UnworthyOfLife
New Member
- Jan 21, 2024
- 1
Long time lurker, first time poster here.
A quick summary of me:
I think I've hade suicidal thoughts since I was 10 or something. I'm from a very small settlement and was bullied by pretty much everyone when I was a kid. I guess I was that weird kid that people just can't stand. Anyway, now I'm 29, and I'm kind of a loner weirdo. I'm a virgin and have never been in a relationship, I guess incel is the term you use for someone like me nowadays. I also lost my job this fall, so now I'm basically 100% a pointless piece of flesh that wastes the oxygen of this planet
Anyway I hate myself a lot, and there really is no place in society for losers like me. The thing that is holding me back is that my parents care for me a lot. I'm a late child so my parents are rather old (around 70). I know they are going to take it very hard losing me, and I would really not want to hurt them. I hate the thought that they have to do a lot of practical stuff like selling my apartment and saying up subscriptions and bills and the like after I ctb.
So the thing I wanted to ask you guys is do you have suggestions of how I could make everything easier for them after I pass away? I'm planning on do it in about a month, because I want to watch the new Netflix Avatar series first (I really loved that anime).
I'm trying to do kind of like a checklist and here's what I have so far:
* Tidy up my apartment thoroughly
* Put my valuable items easily accessible and give them an idea of the price (I have a bunch of expensive Magic tg cards)
* Cancel subscriptions, like Spotify and the like
* Write a note where I express how much I love them (I truly do) and explain the reason why I decided to call it quits in a way that I think they can digest.
I feel very selfish for taking the bus when I know it will hurt people, but I simply don't think I can wait them out. It could take 10 years or more before they die, and I just can't keep living my current life for that long. Do you have any suggestions for other things that I might not have thought about that will make this whole ordeal a bit easier for them? I live in Sweden if that makes any difference.
A quick summary of me:
I think I've hade suicidal thoughts since I was 10 or something. I'm from a very small settlement and was bullied by pretty much everyone when I was a kid. I guess I was that weird kid that people just can't stand. Anyway, now I'm 29, and I'm kind of a loner weirdo. I'm a virgin and have never been in a relationship, I guess incel is the term you use for someone like me nowadays. I also lost my job this fall, so now I'm basically 100% a pointless piece of flesh that wastes the oxygen of this planet
Anyway I hate myself a lot, and there really is no place in society for losers like me. The thing that is holding me back is that my parents care for me a lot. I'm a late child so my parents are rather old (around 70). I know they are going to take it very hard losing me, and I would really not want to hurt them. I hate the thought that they have to do a lot of practical stuff like selling my apartment and saying up subscriptions and bills and the like after I ctb.
So the thing I wanted to ask you guys is do you have suggestions of how I could make everything easier for them after I pass away? I'm planning on do it in about a month, because I want to watch the new Netflix Avatar series first (I really loved that anime).
I'm trying to do kind of like a checklist and here's what I have so far:
* Tidy up my apartment thoroughly
* Put my valuable items easily accessible and give them an idea of the price (I have a bunch of expensive Magic tg cards)
* Cancel subscriptions, like Spotify and the like
* Write a note where I express how much I love them (I truly do) and explain the reason why I decided to call it quits in a way that I think they can digest.
I feel very selfish for taking the bus when I know it will hurt people, but I simply don't think I can wait them out. It could take 10 years or more before they die, and I just can't keep living my current life for that long. Do you have any suggestions for other things that I might not have thought about that will make this whole ordeal a bit easier for them? I live in Sweden if that makes any difference.
