Discussion How to let go

[SolomonKado]

I've already made my decision and have only a limited time to do it. I keep finding myself thinking of stuff I will miss because of it. Wether it's some stupid tv series, video game, movie, etc. I have become addicted to things that help me to pass time. With how I see people it's no wonder I am more worried about things. How would you let this all go?

 

[020x]

Most people do it when their patience runs out. Mostly out of desperation. It's hard to let it go when you're still emotionally stable.

 

[FinalFrontier]

No matter what distractions might exist in the physical world eventually they are no longer enjoyable, making it easier to accept that there isn't much to miss in the first place.

 

[bluebus]

I just think about it like this: I won't be able to miss anything because I won't be. I won't exist. So there will be no pain, no sadness, and no regretting.

 

[SolomonKado]

May I was balling my eyes out and begging god to take away all my pain and suffering and didn't care about anything other than my decision.

Since May I've been out of work due to a lot of different things and my doctor. Then after June passed I got comfortable. Being at home everyday with money in my savings keeping me going for a couple more months. I lost myself in binge watching tv and keeping to myself. Letting everything crumble around me. How did this being "comfortable" happen? I don't know what to do..

I've gotten so comfortable and hope has been annihilated. My back yard is full of weeds 5 feet high. My house is trashed and my teeth are going bad with some hurting since I haven't brushed since the beginning of may. I have absolutely no motivation to take care of me or my things. I've absolutely given up. It's like my SI is trying to keep me from thinking about anything that's happened. Even though I know the worst is yet to come it isn't bothering me like the month of June. I feel I'm fighting my own self through all of this.

 

[hellispink]

If you are not ready and capable to go all the way, then you are not ready to ctb and thats okay. Maybe you need something else in your life. You still enjoy things you still have a chance, just an opinion though

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that people just know when the time is right for them to leave, I think it's a feeling one has, in my case I don't desire existence at all, to me existence is so futile and empty, I'm only trapped here as suicide is something difficult and inaccessible for me, but I think if one manages to get a method plan then it's just waiting for the right time and if one doesn't manage to leave on their own terms eventually they will die anyway.

 

[SolomonKado]

I believe that people just know when the time is right for them to leave, I think it's a feeling one has, in my case I don't desire existence at all, to me existence is so futile and empty, I'm only trapped here as suicide is something difficult and inaccessible for me, but I think if one manages to get a method plan then it's just waiting for the right time and if one doesn't manage to leave on their own terms eventually they will die anyway.

Yeah I have the means. SN that I had ordered and received. It's just stupid worldly things that kept me here this long. It's the reasons I want to do it that keep me wanting to and I have a lot of them and they aren't small. Also Knowing it's guaranteed to get worse.

 

[bluebus]

May I was balling my eyes out and begging god to take away all my pain and suffering and didn't care about anything other than my decision.

Since May I've been out of work due to a lot of different things and my doctor. Then after June passed I got comfortable. Being at home everyday with money in my savings keeping me going for a couple more months. I lost myself in binge watching tv and keeping to myself. Letting everything crumble around me. How did this being "comfortable" happen? I don't know what to do..

I've gotten so comfortable and hope has been annihilated. My back yard is full of weeds 5 feet high. My house is trashed and my teeth are going bad with some hurting since I haven't brushed since the beginning of may. I have absolutely no motivation to take care of me or my things. I've absolutely given up. It's like my SI is trying to keep me from thinking about anything that's happened. Even though I know the worst is yet to come it isn't bothering me like the month of June. I feel I'm fighting my own self through all of this.

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. Life can be so painful and difficult.
"It's like my SI is trying to keep me from thinking about anything that's happened." I can totally relate to that. There are YEARS of my life (probably more than half) that I don't remember. Once in a while I get flooded with a memory the past. Sometimes they comes in waves, other times it's a full sharp memory. I think that some part of my brain (probably something that has to do with self preservation/ survival instinct) has pushed those years into a dark, deep, corner of my mind, in order to keep me alive.

 

[SolomonKado]

I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. Life can be so painful and difficult.
"It's like my SI is trying to keep me from thinking about anything that's happened." I can totally relate to that. There are YEARS of my life (probably more than half) that I don't remember. Once in a while I get flooded with a memory the past. Sometimes they comes in waves, other times it's a full sharp memory. I think that some part of my brain (probably something that has to do with self preservation/ survival instinct) has pushed those years into a dark, deep, corner of my mind, in order to keep me alive.

Oh I hate that part of me that does that. I would be traveling, taking a shower, etc and I would be smashed with a crippling memory. Like it was trying to punish me and keep me from being happy.

I already went through treatment for a year for a disease that was one of the worst experiences in my life because of side effects, but it's over and things are supposed to be better because it's over…except for the chemical changes in my brain and the chronic pain…why can't it be over?! I have been in therapy and taking psych medications for the past 20 years and it still happens…

These things have piled up and I can't get any peace anymore. I just want it all to stop and for me to find peace…