Help How to overcome SI after a failed attempt

[finalmission]

A few months ago I tried to ctb via partial hanging however I woke up due to my survival instinct waking me up after blacking out

The best way to describe it is like my brain playing a scary dream to wake me up.

I want to attempt to ctb with this method again because I almost succeeded in it, however its far more difficult to get over SI after that attempt.

 

[Nocturna]

Hi, this is my first comment so it will not be very helpful but I try my best. I really understand you, its so hard recovering from an attempt, its literally so scary.

 

[finalmission]

bump

 

[offbalance]

idk if this is any help at all but I'm going to use benzos to quiet my survival instinct. I'm going with SN not hanging though

 

[finalmission]

idk if this is any help at all but I'm going to use benzos to quiet my survival instinct. I'm going with SN not hanging though

I did some research and they require prescription to get them where I live.
I was hoping there were easier solutions.

 

[offbalance]

I did some research and they require prescription to get them where I live.
I was hoping there were easier solutions.

Yeah I hear you, you can order them off the dark web if you know what you're doing to keep yourself safe and anonymous. There's guides out there, and it's pretty easy when you get the hang of it. But I understand if you don't wanna risk that. Besides that my suggestion is alcohol, and going over the reasons in your head why you have lost hope. SI thrives on hope. But there's also no shame in backing out if you're truly not ready, I don't want to be encouraging anything

 

[finalmission]

Yeah I hear you, you can order them off the dark web if you know what you're doing to keep yourself safe and anonymous. There's guides out there, and it's pretty easy when you get the hang of it. But I understand if you don't wanna risk that. Besides that my suggestion is alcohol, and going over the reasons in your head why you have lost hope. SI thrives on hope. But there's also no shame in backing out if you're truly not ready, I don't want to be encouraging anything

Dont worry you are not encouraging anything :)

In my past attempt, I was certain i wanted to die but still i had to fight with my survival instinct to get myself unconscious. And that has not changed at all.

 

[offbalance]

Dont worry you are not encouraging anything :)

In my past attempt, I was certain i wanted to die but still i had to fight with my survival instinct to get myself unconscious. And that has not changed at all.

Yeah SI can be stubborn… one thing that helps me is instead of saying "why me" is "why not me?" thousands and thousands of people commit suicide each year, why shouldn't I be part of that number? An accepting of fate of sorts. But yeah hope doesn't necessarily leave when you want it to. It's kind of got its own timeline

 

[looking4partner]

idk if this is any help at all but I'm going to use benzos to quiet my survival instinct. I'm going with SN not hanging though

Benzos have never helped my fear symptoms and actually made one of my terrifying diagnoses worse.

I also have a fear of them due to PTSD from psychiatric medication withdrawal effects

 

[madameviolette]

Benzos have never helped my fear symptoms and actually made one of my terrifying diagnoses worse.

I also have a fear of them due to PTSD from psychiatric medication withdrawal effects

What kind of diagnosis did benzo make worse ?

 

[Off_Switch]

idk if this is any help at all but I'm going to use benzos to quiet my survival instinct. I'm going with SN not hanging though

Have you ever done benzos before? If so, what kind? And did you feel like they significanlty lower SI? Do you recommend supplenting with hard liquor as well?

 

[offbalance]

Have you ever done benzos before? If so, what kind? And did you feel like they significanlty lower SI? Do you recommend supplenting with hard liquor as well?

Xanax and I just got them, I am experimenting with them to see how much I need to take to lower SI. One pill doesn't really do that on its own, but then again the PPH recommends ten pills.

You could supplement with hard liquor (not if you're doing SN though cuz you'll throw up) but it might make you feel okay and not want to kill yourself. That's why you have to experiment first before attempting.