Onelegman
I use a translator
- May 24, 2024
- 552
Hello everyone, I hope I don't break any rules... I like to write and explain things in the forums, forgive the long text. I'm Spanish and I use Google translate, so... also sorry for my vocabulary hahaha
I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 by jumping from a seventh floor terrace. I did it quickly and jumped straight, landing on my feet and losing my right leg. Shame and fear of failing again made me give up for a few years. At 27 I tried again, this time hanging from a radiator, partially as I just learned. In posture 3 of the drawing, practically sitting. (very wrongly) After spending a few minutes feeling like my head was going to explode and my self-preservation overpowered my desire, I backed out. The last one was less than a month ago, when I was 36 years old, with a bottle of nitrogen in the car, but something went wrong, the gas escaped through the hose (I don't understand how it didn't affect me equally) and I ended up passing out for 2 hours .
I'm reading Wataru Tsurumi's suicide manual and I'm wondering whether to hang myself completely or throw myself backwards from the same floor window. My biggest fear is failing again and looking so bad that I can't try again and also the agony of falling. I can confirm what the book states, that when jumping from more than 20 meters you do not feel pain when you hit the ground. On the first attempt I learned that I did not suffer any pain, I broke both legs and a hip, as well as a partial detachment of a kidney, but my body felt like it was asleep, tingling, I was conscious thinking, oh no, I failed! and I tried to move to get back up and jump again (in my delirium) but I noticed that I couldn't move anything except my hip a few centimeters.
I am looking for advice so that, on this occasion, I can achieve my goal. If possible, hanging completely, my fear is tremendous and I want it to be as quick and painless as possible, like with nitrogen, fainting and feeling nothing but peace.
I'm reading several threads about it but being Spanish and using the translation I notice that there are things that I miss. Things like the knot to use, the right height, etc. would help me. That time I used a thick electrical cord, but I've learned that it should be a thumb-thick rope so that it evenly squeezes the carotid and stuff.
I appreciate all the help, fellow sufferers. Thanks in advance.
My biggest question is: if I use a thick rope (the typical one from the movies) is it better than a nylon or climbing rope? It is narrower but will slide better and tighten better, or that is my observation. And more importantly, what knot do I use? You don't recommend the classic gallows and I'm not sure which one to use.
Once again, thank you for everything.
PD: In the rules it indicates that searches can be done, but I don't see the button to do them...
I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 by jumping from a seventh floor terrace. I did it quickly and jumped straight, landing on my feet and losing my right leg. Shame and fear of failing again made me give up for a few years. At 27 I tried again, this time hanging from a radiator, partially as I just learned. In posture 3 of the drawing, practically sitting. (very wrongly) After spending a few minutes feeling like my head was going to explode and my self-preservation overpowered my desire, I backed out. The last one was less than a month ago, when I was 36 years old, with a bottle of nitrogen in the car, but something went wrong, the gas escaped through the hose (I don't understand how it didn't affect me equally) and I ended up passing out for 2 hours .
I'm reading Wataru Tsurumi's suicide manual and I'm wondering whether to hang myself completely or throw myself backwards from the same floor window. My biggest fear is failing again and looking so bad that I can't try again and also the agony of falling. I can confirm what the book states, that when jumping from more than 20 meters you do not feel pain when you hit the ground. On the first attempt I learned that I did not suffer any pain, I broke both legs and a hip, as well as a partial detachment of a kidney, but my body felt like it was asleep, tingling, I was conscious thinking, oh no, I failed! and I tried to move to get back up and jump again (in my delirium) but I noticed that I couldn't move anything except my hip a few centimeters.
I am looking for advice so that, on this occasion, I can achieve my goal. If possible, hanging completely, my fear is tremendous and I want it to be as quick and painless as possible, like with nitrogen, fainting and feeling nothing but peace.
I'm reading several threads about it but being Spanish and using the translation I notice that there are things that I miss. Things like the knot to use, the right height, etc. would help me. That time I used a thick electrical cord, but I've learned that it should be a thumb-thick rope so that it evenly squeezes the carotid and stuff.
I appreciate all the help, fellow sufferers. Thanks in advance.
My biggest question is: if I use a thick rope (the typical one from the movies) is it better than a nylon or climbing rope? It is narrower but will slide better and tighten better, or that is my observation. And more importantly, what knot do I use? You don't recommend the classic gallows and I'm not sure which one to use.
Once again, thank you for everything.
PD: In the rules it indicates that searches can be done, but I don't see the button to do them...