my main issue, if I were to CTB they would be left with such a great impact I don't know if they would be able to continue their lives. I don't wanna bring people along with me, they're fine with this world, I'm the one with issues. Why do other people have to suffer so greatly for one's death? It sucks dude.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just think about how everyone is going to die anyway and eventually most very likely won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, they will just be forgotten about. This existence disappearing into nothingness is all that's inevitable and it isn't like anyone can suffer from not-existing.

 

[butternutsquash]

This is my main issue, if I were to CTB they would be left with such a great impact I don't know if they would be able to continue their lives. I don't wanna bring people along with me, they're fine with this world, I'm the one with issues. Why do other people have to suffer so greatly for one's death? It sucks dude.

Depends. If you're genuinely going to ctb and have no intentions of ever changing your mind, you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that you WILL hurt others. There's no easy way of saying it. People will feel hurt. They will feel betrayed. They will cry and grieve. You are going to have to learn to shoulder that burden, there's no easy way to say it.

If you are going to commit to this but want to minimize the pain as much as possible (you won't and can't prevent it entirely), you might have to start pushing people away. Give people a reason to want nothing to do with you. Burn bridges. If they hate you and want nothing to do with you, your death will hurt less and you'll be protecting them as best as you can.

Don't get me wrong. I'm only saying do this if you are genuinely going to ctb and not back out whatsoever. You are going to hurt them regardless when you die. If you can't handle that guilt then DONT ctb. Wait a bit longer. Try to work through it and recover. Live for them. All I'm saying is that unless you are willing to hurt those around you, you aren't ready. If you can't bring yourself to push them away and hurt their feelings now then you aren't adequately prepared for putting them through the real thing. It sucks. You don't want to hurt the people that care about you and, trust me, I don't want to hurt the people in my life either. But thats the cost.

 

[nature]

I just think about how everyone is going to die anyway and eventually most very likely won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, they will just be forgotten about. This existence disappearing into nothingness is all that's inevitable and it isn't like anyone can suffer from not-existing.

Do you think it's normal to disregard their feelings in the matter once you are so far through the revolving door of wanting to CTB. I think more about making it clear that the evil world around me including them prompted my actions and the prevention of a wide scale investigation into my personal life opposed to their breakdown as a result of said actions. Potentially this just comes after an array of bad family experiences

 

[cyandude]

But thats the cost.

indeed. i'll try to lessen the hurt for those who will remain with the living by writing a CTB note addressing and thanking every important person in my life for what they have done for me, and that they haven't failed me in any way and that they should be guiltless. but it will still hurt a lot and leave a hole in everyone unfortunate enough to be around me's lives.