Help how to overcome the instinct of survival?

[jupiterdeadstar]

My method is to jump from a high place or Ligature Strangulation. But at the moment of doing it, my body feels sleepy or simply doesn't move.

Yesterday I tried to jump but I couldn't get up from the ground (in the high place), I felt very sleepy and felt that my body didn't want to move, I admit that I cried a little...

 

[Shadows From Hell]

SI kicks in no matter what. It's your body's fight for survival mechanism.

Nothing to be ashamed of.