How to recover from internet addiction

[WPeregrine]

I have a serious problem with the internet... I've struggled with it basically ever since my teenage years (I'm now 36), when my dad made the only real mistake in my upbringing, allowing me to have our old PC in my room (as opposed to supervised in our living room)... I have become aware that this is a real problem for me, since about 10 years now. I've taken a lot of steps to try and get a grip on the problem, and on the surface it probably doesn't look so terrible anymore, but it is still disrupting my life, and I hate how impossible it seems to get my shit together.

I've long since deleted my social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram, Reddit - though the latter I've returned and deleted multiple times). Discord became a thing later as well, but I've abandoned that too since the last half year. TikTok blessedly I knew to stay away from when that entered the scene.

Gaming I've never really done on PC; phone games I did manage to quit.

I got a tiny 3" smartphone to curb my problems with that device (which was actually reasonably succesful, but the screen time is now just moved to my laptop).

I have set my browser to delete all tabs and browsing data on closing, so I cannot start where I left off the day before, and need to log in again to each account every time, which does help a bit, but its not quite enough.

My current online activities seem relatively innocent on the surface - basically only hobby/interest forums, which are a wealth of knowledge which makes them valuable; but the social part of it is extremely addictive for me, and can litterally keep me engaged for hours on end, to the point of endlessly refreshing pages to see if there's any reactions on my posts etc. Reddit remains dangerous for the same reasons, and I've one month ago deleted yet another new account... And to be honest, I have mixed feelings on registering here as well for that reason...

YouTube is a struggle as well sometimes, but turning off my search history and unsubscribing from all channels has tamed it a bit. When I open it now there's just a blank page and no notifications, which does stop me in my tracks. But when I get linked to YouTube from somewhere else, there's still a list of suggested videos to send me spiraling down, so it still happens from time to time.

Sometimes online shopping is a problem - not in the sense that I often buy unneccesary things (not anymore at least), but I tend to get obsessive when I need something new that is more involved than a pair of socks (although, even a pair of socks once sent me down a rabbithole), researching for days till deep in the night to find the best brand/model/whatever.

And lastly, porn is also part of it ofcourse, though its honestly not really what keeps me glued to the screen for long times (when I'm done I'm usually done for a day or 2), but it is often the lure that gets me to fire up the laptop in the first place.

By themselves all not very problematic activities (except for porn maybe one could argue), but I get lost in it to a degree that is disfunctional. I often order food instead of cooking, eventhough my fridge is stocked, simply because I'm browsing the web, and interrupting that to cook a healthy and tasty dinner is too much effort in that moment. If I do manage to cook, I usually get drawn straight back into whatever I was browsing, eating my meal behind the computer, and then neglecting the dishes. And then depending on my state of mind, I might go on till deep in the night and loose sleep. There's many creative ideas that never become reality because of this. I sometimes say no to outings, or skip sports classes. I neglect my chores and my household is frequently a gross mess (though I luckily still have that threshold where even I cannot live with the mess anymore and cleaning up just has to happen). Even the attempt to start my own full time business failed, in part due to this addiction. And all the goals I have currently set myself, are basically falling apart because I distract myself online.

On days that I manage to leave the computer and my phone off for a good part of the day, I'm invariably 10x more productive, and feel much happier in general. If I could throw those devices out the window I would in an instant!! But, as I'm still doing some free lance projects every now and then, I'm dependent on my laptop... And in September I'll be starting a new job, which is 100% working from home, cementing the damn device even more into my life. And I fear that, being on my PC working from home, will mean my addictive behaviors will be even more difficult to control...

I have tried to discipline myself in the past. For example by limiting my PC time to only after having finished the dishes after dinner. For so long as I manage that, life is bliss. But it usually fails after at most a week, whenever I've had a stressful day, or slept bad, or am sick, or whatever other mood that disrupts normal routine - I will fall back into the addictive behavoir, stay up till way aftefr bedtime - and then next day waking up tired, which kills the remainder of discipline, and I'm back to square one... Any variation on that kind of strategy, has always failed in the same manner, for as many times as I have tried it...

I have tried blocking certain websites through opendns, but that's easy to circumvent if you're the one setting it up in the first place.

I have tried banning my laptop from the living room. But that after some time just means my office room becomes the living room, which is even worse.


Earlier today I wrote another post on here, about not seeing the point in life, and considering just ending it... I realize now that one important reason why I don't see the point in life, is that all my dreams do not even have any chance of becoming reality, because I'm cought up in this addictive behavior. I'll never have that motivation for living life, so long as I'm just distracting myself with that internet addiction. Its a life without agency; anything I do, I do because others require it, or just to survive; for anything else I don't have motivation, because the addiction sucks it out of me.

Pleae help! How do I get my shit together, when I cannot just throw out my computer, like an alcoholic would throw out their booze! I realize getting rid of the addictive substance is only one half of the solution, but it just seems impossible if that is not even an option as it is with my PC. I've tried everything I can think of in the past 10 years... I truly feel I should not allow this to be the thing that ultimately drives me to CTB... but I'm at a loss...

 

[iguazo falls]

yeah i hear you, it takes a toll on you, and the feeling of wasting your time just sucks. i wish i had more to say but i am in an adjacent sort of boat where i have gotten rid of social media but find myself online instead of doing literally anything else when i don't really enjoy it. while i haven't solved the crux of the problem, something that helped me cut down significantly and at least allow my browsing to be self directed is use the browser extension ublock to block instances of algorithms. i went from using youtube all day to barely a few times a week, and i don't look at random reddit stuff. you sound like someone who has put in a massive amount of effort though (way more than myself!!), and in a world where most are glued to tiktok and whatnot and its treated as weird when you don't have social media, i hope you can feel proud of yourself for the progress you have made.

 

[nayomi]

use app that limit use of some apps per day

 

[WPeregrine]

yeah i hear you, it takes a toll on you, and the feeling of wasting your time just sucks. i wish i had more to say but i am in an adjacent sort of boat where i have gotten rid of social media but find myself online instead of doing literally anything else when i don't really enjoy it. while i haven't solved the crux of the problem, something that helped me cut down significantly and at least allow my browsing to be self directed is use the browser extension ublock to block instances of algorithms. i went from using youtube all day to barely a few times a week, and i don't look at random reddit stuff. you sound like someone who has put in a massive amount of effort though (way more than myself!!), and in a world where most are glued to tiktok and whatnot and its treated as weird when you don't have social media, i hope you can feel proud of yourself for the progress you have made.

I do use ublock for ads. What do you mean when you say "instances of algorithms"? How does that work? I didn't honestly look very deep into the capabilities of ublock, I was already plenty happy that it got rid of ads through youtube videos.

Yeah, I am sorta proud of where I stand with phones/social media/etc compared to 90% of society, but also very frustrated that most of those people seem to be able to have a functioning life despite having no brakes on their screen time, while I'm disfunctional despite my great efforts trying to get it under control...

use app that limit use of some apps per day

Not really a solution for many reasons. First of all, its a solution thats very easy to work around. But more importantly, I've already found better solutions to get my phone screen time under control. The real problem is the laptop, where all the addictive stuff goes through the browser, but so does all the necessary stuff... Using OpenDNS to block specific sites is the equivalent of an app blocker on a smartphone, and its ineffective for the same reason, as you can just turn it off when the urge is there...


Honestly though, I'm not really looking for technical solutions, I've already done a lot on that side, and my experience is that I'll just find new ways to distract myself using the computer / phone. Outside of just getting rid of the devices, I think I've already pretty much made them as unaddictive as I possibly can on the technical side of things, without making it unworkable for the necessary stuff.
I think I need more help on the behavioral side of things. How do I improve my mindset/habits/motivation/etc. in relation to addiction. Someone with experience with other types of behavioral addictions might be able to chime in, I don't think the vice itself really matters here (physical dependencies aside).

 

[iguazo falls]

I do use ublock for ads. What do you mean when you say "instances of algorithms"? How does that work? I didn't honestly look very deep into the capabilities of ublock, I was already plenty happy that it got rid of ads through youtube videos.

if you click on the extension itself, you can select the picker icon. when you do that, you can aim your cursor around and block elements you don't want. i use this to get rid of the reccomended videos containers in the homepage, on videos, and whatever one shows when a video ends. i also use it to get rid of ai summaries, and reccomended reddit posts.

How do I improve my mindset/habits/motivation/etc. in relation to addiction. Someone with experience with other types of behavioral addictions might be able to chime in, I don't think the vice itself really matters here (physical dependencies aside).

hmm i know this sounds cliche, but theres a book called "atomic habits". its been fairly useful for me to form positive habits. it just breaks stuff down and gives you a fresher perspective on habits. you've already added friction to the things you don't want to do, so maybe reducing friction towards the things you enjoy or have responsibility for like projects, or cleaning your home. theres hella free pdfs online of it.

in my experience with other addictions too its important to decenter it. like finding other reasons to do something (even if that reason is to have a routine) other than just to use the internet after completing xyz. and another personal tip that may or may not work with you as well is while limiting the internets addictive stuff and algorithms is good; placing too much emphasis throughout your day on not using it or never using it again is kind of centering it. i'd have this issue with SH and drugs where if i had set an arbitary deadline for me to not use again ever i would just binge whatever i was doing. where as if i know i'll probably always want to do the thing regardless, i just have a stash and somehow i will go long periods without touching it bc i know its at least there and won't run out. i just find other stuff to do or don't feel as compelled to turn to that all the time.

i think your next steps are experimenting outside of just limiting your use and finding ways to draw yourself into different routines and towards what else you wanna do. try crazy things, often the real answer is something only you can think up of, and it will be the real answer because you are working with yourself and your strengths rather than against. best of luck!!

 

[limenlux]

Have you considered taking up a hobby that doesn't require access to the internet? Reading physical books, tabletop games, jigsaw puzzles, etc.? Conditioning your brain to derive pleasure from something (non-harmful) other than your laptop might help alleviate some of your issues in addition to the other suggestions on offer.

 

[WPeregrine]

Have you considered taking up a hobby that doesn't require access to the internet? Reading physical books, tabletop games, jigsaw puzzles, etc.? Conditioning your brain to derive pleasure from something (non-harmful) other than your laptop might help alleviate some of your issues in addition to the other suggestions on offer.

Yeah this is a good one, and I do have physical hobbies that don't involve the internet - accordion, motorcycle, reading - but it also has a flip side: hobby forums Which I've mentioned, is one of the main things that actually sends me down that spiral. I've unsubscribed from all YouTube channels related to those hobbies, but ditching those forums feels not right. They really are a double edged sword... They are an invaluable resource, and at the same time very addictive to me. Perhaps I should treat them just as a passive resource, looking for information, but not participating with an account - but I feel very reluctant giving that up, it's also a community I'm part of. If I could limit myself to just check the forums on a specific time of day, say after the dishes at night, it'd not be problematic and I'd not lose any value. But I find myself checking for new messages throughout the day.
Same for this forum btw, what the hell am I doing writing this reply during my breakfast? It just means my breakfast stretches longer than it needs to, I might skip my shower because I ran out of time, and if I do have the time this often just turns into me looking up from my screen when I feel hungry, realizing it's lunch time already and I've wasted my entire morning on my screen...



I've always enjoyed reading, but it happens in bursts. I did just set myself a reading goal for the remainder of this year, of 2-3 books per month. I've never used a reading goal before, so perhaps that'll help me to make it more consistent, rather than the occasional binge. Picking up the Kindle is a very similar action as picking up the laptop/phone, so I hope my reading goal will help me to swap those habits. So far it seems to have helped a bit, we'll see how it works long term.

View attachment 205663
if you click on the extension itself, you can select the picker icon. when you do that, you can aim your cursor around and block elements you don't want. i use this to get rid of the reccomended videos containers in the homepage, on videos, and whatever one shows when a video ends. i also use it to get rid of ai summaries, and reccomended reddit posts.


hmm i know this sounds cliche, but theres a book called "atomic habits". its been fairly useful for me to form positive habits. it just breaks stuff down and gives you a fresher perspective on habits. you've already added friction to the things you don't want to do, so maybe reducing friction towards the things you enjoy or have responsibility for like projects, or cleaning your home. theres hella free pdfs online of it.

in my experience with other addictions too its important to decenter it. like finding other reasons to do something (even if that reason is to have a routine) other than just to use the internet after completing xyz. and another personal tip that may or may not work with you as well is while limiting the internets addictive stuff and algorithms is good; placing too much emphasis throughout your day on not using it or never using it again is kind of centering it. i'd have this issue with SH and drugs where if i had set an arbitary deadline for me to not use again ever i would just binge whatever i was doing. where as if i know i'll probably always want to do the thing regardless, i just have a stash and somehow i will go long periods without touching it bc i know its at least there and won't run out. i just find other stuff to do or don't feel as compelled to turn to that all the time.

i think your next steps are experimenting outside of just limiting your use and finding ways to draw yourself into different routines and towards what else you wanna do. try crazy things, often the real answer is something only you can think up of, and it will be the real answer because you are working with yourself and your strengths rather than against. best of luck!!

Perfect thanks. That could really help with YouTube. It's one of those places that has value, but once I'm on there it's very easy to get lost for hours and hours. If I lose sleep over my addiction, 90% of time it's YouTube...
Of course it's easy to turn off ublock if the urge is really strong, so we'll see how effective it ends up being, but I'm sure it will at least help part of the time.

 

[hughmun9]

I want to get rid of my internet addiction too but what to replace it with? There's 16 hours in the day not counting sleep, I would need something to do all day

 

[StillLife]

You talking about the Unihertz Jelly Star being your mini smartphone?

I just got one of those and I am LOVING it. It's taken some time to get used to it from being a strictly flagship premium smartphone user since 2018.
I still use my damaged flagships for games like Brawl Stars and videos.

For me, what's stopped me from being terminally-online was simply the rapid decline of the Internet the past couple of years.
YouTube is my final vice, and it's content overall has become formulaic(for the algorithms) and infested with needless AI influence(ai-assisted scripts are rampant and you'll be able to spot them easily eventually, no matter the niche) causing me to cut down on that naturally.

Now I'm left with more free time than I know what to do with...

 

[WPeregrine]

You talking about the Unihertz Jelly Star being your mini smartphone?

I just got one of those and I am LOVING it. It's taken some time to get used to it from being a strictly flagship premium smartphone user since 2018.
I still use my damaged flagships for games like Brawl Stars and videos.

For me, what's stopped me from being terminally-online was simply the rapid decline of the Internet the past couple of years.
YouTube is my final vice, and it's content overall has become formulaic(for the algorithms) and infested with needless AI influence(ai-assisted scripts are rampant and you'll be able to spot them easily eventually, no matter the niche) causing me to cut down on that naturally.

Now I'm left with more free time than I know what to do with...

Jelly 2 actually. After 5 years I just recently replaced it with a Lagenio Eagle Pro, because the jelly was on its last legs. It has a 4" screen rather than the 3" of the jelly, which makes it a little less ideal from the addiction perspective, but still small enough. Bulky phone otherwise though, it's great for motorcycle navigation, but I did much prefer the small Jelly form factor. If the Jelly Star came with a more recent Android version (the promised an update to 16, but didn't follow through), I'd have gone with that. But the Lagenio has its advantages too.

I want to get rid of my internet addiction too but what to replace it with? There's 16 hours in the day not counting sleep, I would need something to do all day

I have dreams and goals that are getting nowhere because I'm just wasting time on my screen... So there's plenty things I can think to do. But the screen is like a motivation leach.

If you've got nothing to work towards, you've got no reason to beat an addiction. I ended up on this forum because I've got something to work towards that's getting nowhere because of this addiction - and it's not the first time at all that a goal get nowhere because of it - and repeatedly failing to execute every single dream or goal, because of my own dysfunctional behavior, just makes life not worth living.

But I don't know, something about researching CTB methods, seems to have awakened a sense of "I need to fucking fix this addiction for real now", or at least give it a serious final attempt, before calling it quits for good.

 

[DeusVult]

I am trying to break the curse as well, and what seems to be working as a solution is being creative, finding a task on the computer to do that is actually productive and enjoyable for you to do. E.g. building some app or website. This channels your spent time towards something meaningful and fulfilling.

 

[WPeregrine]

I am trying to break the curse as well, and what seems to be working as a solution is being creative, finding a task on the computer to do that is actually productive and enjoyable for you to do. E.g. building some app or website. This channels your spent time towards something meaningful and fulfilling.

I've done digital hobby projects like that, but it honestly just makes things worse for me. It gives me more reason to be behind a screen, not less. And when I'm done working on the project, having the screen open just means I'd dive right back into the addictive shit. It only aids in neglecting my household / healthy meals / personal hygiene; and in feeling only more detached from physical reality.

Honestly, I think that that is what the internet is for me, an escape from physical reality. But realizing my dreams, creating a life worth living, takes place in the real world, not in the digital realm (to me at least). So escaping into the digital world only removes me farther from the things that make life worth living; it only feeds that feeling of pointlessness in life.

I hear what you're saying though. Making the digital life meaningful and fulfilling, is a way to flip the narrative. But I don't see that as a life I would want to live personally.

 

[notthatclever]

You can't.. just embrace it.. lol.. the world sucks too much and there is nothing to do because we're priced out of everything or the Trump administration sucked the fun out of everything.. so internet and tv it is.. I mean half of America is lying to themselves they can afford their car or gas for their car.. concert tickets are at an all time low because nobody can afford to go.. life is beyond miserable.. and who wants to go an empty concert anyways.. and is there beer at that concert.. well you'll have to jump through hoops because of Trump for that.. you can only be a blonde hair blue eyed church goer now.. because that's soooo much fun.. yeah spend the rest of our lives telling us how every little thing about us is sending us to hell.. anyways.. not to be political or anything.. but that's a huge reason why everybody is just zombies into the internets.. nothing else to do.. and most of America isn't as religious as they play.. it's not like all the people bitchin have their ass parked in a pew.. not to mention biggest hypocrites I've ever seen.. you can't even see a movie without spending 50-100 bucks.. it's insane.. we're priced out of everything..

 

[StarsAbove]

Its hard. I struggle for sure but adding things into my routine like exercise, especially group fitness classes help, reading, going to MeetUps, and hiking. My job helps tp a degree, but I am still online before and after work, amd I stare at a computer screen all day for work so I know its extra detrimental. I have also heard of setting designated times for when you want to go online and writing down what you want to look up at that time and sticking with it helps. Never tried it though.