How to find a gf

[HappyForever?]

I'm not attractive, short, maybe I'm slightly boring(my hobbies are relatively weird), and have mediocre social skills. I have very low standards (female, age <= 23, not overweight, that's all).
I'd like to give life another chance before I ctb, I really wish I could experience love. If I find a gf I will leave and probably never return. Instead I've been stuck in the dark for years unable to find even the slightest indication of a way out.

 

[timf]

Because of the heavy imprint of media on our society, looks become the greatest measure of attractiveness for those under 30. As people encounter reality (as opposed to media) they often begin as they approach 30 to consider that there are human qualities much more important than looks.

As people begin to develop the ability to see others at a level deeper than looks, qualities like humor, kindness, compassion, and patience become much more attractive. You may consider investing in developing similar qualities which will put you in a more competitive position as time progresses.

Given the age range you specified, it is going to be difficult to find many who have been able to transcend the superficiality imprint of modern society. It is possible, but you may have to look in places that could appeal to those of more mature development such as with some churches, libraries, volunteer work etc.

Here time works to your advantage as looks will always fade and many begin to see deeper as to what is important in life.

 

[HappyForever?]

Because of the heavy imprint of media on our society, looks become the greatest measure of attractiveness for those under 30. As people encounter reality (as opposed to media) they often begin as they approach 30 to consider that there are human qualities much more important than looks.

As people begin to develop the ability to see others at a level deeper than looks, qualities like humor, kindness, compassion, and patience become much more attractive. You may consider investing in developing similar qualities which will put you in a more competitive position as time progresses.

Given the age range you specified, it is going to be difficult to find many who have been able to transcend the superficiality imprint of modern society. It is possible, but you may have to look in places that could appeal to those of more mature development such as with some churches, libraries, volunteer work etc.

Here time works to your advantage as looks will always fade and many begin to see deeper as to what is important in life.

There's no way I'm suffering this loneliness fot god knows how many years. I'd rather ctb

 

[aBLEACHyindividual]

I take it that you're a guy right? I'm going to be honest with you, the odds are stacked against you…chances are you won't be getting a girlfriend.

 

[Manaaja]

Short men are the best! A lot of people don't like short men, which is a shame. I've seen a lot of heightism towards short men which is awful. I've seen many women want a man taller than them which is weird. In animal kingdom it's the females who are usually big and strong and males who are cute and cuddly. Iirc, in about 55-60% of animal species females are bigger. Then you take into mind the animals species where females and males are the same size, and I'd say maybe in 20% of animal species males are bigger. Remove mammals and you'll eliminate most of the species were males are bigger.

If humans were birds you'd have a dozen cute eagle girls wanting to lay eggs with you.

I hope there emerges a new group of women who prefer short men. I hope you can find love someday somewhere. Modern world is awfully heightist and lookist but it can change. And there are always girls who don't care about such things, even if they are rare currently.

What hobbies do you have?

 

[Pluto]

99% of the effort you would need to make is on yourself. Relationships (or lack thereof) are a mirror that starkly show us where we are at.

Women operate completely differently to men and you can't assume that they think as you do. Study the work of dating coaches. Ask successful people for advice. Do what you can with your appearance, then have a sense of humour about yourself. Learn how to be funny and 'alpha'. And if all this is too much, you might need to start with depression treatment.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

The demotivation bean is here ! Don't even bother trying, 10 years of fixing every single aspect of myself possible to a point where literally every single person i meet is amazed at how nice and good looking i am, no one gives a shit enough to date me. This demotivating message was sponsored by this cute picture of Felix Argyle:

 

[chocolatebar]

I'm not attractive, short, maybe I'm slightly boring(my hobbies are relatively weird), and have mediocre social skills. I have very low standards (female, age <= 23, not overweight, that's all).
I'd like to give life another chance before I ctb, I really wish I could experience love. If I find a gf I will leave and probably never return. Instead I've been stuck in the dark for years unable to find even the slightest indication of a way out.

Look for people, talk to people, get to know each other and don't approach anyone with any intention, but the joy of a nice chat. Eventually, you both will feel connected and will want to be more and more time with each other. Try not to force things, but to let them advance naturally.
Besides, why do you look for people applying physical standards? Why not let it go from your mind and see the world without the blindfold of aesthetics?

 

[aBLEACHyindividual]

Why not let it go from your mind and see the world without the blindfold of aesthetics?

Unfortunately, that's just the way things are. Many things revolve around looks, it's the first thing you see about a person…we're all guilty of judging books by their cover.

 

[Pallf]

If you ever figure it out, let me know.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Wish I could tell ya but if I knew how then I'd have one by now and not need to CTB too.

I will say I'm 6 feet tall and I still can't get a gf so don't worry about your height. Hope that helps at least.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I have very low standards (female, age <= 23, not overweight, that's all).

Are you also under 23 and not overweight? One might class that as a fairly high standard unless you bring similar to the table.

I think you might be placing a little too much importance on finding love. Love is nice to have (I imagine..) but it should be a piece of your world, not its entirety. Anyone who feels that you have nothing but them is soon going to grow resentful.

I'd say that if you focus on personal development (any fitness goals, career goals, personal interests, etc), you'll instantly become more attractive because you'll come across as a strong, self-actualised person and you'll be conversational in many areas. You'll also have higher standards. I realise that you've lowered your standards to widen your pool of opportunity but ultimately that will work against you because you'll only ever attract crap. We accept the love that we feel we deserve.

And, unpopular opinion, people CAN smell desperation. I've seen men who were aesthetically hot enough to be models be avoided because they gave off a desperate vibe. You need to practice abundance mentality. People are lured in by what seems harder to obtain. Doormat isn't sexy.

It also isn't sexy if you give off the impression that ANY girl will do. We all want to be liked for ourselves, not be there to fill a girlfriend/boyfriend-shaped hole.

 

[motel rooms]

@Dr Iron Arc Whatchu cryin 4? Turn that frown upside down & accept the fact that the world is an abundant place for everyone!
@GenesAndEnvironment I congratulate you on your remarkable restraint

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

@Dr Iron Arc Whatchu cryin 4? Turn that frown upside down & accept the fact that the world is an abundant place for everyone!

I'll believe it when I see it.

 

[brutalus]

make money and use it wisely to get what you want.

$ beats

 

[orangepotato]

The truth is that girls are humans, and humans are superficial pieces of shit. Especially in the age of Tinder. Being nice or loving or sensitive doesn't matter - you have to be 6'0. That's what matters these days. Girls aren't any better than men; in fact they're even worse.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The truth is that girls are humans, and humans are superficial pieces of shit. Especially in the age of Tinder. Being nice or loving or sensitive doesn't matter - you have to be 6'0. That's what matters these days.

But I'm literally 6'0 and have still never had a girlfriend. :/

Now if I was 6'0 and rich though…

 

[motel rooms]

I'll believe it when I see it.

Let Madonna be your wise abundance guru:

I searched, I searched my whole life
To find, find the secret
And all I did was open up my heart
Baby, we can do it, we can do it all right!
Can we get together?
I really, I really wanna be with you!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Let Madonna be your wise abundance guru:

I searched, I searched my whole life
To find, find the secret
And all I did was open up my heart
Baby, we can do it, we can do it all right!
Can we get together?
I really, I really wanna be with you!

I highly doubt she was imagining me when she sang this.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

@GenesAndEnvironment I congratulate you on your remarkable restraint

Remarkable level of observation. Had shit typed out and ready to go but didn't pull the trigger.

 

[motel rooms]

I highly doubt she was imagining me when she sang this.

She was too! You're such a negative Nelly!

Let yourself have it, boy!

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

Honestly, finding a girlfriend takes practice, putting yourself out there, and a lot of failure. It's the failure that's difficult to get used to. My friend group once discussed it and we made a rough estimate that only 1 out of about 10 tinder dates was worth having a second date with.

 

[brutalus]

also lie as much as you can

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

Oh, and make sure to be yourself and super truthful ;)

 

[Over4Me]

unfortunately, women find 80% of guys 'below average' in attractiveness. (OKcupid data)

if you look at animals in nature, it's the same way. males compete and only a small percentage of males end up procreating with the females. humans are no different.

you need to find happiness within yourself, and learn to be satisfied alone.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Being nice or loving or sensitive doesn't matter - you have to be 6'0.

Can someone explain to me why this is considered the cutoff point? I've seen it mentioned several times and it seems entirely arbitrary.

 

[Over4Me]

Can someone explain to me why this is considered the cutoff point? I've seen it mentioned several times and it seems entirely arbitrary.

if you look at dating profiles of girls, you regularly see stuff like "what do you call a guy under 6'? a friend!"

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

if you look at dating profiles of girls, you regularly see stuff like "what do you call a guy under 6'? a friend!"

But why this exact number?

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Can someone explain to me why this is considered the cutoff point? I've seen it mentioned several times and it seems entirely arbitrary.

Because a lot of women don't consider shorter men but at the same time, places like incels.me and 4chan have decided this is literally all women. Going in feet first with beliefs pulled from Tinder and extremist forums is far less attractive than being 5'11".

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Relevant.