N

NewtoEarth

Member
Feb 20, 2024
8
How do I open up to people without risking this? I'm quite unstable sometimes and it's really hard not to spill any and all things to friends, especially online.

They know my address. I accidentally let some stuff slip (feeling particularly apathetic at the moment) and I'm worried they will call the police, they are reactionary like that. I'm really not going to do anything but they don't trust me and I'm really scared of getting put in a ward. I tried to calm down and speak logically and assure them but my heart is going a million miles an hour, I don't think they're even listening to me. None of my family knows about any of this and I think it would be a devastating blow to the already rocky relationship I have there.

Edit: reformatted into English bc what the hell was that. I got very nervous. I don't think I'm at risk I might have defused the situation but still! How the hell am I supposed to go about this confiding business? People are so touchy about the subject I feel like I'm tap-dancing through a field of land mines.
 
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Oliver

Oliver

Experienced
Feb 28, 2024
235
You are not going to be put in a psych ward from being suicidal. It's not a crime to be suicidal. You really shouldn't be that worried. If you want to talk to someone and want to try to get better, then you should do so.

Best of luck.
 
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atpeace2024

New Member
Jan 13, 2024
2
You are not going to be put in a psych ward from being suicidal. It's not a crime to be suicidal. You really shouldn't be that worried. If you want to talk to someone and want to try to get better, then you should do so.

Best of luck.

In america it is a crime to commit suicide. they will put you in a cell if someone believes you to be suicidal. Speaking from experience. If you dont want to be put in a ward, don't call a crisis hotline.
 
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Redleaf1992

Redleaf1992

Just leave us the f*ck alone!
Feb 3, 2024
209
I think this depends on the country you live. My understanding for the UK (where I live) this won't happen unless you are a immediate danger - intent and means.

I'm fairly open when I speak to my therapist and peer mentor support, but when it comes to suicide I just tell them I have ideations. I won't mention my sodium nirite or loose plans to CBT in a couple weeks. Which means I feel safe from repercussions. This may be different for your county ofc.

That said I broke down on Monday with the Peer Mentor (without mentioning suicide) and I got the 'you are important' speech and suggested it would be worth her getting me reaccesed for 'additional support'. So perhaps be carful not to get too emotional or they might cotton on anyway.
 
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Oliver

Oliver

Experienced
Feb 28, 2024
235
In america it is a crime to commit suicide. they will put you in a cell if someone believes you to be suicidal. Speaking from experience. If you dont want to be put in a ward, don't call a crisis hotline.
It's not a crime? what? That can't be true. Anyhow, that sounds crazy. Will they really put you in a psych ward for being suicidal? That's messed up...
After my suicide attempt I had to speak to a doctor and a psychiatrist in a psych ward for a about 45 minutes. After that they asked me, if I thought it would help my situation, if I stayed there for a couple days, and I said no, since the place scared me. Maybe I should have stayed there, looking back on it all. It just didn't seem "appealing". Many legit crazy people in a place like that, which you most likely wouldn't feel comfortable around.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,009
they can't take you there against your will
 
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deathslament

Student
Mar 16, 2024
149
In america it is a crime to commit suicide. they will put you in a cell if someone believes you to be suicidal. Speaking from experience. If you dont want to be put in a ward, don't call a crisis hotline.

No the fuck it's not. Don't know what realm you came from, but it's not.
It is mandated from such reported if it is "known" that you will do it in their view, etc. whatever.
Stupid either way.
 
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penguinl0v3s

penguinl0v3s

Wait for Me 💙
Nov 1, 2023
794
How do I open up to people without risking this? I'm quite unstable sometimes and it's really hard not to spill any and all things to friends, especially online.

They know my address. I accidentally let some stuff slip (feeling particularly apathetic at the moment) and I'm worried they will call the police, they are reactionary like that. I'm really not going to do anything but they don't trust me and I'm really scared of getting put in a ward. I tried to calm down and speak logically and assure them but my heart is going a million miles an hour, I don't think they're even listening to me. None of my family knows about any of this and I think it would be a devastating blow to the already rocky relationship I have there.

Edit: reformatted into English bc what the hell was that. I got very nervous. I don't think I'm at risk I might have defused the situation but still! How the hell am I supposed to go about this confiding business? People are so touchy about the subject I feel like I'm tap-dancing through a field of land mines.
Even if they know your address can your online identity be linked to irl? If not then you can deny it's you if the police show up.
 
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deathslament

Student
Mar 16, 2024
149
Even if they know your address can your online identity be linked to irl? If not then you can deny it's you if the police show up.

Only if you stupidly put it out there.
 
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Young.Werther

Student
Apr 11, 2023
145
they can't take you there against your will
They absolutely can. It's called involuntary for a reason.

No the fuck it's not. Don't know what realm you came from, but it's not.
It is mandated from such reported if it is "known" that you will do it in their view, etc. whatever.
Stupid either way.
It's not technically a crime, but they will lock you up (in a hospital) if you try. It is a crime to assist someone, which along with the fact that they will lock you up is indicative of how society treats it.
 
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biasedregret

Member
Feb 23, 2024
48
If you need to talk to someone and don't want any entanglements with law enforcement agencies, I recommend calling a warmline: https://warmline.org/ (not sure if you're US-based or not, but I'm sure a similar concept exists in most countries).
 
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Moonomyth

Student
Feb 6, 2020
195
Unfortunately, how likely you are to be placed in a ward if you let something slip relies too much on the other person to really gauge. Most places in theory are supposed to avoid placing you in confinement unless you demonstrate that you have both the intent and the plan to ctb, but in practice there are a lot of judgment calls that get made about this:

  1. If the person you vented to calls the authorities, they may exaggerate the situation to ensure somebody is sent as a wellness check.
  2. If a wellness check is sent in the US, it's most typically the police, who would rather err on the side of caution and presume you need to be placed in temporary observation.
  3. In temporary observation, unless you are very good at convincing the observing staff that you are doing better now, they may also err on the side of caution and put you in a general ward for a longer stay.
So it really depends on the behavior of everybody at each step of the process and how effective you are at staying calm, but a lot of it is out of your direct hands.
 
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UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
It's not a crime to kill yourself in most western countries despite what some have said. The right to die is universal too, no age limits etc.

As for being locked up, it all depends on what you say. If you tell people you are going to CTB they have a duty to put you in medical care.
 
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murderatruemorgue

murderatruemorgue

Member
Feb 17, 2024
44
I have been involuntarily admitted in the US for:

1) trying to talk to a friend about my SI, they called for a wellness check, the police tracked me to a store parking lot and involuntarily admitted me.

2) a therapist I had been seeing for a while tried to have me involuntarily admitted just from the obligatory"mental health" questions during a doctors visit. I hadn't admitted to even any ideation and it wasn't even an appointment with her. The only reason I wasn't admitted? They held me at their office waiting for me to be picked up by the ambulance (you get two choices for involuntary: police or ambulance.) I was there from 10-6 and they still hadn't picked me up by the time the office closed so they let me go. Didn't have me follow up when they opened or anything. Therapist had burned that bridge with me so I never went back.

Hotlines will absolutely call wellness check if they "think" you're at risk. What that means is up to them.

The sad part of all this is the people with SI have nowhere to turn. They can't be honest, even when it's only SI, about what they're dealing with.

There are very few hotlines/warmlines in the US that aren't mandatory reporters. So if you call, check their website first. You can usually tell when they start fishing for if you're actively going to CTB.

As for friends? I've tried talking about it with friends and family for years. It never helps and often actively harms. "Suicide Awareness," what a joke. I'm to the point where I roll my eyes every time someone posts the hotline during awareness month. Most people just want to seem like they care.
 
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NewtoEarth

Member
Feb 20, 2024
8
If the person you vented to calls the authorities, they may exaggerate the situation to ensure somebody is sent as a wellness check.

This is what I'm most worried about. The people in question already tend to have selective hearing, I don't doubt they would exaggerate it. Ugh! Why can't people just listen and not jump to action!

In temporary observation, unless you are very good at convincing the observing staff that you are doing better now, they may also err on the side of caution and put you in a general ward for a longer stay.

I am in the US, but one thing I have going for me is that I have not exhibited "problematic" behavior before, so I suppose my best bet would be to act as normal as possible? Maybe try to convince them it's some sort of joke or foul play from "online friends." I am not too worried about said friends getting in trouble for it, since I don't let their personal information slip to others and it's not stored anywhere.

1) trying to talk to a friend about my SI, they called for a wellness check, the police tracked me to a store parking lot and involuntarily admitted me.

2) a therapist I had been seeing for a while tried to have me involuntarily admitted just from the obligatory "mental health" questions during a doctors visit. I hadn't admitted to even any ideation and it wasn't even an appointment with her. The only reason I wasn't admitted? They held me at their office waiting for me to be picked up by the ambulance (you get two choices for involuntary: police or ambulance.) I was there from 10-6 and they still hadn't picked me up by the time the office closed so they let me go. Didn't have me follow up when they opened or anything. Therapist had burned that bridge with me so I never went back.

Hotlines will absolutely call wellness check if they "think" you're at risk. What that means is up to them.

The sad part of all this is the people with SI have nowhere to turn. They can't be honest, even when it's only SI, about what they're dealing with.

There are very few hotlines/warmlines in the US that aren't mandatory reporters. So if you call, check their website first. You can usually tell when they start fishing for if you're actively going to CTB.

As for friends? I've tried talking about it with friends and family for years. It never helps and often actively harms. "Suicide Awareness," what a joke. I'm to the point where I roll my eyes every time someone posts the hotline during awareness month. Most people just want to seem like they care.

I hate that this is all true. Hotlines are a joke, to me. I've never been honest with any therapist because I'm terrified I'll get locked up somewhere. I know they're just listening for keywords... Same with friends and family. They stop hearing and start reacting as soon as they encounter any of it. I have to stop letting things slip when I'm in the throes of (or have a lack of) emotion, because I'm going to dig myself into a hole. No wonder so many people catch the bus "out of the blue." When it's treated like a crime, why would they confess to it?



Thank you to everyone here who responded. It was a sketchy situation but I'm good for now. Lesson learned, hopefully. I wish there was other ways to go about this but hey, I guess that's what this site is for.
 
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