how to i get my loved ones to let go of me?

[uncat_]

one of the worse things about my suicidality is that i have people who love me. i constantly feel guiltu about wanting to leave, but im getting so tired. what are some subtle ways to help my family, friends, and partner to let me go?

 

[AnonymousL]

You can't.
They will love you no matter what.

The best thing you can do is write a long letter to each one of them explaining why you did it and that they couldn't have done anything to prevent it.

It will be painful. It's always painful to loose a loved one. But time heals. You grow around grief. It will always be there. But there will be a day that they don't cry anymore every single time they think about you. They won't break down over and over again.

They won't forget you. Ever. They will still think about you. But after a while they will remember the good memories of you, not only your death.

 

[momento.mori]

It sounds like you have a lot of people who love you and will miss you. If you must go, I understand. What I did was gradually let them all go until I'm barely reachable now, only via email and that's if they take the time to look for my old emails. I did it this way for a couple of reasons but ultimately they don't have to worry if I'll make another attempt, calling the police on me, etc. So a suggestion us to start pulling away gradually but nothing to raise concern. Overall, they will miss you and if you go they will have so many questions unanswered. Whether you pull away or not it seems like you will always be missed and loved.

 

[Ash]

If you love them, ask yourself what you want their memories to be like. When they come to terms with your death, they'll want to look back on the good times but if you end your life pushing everyone away, that's what they will remember and regret. Bad enough they'll have to grieve without making it harder.

 

[AkaRed]

I'll be real, if you have people to surround yourself with that love you- please do not take their love for granted. I know feelings of CTB are hard, but at the very least please leave them some final, positive words to look back on and give them something good to remember you by. I imagine their grief will be immense, and you cannot stop them from caring for you, and from loving you.

Honestly, depression kind of does the pushing away part for you. You become pretty self isolated and trapped in your own world. If you are at a point of CTB, most people would've become fairly recluse and caved in already. If you're showing signs of social withdrawal and distance, doing that over a prolonged period of time usually pushes people away. They don't really consider the reasons why, and just assume you need space (even though it's likely the opposite in most cases).

For those absolutely closest like family- they will be faced with your death the most significantly. And that is just the reality of it. There is nothing you can do but leave them words of encouragement and love. They will inevitably be hurt, but you will be free. It's your choice at the end of the day.

<3

 

[momento.mori]

I'll tell you this true story. I had a co-worker who son committed suicide and left her a letter. The police found the letter and eventually told her she could come to the police station and pick it up, she never went to pick it up and I was baffled because I assumed she had questions. Her response to me was simple, she said she wanted to remember him as he was and she didn't want to be haunted by his last words. If you ever decide to CTB and write a letter/ note it doesn't guarantee they will get it or read it. For you I would suggest talking to someone about how you're feeling and maybe reach out for help. It sounds like you may not be ready for suicide.

 

[uncat_]

I'll tell you this true story. I had a co-worker who son committed suicide and left her a letter. The police found the letter and eventually told her she could come to the police station and pick it up, she never went to pick it up and I was baffled because I assumed she had questions. Her response to me was simple, she said she wanted to remember him as he was and she didn't want to be haunted by his last words. If you ever decide to CTB and write a letter/ note it doesn't guarantee they will get it or read it. For you I would suggest talking to someone about how you're feeling and maybe reach out for help. It sounds like you may not be ready for suicide.

i have reached out for help countless times. been in multiple psych wards, iops and phps. even a residential for a few months as well. nothing i do will ever take away the longing i have for death. ive been suicidal, or at least knowing thatd be my desmise, since i was in elementary.

maybe im not ready at this moment, but i can feel myself getting closer to an attempt again.

 

[momento.mori]

i have reached out for help countless times. been in multiple psych wards, iops and phps. even a residential for a few months as well. nothing i do will ever take away the longing i have for death. ive been suicidal, or at least knowing thatd be my desmise, since i was in elementary.

maybe im not ready at this moment, but i can feel myself getting closer to an attempt again.

I understand what you're saying. It seems like it will be a tough ending for everyone, including yourself. I think we all fantasize about death but do you think you're really ready,

 

[uncat_]

I understand what you're saying. It seems like it will be a tough ending for everyone, including yourself. I think we all fantasize about death but do you think you're really ready,

at this point, right now, yes. i feel ready. or at least im closer to being ready that i have been in a very long time.

ive known i would die by suicide my entire life, its just a matter of when.

what makes you think im not ready?

 

[mehdone]

Don't push them away.
Hold them tight, hold them close.
If you are capable, give them a good last memory- a night out, a nice dinner, a nice conversation.

Don't push them away before you ctb. As someone who has tried repeatedly to ctb, and lost multiple loved ones to ctb- please don't push them away. You won't be making it easier on them. You'll be making them torture themselves even more.

Just love them, let them love you, and then do what you must.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

i have reached out for help countless times. been in multiple psych wards, iops and phps. even a residential for a few months as well. nothing i do will ever take away the longing i have for death. ive been suicidal, or at least knowing thatd be my desmise, since i was in elementary.

maybe im not ready at this moment, but i can feel myself getting closer to an attempt again.

I hope you find peace soon. Ultimately you can't control how your family will react. If they truly love you they will hopefully understand your decision esp after all you've been through,