Discussion How to deal with your things? Decluttering.

[Girl-shaped Wound]

Recently, I've been really worried about all the things in my (rented) apartment. Or rather, what should I do with them to cause my loved ones as little problems as possible.

For some reason, it's difficult for me to get rid of anything nice. I have succeeded in the past (thank you, Mari Kondo), and I don't miss any of those things that I sold or given away. Most of the objects that I currently have don't bring me any joy anymore (ignoring clothes, haha). I don't even notice or think about them at all. But still, ripping off the band-aid is difficult and exhausting… When I look at those possessions, it's suddenly difficult to let them go. Maybe I see the possibilities of everything that could have been. If only someone could trash everything for me... When I have to go item by item, I suddenly don't want to let them go. I had the same issue with my HDDs. I had zero problems with purging everything, but it was hard for me to let go of every little meme or art saved.

Ehhh, or maybe it's about my executive dysfunction. Earlier this year, I would not manage to move out had a friend not helped me pack my stuff. It's that fucking bad.

I think that it would be nice for my parents to know which items were important to me in case they want to put them in my old room (side-note, but I wish that I could go through it with trash-bags, as well as the attic). Also, the less hassle for them, the better – and I know my death will be a giant problem for them anyway.
It would be the easiest to just give away boxes of categorized items, but it's a waste of money that I could get for some of them. Especially since my parents will need money for my funeral and life in general. Hell, if I want to be selfishly wasteful, I could use it for a bucket list wish. Though I guess a henna tattoo would serve just as well, since all of me is going into the ground anyway. Except I won't experience the whole tattooing process.
This has been difficult back when I was just decluttering, it's much worse even though I have less things that I used to.
I really don't know what to do.... Maybe at the very least I should pack away the items?

I'm not sure if I am looking more for motivation or advice. Both, I guess...? Maybe some of you had the same problem and have managed to find a solution.

God, I exhausted myself just writing this.
Somebody save me please.
I'm gonna read The Swedish Art of Death Cleansing in the meantime (thank God it's short, maybe I can gain a momentum and finally read the books that I would like to before I CTB).

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I am in the process of getting rid of many of my things, and believe me, it is way more than likely that I have many more things than you. I have a house and have lived in it for nearly 30 years (I'm 57 and male). In 30 years one accumulates a lot of stuff, let me tell you. Yes, it's hard to let go of things. Since I have no one to take care of my things when I die, I'm trying as best as I can to, a least, get rid of some of it. I know I won't be able to clear the entire place out. There will still be a household of furniture and a bunch of other stuff for someone to have to deal with when I'm gone. I'm just trying to get rid of the bigger ticket items like a couple motorcycles, a couple cars, an atv, some machinery if I can, that kind of thing. I have a boat that I know I won't be able to get to since that would entail me sticking around longer than I intend. I've been making up boxes of things and taking them to Goodwill and Salvation Army. I've gone through my wardrobe and have gotten together like 50 shirts, pants, suits, and some coats that I haven't worn in 20 years and taken them there, too. My mom died going on a couple years now and I've still got things of hers here I'm sorting through and will be doing the same with. I've still got things of my dad's and he died over 20 years ago. I've been filling my garbage can up weekly for pickup as I sort through stuff. The way I figure it is this, I have dealt with two estates, my mother's and my father's, so someone appointed by the court will just have to deal with mine. I can't let the idea of leaving a mess for someone to deal with affect my plans, and I won't. In the end, it's not going to matter to me one bit how my stuff gets dealt with. I know it will be taken care of. The stuff I can sell, I'm selling and sticking the proceeds in the bank which will be going to charity, anyway. The stuff I'm taking to Goodwill or Salvation Army go for a good cause, even though the CEOs are grossly overpaid. The money does trickle down to those who need it and some who need decent shirts get a good deal for $0.50 or $1.00. I'm just trying to get all the important things done before I go, like having a will drafted (done), having cremation prepaid (done), getting rid of as much as I can, and then wherever things are when I go, that's where they are.

It's that little voice in the back of your head, whose name is Hope, that tries and thwarts you from getting rid of your things with the idea that you may still need that (in the future). If she still lives within you, getting rid of anything can be difficult, if not impossible.

 

[DysphoriaKilledMe]

I'm going to be dead, so it won't be my problem. My family can just sell my stuff for all I care.

 

[almaranthine]

It's that little voice in the back of your head, whose name is Hope, that tries and thwarts you from getting rid of your things with the idea that you may still need that (in the future). If she still lives within you, getting rid of anything can be difficult, if not impossible.

That little voice really gets to me... when it comes to getting rid of simple articles of clothing, to beloved art supplies I've collected over the course of my life, I fight with myself to make the decision and actually part with it all.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

That little voice really gets to me... when it comes to getting rid of simple articles of clothing, to beloved art supplies I've collected over the course of my life, I fight with myself to make the decision and actually part with it all.

You may not be at that place either, yet. There's a finality to it, getting rid of the things accumulated in a lifetime no matter how long of one. If you're not there, you're not there. So, you just go on living with your stuff until you do get there, if you ever do. That's all any of us can do. Hope leaves when Hope is good and ready to leave.

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

You may not be at that place either, yet. There's a finality to it, getting rid of the things accumulated in a lifetime no matter how long of one. If you're not there, you're not there. So, you just go on living with your stuff until you do get there, if you ever do. That's all any of us can do. Hope leaves when Hope is good and ready to leave.

I'm worried so much that it's me as well.

I've been ruminating on this topic for the past week. I've decided that I cannot afford to worry about my material possessions. It would be nice, but it's difficult enough to plan a suicide without taking this problem into account. I still feel overwhelmed just thinking about it! It's better not to worry about it at all. Selfish, but I don't see any other solution.

If anyone ever considers reading the Death Cleansing book – I don't recommend it, unless you haven't read Mari Kondo (IMHO better) or anything similar. No particularly diffrent insight or useful from a CTB perspective.

 

[Hyd999]

Recently, I've been really worried about all the things in my (rented) apartment. Or rather, what should I do with them to cause my loved ones as little problems as possible.

For some reason, it's difficult for me to get rid of anything nice. I have succeeded in the past (thank you, Mari Kondo), and I don't miss any of those things that I sold or given away. Most of the objects that I currently have don't bring me any joy anymore (ignoring clothes, haha). I don't even notice or think about them at all. But still, ripping off the band-aid is difficult and exhausting… When I look at those possessions, it's suddenly difficult to let them go. Maybe I see the possibilities of everything that could have been. If only someone could trash everything for me... When I have to go item by item, I suddenly don't want to let them go. I had the same issue with my HDDs. I had zero problems with purging everything, but it was hard for me to let go of every little meme or art saved.

Ehhh, or maybe it's about my executive dysfunction. Earlier this year, I would not manage to move out had a friend not helped me pack my stuff. It's that fucking bad.

I think that it would be nice for my parents to know which items were important to me in case they want to put them in my old room (side-note, but I wish that I could go through it with trash-bags, as well as the attic). Also, the less hassle for them, the better – and I know my death will be a giant problem for them anyway.
It would be the easiest to just give away boxes of categorized items, but it's a waste of money that I could get for some of them. Especially since my parents will need money for my funeral and life in general. Hell, if I want to be selfishly wasteful, I could use it for a bucket list wish. Though I guess a henna tattoo would serve just as well, since all of me is going into the ground anyway. Except I won't experience the whole tattooing process.
This has been difficult back when I was just decluttering, it's much worse even though I have less things that I used to.
I really don't know what to do.... Maybe at the very least I should pack away the items?

I'm not sure if I am looking more for motivation or advice. Both, I guess...? Maybe some of you had the same problem and have managed to find a solution.

God, I exhausted myself just writing this.
Somebody save me please.
I'm gonna read The Swedish Art of Death Cleansing in the meantime (thank God it's short, maybe I can gain a momentum and finally read the books that I would like to before I CTB).

I have similar issues with decluttering too. Even meaningless items i have a hard time getting rid of. Some stuff takes so much space and has so little value but I cant get rid of them cus I feel it will make me sad. Maybe its what you said, the possibilities that could have been, but never the less when I want to de clutter I always binge the show "hoarders" cus watching othet people declutter helps me declutter in a strange way.