How to go through with suicide

[deadfrog]

Hello!
I've wanted to die for a long time, and this year it has become increasingly more clear that it's the best option for me. I know I have to do it. My health is only getting worse with no end or treatment in sight. If I stay I will continue to be a burden and drag people down, and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to do what's right.
My problem is that I always chicken out in the last second, because it scares me how final death it. It's all I want, but it's still terrifying to me that everything can be over so fast.

Do you have any tips on how I can push myself to go through with it? How I can do it despite the fear of the unknown and the sadness about what could have been?

I would really like to do it tomorrow, if possible. If not tomorrow, then at least very soon. I don't want to be a bad, negative person any longer. I need to push myself to go through with it, but I find it really hard to do so. I know it's the right choice for me and everyone else, so I need to figure this out asap. Every additional day I stay feels wrong and immoral, because I know I shouldn't be here. I want to go, I just need a little help, a little push.

 

[dggtscccvfd]

Hello!
I've wanted to die for a long time, and this year it has become increasingly more clear that it's the best option for me. I know I have to do it. My health is only getting worse with no end or treatment in sight. If I stay I will continue to be a burden and drag people down, and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to do what's right.
My problem is that I always chicken out in the last second, because it scares me how final death it. It's all I want, but it's still terrifying to me that everything can be over so fast.

Do you have any tips on how I can push myself to go through with it? How I can do it despite the fear of the unknown and the sadness about what could have been?

I would really like to do it tomorrow, if possible. If not tomorrow, then at least very soon. I don't want to be a bad, negative person any longer. I need to push myself to go through with it, but I find it really hard to do so. I know it's the right choice for me and everyone else, so I need to figure this out asap. Every additional day I stay feels wrong and immoral, because I know I shouldn't be here. I want to go, I just need a little help, a little push.

What method are you using?

 

[deadfrog]

I want to use the night-night method. It took me a while, but after I found the right spots on my neck I passed out super quickly! Which is good, since that doesn't give me much time to panic and second guess my choice. Now I just need to actually do it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's dreadful and torturous feeling so trapped here when you just wish to eternally cease existing. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to die.

 

[deadfrog]

I just need someone to push me over the edge please. What could help me with going through? Would getting drunk help? I'm so desperate to die

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm afraid that nobody here will be able to "push you over the edge". I think with NN specifically it is more difficult to overcome SI than with full suspension for example. I wouldn't get drunk bc when you are too drunk you might not be able to place everything in the right positions before you tighten the ratchet (or torniquete).

Living is hard dying is even harder. I'm sorry your SI is so strong and causing so much trouble.

 

[deadfrog]

I'm afraid that nobody here will be able to "push you over the edge". I think with NN specifically it is more difficult to overcome SI than with full suspension for example. I wouldn't get drunk bc when you are too drunk you might not be able to place everything in the right positions before you tighten the ratchet (or torniquete).

Living is hard dying is even harder. I'm sorry your SI is so strong and causing so much trouble.

Thank you for your kind reply. I hate that dying is so hard for me. I admire everyone who has gone through with it. I'm really bad at making decisions, so making one this big and irreversible is scary. I know that I most definitely can't regret my choice when I'm actually dead, but for some reason it's still so hard to do it. Maybe because I'm sad it has to end this way. I wish things could have gone different, but it's too late for that now.

 

[Reuthry]

I have the same problem, I also will use NN but I am afraid if SI kicks when everything is ready and if I delusionally change my mind so I would be back to this damn endless cycle of feeling suicidal but not able to do it.

 

[deadfrog]

Ok I definitely want to at least try to do it. The only reason I haven't, is because I'm mostly house bound and still live with my parents. There's always someone home and I obviously don't want anyone to find me too soon. I'm thinking of either doing it tomorrow, but it would have to be somewhere outside since I'm "staying with a friend". That way I could leave the house without raising suspicion. I would then try to reach the forest and do it there.
The alternative is waiting until the new year and try to find a time window in which no one is home. The problem with that is that there's almost always someone in the house. I could try to sneak out depending on who's home. It sucks that I have so much trouble walking, but the adrenaline might take care of that. A dream scenario would be to be home alone for a few hours. Idk I just need to share my thoughts somewhere.

 

[Reuthry]

Ok I definitely want to at least try to do it. The only reason I haven't, is because I'm mostly house bound and still live with my parents. There's always someone home and I obviously don't want anyone to find me too soon. I'm thinking of either doing it tomorrow, but it would have to be somewhere outside since I'm "staying with a friend". That way I could leave the house without raising suspicion. I would then try to reach the forest and do it there.
The alternative is waiting until the new year and try to find a time window in which no one is home. The problem with that is that there's almost always someone in the house. I could try to sneak out depending on who's home. It sucks that I have so much trouble walking, but the adrenaline might take care of that. A dream scenario would be to be home alone for a few hours. Idk I just need to share my thoughts somewhere.

I hope things turn out well for you and you can find what you are looking for. I am experiencing the same exact issue, but my parents don't even let me be alone by myself that's why I will see what I can do at night silently.
Anyway, again, wishing the best for you, good luck with everything.

 

[Gonnerr]

I think dying is the hardest thing to do , just to let go into the unknown...

 

[deadfrog]

I hope things turn out well for you and you can find what you are looking for. I am experiencing the same exact issue, but my parents don't even let me be alone by myself that's why I will see what I can do at night silently.
Anyway, again, wishing the best for you, good luck with everything.

Thank you so much! I hope the same for you. I've thought about doing it at night, but I'm scared of waking someone if I start choking or something.

 

[deadfrog]

Things keep getting worse, I keep messing up and losing people, so now there's nothing holding me back anymore. I will try to kill myself today. And I'm very happy about it.

 

[Reuthry]

Things keep getting worse, I keep messing up and losing people, so now there's nothing holding me back anymore. I will try to kill myself today. And I'm very happy about it.

I hope things go well for you and you can find peace. Good luck.

 

[AInilam]

For me, I just accepted oblivion or the fact that there might not be an afterlife after all. I closed my eyes, covered my ears, listened to the silence and made myself pretend I didn't exist.

No thoughts, head empty. I realize I had no tethers to this life and it was oddly freeing. Because of society's restrictions and stigma surrounding ctb, my method will probably be uncomfortable but only for 10 minutes. I'm willing to take that jump now because I'm just so done with the disappointment, absurdity, pointlessness, cruelty and humiliation of it all.

 

[deadfrog]

I am doing it now! I feel so happy and at peace. Goodbye

 

[Tears in Rain]

Sorry it has come to this. Good luck!

 

[deadfrog]

Couldn't find the right spots so I freaked out and cut myself instead. I hate myself so much for failing. I hate myself so much. I will try again.

 

[deadfrog]

Hello I am in a forest now and will kill myself I'm happy

 

[baabbaabbaab]

Good luck