How to get over the guilt in regard to the pain i’ll cause my parents?

[Volatile]

They're good people and have done so much for me. They adopted me when no one else would and have tried to help me get over my childhood trauma.

My death would break them but I'm in such agony. Childhood trauma is like cancer. It just spreads until the organism is enveloped.

 

[iFeelmeaninglesss]

I would suggest to write a sincere note or letter ,explaining to them, along the lines of "It was not your fault. I blame no one except those who are....." . That type of further truth they would desire if you would like to give it to them.

Of course you don't have to do it that way
but it's your personal choice, do what most pleases you.