Help How to get a friend to think I'm joking about CTB

[Ybxn9]

I recently told a friend about my plan to CTB with SN, He didn't believe me and thought I was joking as we often make dark/edgy jokes about suicide and cancer etc. He had no idea that I was seriously considering it. I told him that I planned it and had a method to do it as a way of venting and to see if he would tell me anything about it, maybe change my mind? idk I just wanted to tell someone, I usually don't tell anyone about what I'm going through or what I've experienced in real life because I feel super anxious and it brings up trauma when I talk about it. I thought I might try changing and telling someone but it didn't go well.

Anyway, I told him, and he didn't believe me at all, he made jokes about it like "I'll watch your body go cold and limp in front of me and burst out laughing" or "ill post it on Reddit and get 1 like cause nobody loves you". He was laughing the whole time and we make jokes about other people doing it so I don't think he was trying to be malicious, he was just trying to be funny. I was on SS the week after reading posts and just watching what people say when he saw what I was on, I usually delete the SS logo and suicide mentions from the website by deleting the HTML elements but he was reading the posts so it was pretty obvious.

He now believes that I am serious about CTB. I told him to not tell anyone and that I was joking, he doesn't believe me at all about me joking and fully thinks I'm going to do it. I told him not to spread what I was thinking of doing. But I think he might tell someone sooner or later. I'm scared that my parents will find out and everything will go to shit. If they find out they will abuse me then watch me 24/7 and take away my access to my few friends and my wifi and gym so I can't talk to anyone or leave the house t and if he tells the wrong people it will either spread around and I get sent to a mental hospital or locked up.

He also kept saying sorry for what he said when he was joking and told me a million times that he was joking and that he didnt mean it, I knew it already. He felt really bad afterwards and it hurts to see him like that, I laughed it off and pretended I wasnt going to do it and I was joking but he didnt believe me and kept apologising. I dont want to hurt him and make him thinks its his fault and give him guilt. I regret telling him.

I can't let him tell anyone and I'm scared he won't listen to me and will tell someone. How do I convince him I was joking and that I'm not serious. I need to be successful in my CTB, I hate my life I need to just leave peacefully, I wont affect many people other than my sister and maybe my friends. If other people find out it means I can't CTB.

TLDR: my friend knows I want to suicide, how do I get him to think I'm joking and that I wasn't serious, what should I say to make him think im joking again

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Tell him exactly what you have told us. People can smell bullshit a mile away so just trying to fool him isn't going to work.

 

[corazon]

I once opened up to my brother about my suicidal thoughts. I tried backtracking because I very quickly realised my error, and tried to be lighthearted and joking. He admitted that he didn't know what to do and even googled "what to do when someone you know is suicidal" in front of me (lol), which of course every website under the sun suggested to report me.

I made him promise not to tell anyone and everything was fine for a couple weeks. And then maybe because he was bored or something, he reported me to the damn school I was attending at the time. I panicked then. But nowadays I can shrug the experience off. I lied through my teeth and with nothing to go on, they left me be. I don't think anyone really believed I was actually suicidal and it hasn't been mentioned since. My family don't even behave differently and seem to have forgotten.

 

[Ybxn9]

I made him promise not to tell anyone and everything was fine for a couple weeks. And then maybe because he was bored or something, he reported me to the damn school I was attending at the time. I panicked then. But nowadays I can shrug the experience off. I lied through my teeth and with nothing to go on, they left me be. I don't think anyone really believed I was actually suicidal and it hasn't been mentioned since. My family don't even behave differently and seem to have forgotten.

What happened when he reported you?, did they pull you out of class. Like did your parents know as soon as he reported you to the school and what did you have to say to get out of it?

 

[meatclown]

What happened when he reported you?, did they pull you out of class. Like did your parents know as soon as he reported you to the school and what did you have to say to get out of it?

It sounds like it was more circumstance than anything that allowed him to de-escalate in his case. Remember to control your breathing and be aware of your body language and level of eye contact if you are confronted and have to 'play it cool'. Remember to act accordingly, I will be praying for you...

 

[Ybxn9]

It sounds like it was more circumstance than anything that allowed him to de-escalate in his case. Remember to control your breathing and be aware of your body language and level of eye contact if you are confronted and have to 'play it cool'. Remember to act accordingly, I will be praying for you...

The problem is they might tell my parents and if that happens im screwed because of how controlling they are and even if I tell them its a joke they wouldn't care either way, if they tell the school I don't think I am a good enough liar to convince them that I wasn't being serious and I just don't see how I can get out of this shitty situation im just hoping he doesnt

 

[corazon]

What happened when he reported you?, did they pull you out of class. Like did your parents know as soon as he reported you to the school and what did you have to say to get out of it?

It didn't take long before they sent a wellbeing worker to fetch me from class. I had no choice in the matter but to go with him and I wasn't allowed to leave the room. I practically begged him not to call my parents (he did though). He asked my mother if she would feel "safe" for me to commute home on my own (and not kill myself as soon as I leave) and she agreed. So I took one sad, defeated bus ride home, knowing that once I got home I would get interrogated. I can only speak from my experience, but often people flip out once suicide is brought up, at least initially.

 

[SMK1444]

Lying is always the best option, find things to be "thankful" for if interrogated such as a friend or a pet and say to your parents "I could never leave this behind" why one earth would I Kms? Works for me sometimes

 

[Ybxn9]

It didn't take long before they sent a wellbeing worker to fetch me from class. I had no choice in the matter but to go with him and I wasn't allowed to leave the room. I practically begged him not to call my parents (he did though).

Damn, I was really hoping that it wouldn't be like that. Was there anything you could say to the youth worker like "my friend is lying" or like go to the school first and tell them before they call my parents?

Lying is always the best option, find things to be "thankful" for if interrogated such as a friend or a pet and say to your parents "I could never leave this behind" why one earth would I Kms? Works for me sometimes

Thank you for the idea

 

[corazon]

Damn, I was really hoping that it wouldn't be like that. Was there anything you could say to the youth worker like "my friend is lying"

I tried the whole "he's just playing a practical joke on me" routine and the youth worker scoffed at me.

or like go to the school first and tell them before they call my parents?

The school had their protocol and with something like this, they weren't willing to compromise. They don't tend to trust you once they hear you've had suicidal thoughts. They were going to call my parents either way. It might not necessarily be the same for you, though. And maybe your friend won't tell? I hope things work out for you.

 

[Ybxn9]

I tried the whole "he's just playing a practical joke on me" routine and the youth worker scoffed at me.

The school had their protocol and with something like this, they weren't willing to compromise. They don't tend to trust you once they hear you've had suicidal thoughts. They were going to call my parents either way. It might not necessarily be the same for you, though. And maybe your friend won't tell? I hope things work out for you.

I see, yeah I'm just hoping it doesn't come to that because from what you said and what I found online apparently they have to notify relatives when they get a report about it even if its a "false" report. Thank you, ill just try to make sure he doesn't report me