Discussion How to know if you are “too far gone?”

[Anxieyote]

It is difficult to know when you are "beyond saving", but are there any tell-tale signs that you should stop trying? Being able to ascertain when one should bite the bullet would be very helpful; like if there were a circle chart of compounded issues to illustrate how fucked you are.

Cocktail mixture of schizophrenia, no money, no friends, unhealthy coping mechanisms, endless depression—you get the idea. Kind of like rolling bad status effects in a DnD game, and slowly realizing that your character is too encumbered with ailments to survive the next encounter.

Is there a certain combination of these issues that you would be able to give a zero-sum judgement and recommend CTB as the only option? To the point where you would be able to objectively look at someone's life situation, and confidently say, "Yeah, that's not going to end well. No point in putting it off any longer."

 

[FuneralCry]

The way I see it, we have the right to take our lives at any time of our choosing, as we did not ask to be here. I just think it is a feeling deep down, where you feel as though you have reached your limit, there is no objective way to measure it. I guess as humans we all have different limits, some people are naturally more resilient than others. In my case, I have no hope and I dread the future. There is no reason for me to carry on. I am too far gone for certain. I'm sorry you are suffering.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I knew that I should bite it when on top of crippling mental illness that's been going on 14 years I got severe damage to my inner ear that cant be fixed. My ears are blown open from the inside and cant afford brain + ear surgery so just accepted it and perfecting my bridge hanging setup lol
I'm at the point where fuckin therapy and meds just wont cut it, ever, until then there was hope

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Is there a certain combination of these issues that you would be able to give a zero-sum judgement and recommend CTB as the only option?

I believe only the individual should be entitled to make this kind of decision. Some people live lives I'd find unbearable, but they plough on seemingly content. Others have nearly everything I've ever wanted but still decide life's not worth it to them. I wish all adults were legally entitled to a painless way out when we feel it's time to go--so long as we feel confident about our own decision. But many of the reasons you listed are among my reasons for wanting out. I'd guess a lot of others feel similarly.

 

[ClownMe]

I would classify myself as "too far gone". Hope is the thing that kills you, once you give up on hope because it's burnt you too many times then it's all over. What I mean by hope is that things can get better through you making new friends, getting into relationships, earning money etc. No amount of friends or wealth could make me satisfied enough to live because I can't unsee the World for what it is. This is just my take on this though, others might have different thoughts.

 

[Meditation guide]

I read about a blind woman who was totally paralyzed from the neck down and bedridden for life. She was adamant that she wanted to continue to live. So each person has a different threshold for how much they can stand.

 

[Anxieyote]

I read about a blind woman who was totally paralyzed from the neck down and bedridden for life. She was adamant that she wanted to continue to live. So each person has a different threshold for how much they can stand.

Jesus.

I'm able-bodied, live in a nice apartment, with good decor, fanciest iPhones, iPads, Macs, all the movies I could ever want to watch, any food I want to eat, voice-controlled lighting, constant internet access (don't need WiFi for anything except the TV since I got LTE on all my devices), and I still wanna put a bullet in my head.

It does put things into perspective, and I'm glad people have been bringing up the tolerance threshold. Not everyone is going to find satisfaction in the same things, and someone else's reason for living might sound completely stupid to a person who doesn't find value in that aspect of life.

Hope is also something I was glad to see brought up. The "I'm not satisfied, and I don't think I ever will be satisfied" moment seems to be the penultimate nail in the coffin.

So what I gather from that is the moment you know you are beyond saving is the moment when you personally tell yourself you are beyond saving—and genuinely believe it.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Everyone has a chance to get better, the issue is having the access to the resources to do this. Still I believe everyone is capable and deserving of living a fulfilling life, and the definition of that varies between individuals.

No one can tell you when the right time is, because there is no way for us to know. As others have already said, people have different capacities for suffering and different standards of living. There are people with mental illnesses who would love to live alone and independently, who would do better that way, but cannot for whatever reason.

There's no battery that measures how fucked you are, there's no one who can rate your suffering and assign a Very Fucked or Not That Fucked standard to it. There's no universal or even national standard to these things because everyone has different standards, cultures, and preferences. On this very site, there are people who feel that being professionally treated is a negative for them, and they wish they do not need to see clinicians or be sectioned. Still others come on here asking how they can be hospitalized, or asking for resources to get free or reduced cost treatment.

The people who feel they are qualified to decide this for others are what the problem is in this world. They are the people who make it difficult to live a fulfilling life with mental illness, they are the ones who encourage people who are very far from hopeless to make a permanent and impulsive decision. You are the only expert into your tolerances, experiences, and desires. If you have logically concluded that you cannot suffer any longer, then that's your call to make. You are free to make that call and you shouldn't feel obligated to meet anyone else's standards in these regards.