Venting How unrestricted internet access at a young age affected me.

[Doll Steak]

Kind of just a ramble sorry. I'm gonna keep this short.

When I was younger, around 9, I got my first computer. My parents never cared to put any restrictions on it or monitor what I was doing so it was around this time I also saw adult content. It didn't have quite an affect on me at the time cause I didn't even know what was happening but It probably set me up for all the other shit, like getting a porn addiction at 13-14.

At around 12-13 I accidently saw my first gore video, it was a brutal shotgun suicide and it traumatized me for weeks, maybe months. It was always replaying in the back of my head.
Weirdly though, I felt like I couldn't stop watching it, and despite my disgust and trauma from it I sought out more gore content. I had a morbid curiosity for it, in my head I was thinking things like "I have to see all the ways a person can die or get hurt"

I was so mentally fucked and nobody was gonna stop me, and nobody did but also nobody could have.

I never reached out cause I wanted to spare my parents or anyone else the trauma of seeing the videos that I saw, stupid, I know.

 

[Cauliflour]

I would say that you should've told someone about what you saw but I would be a hypocrite as if I saw a gore video at 12, I would not mention it at all out of fear of having my internet taken away. I had unrestricted internet access since I was about 8 or 9 and I did come across some questionable content but I was also really stupid so my parents found out fairly quickly. Wasn't like gore or porn thankfully but I think this is something of a generational trauma for gen Z/alpha.

 

[theboy]

This is a classic
All of Generation Z did that

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can completely understand how this has affected you. I even remember that the opening scene from RoboCop had an affect on me and I was of age to see it!

Truthfully, I don't understand why parents don't sometimes seem worried about the dangers their child may encounter online. I think it ought to be an intrinsic part of parenting now. It's naive to believe devices arrive to us safe for children to use.

The other thing I tend to wonder though is- can they even fully protect them? Without smothering them and becoming so strict that they are more likely to rebel? Children can be even more tempted to do things they've been told not to.

That was another one of my bug bears with that Tantacrul YouTube guy. I think he believed that trying to be some protective authority figure would steer 'vulnerable' people and children away from this site. I imagine it had the opposite effect of peaking their curiosity. Plus, anyone who is bordering active ideation will be all over something that supposedly gives them method information.

That's off topic but yeah- I'm sure that what we watch has an affect on us. Especially if it's very graphic and disturbing and especially if we are young. I'm actually grateful for my over protective, prudish upbringing in a lot of ways. My Grandma did the bulk of it and I think she was terrified of some of this world.