How to deal with guilt?

[ljgda963]

The worst part is that I want to be gone and have an incredibly supportive and nice family. I know a lot of people on here do not have that luxury and I feel deeply sorry for that. I know that when I actually CTB my parents and sisters will be devastated. My dad once said he'd CTB himself if anything happened to me or my sisters because he couldn't keep going without us. Bad news is I actually believe him. The only thing keeping me here is guilt. I don't know what to do. The only thing I can give them is a nice goodbye letter better and seriously - that won't do anything . I will still be gone. Idk it's just hard to deal with the guilt you know you'll inevitably cause

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's true that CTB is only about you. It's a selfish act and it has to be. It usually occurs for someone when the pain of living becomes greater than any fear of dying and the pain it may cause to others. I understand the guilt trip your dad is laying on you. The way I see it is that, most likely, it is just that. I doubt he would CTB himself since, as you said, he would still have others (your sisters) in his life and I doubt he would be able to do that to them. It's understandable as what parent wants to bury any of their children? You need to decide what is right for you, how much suffering you can take and for how long, and if there's anything you can do to remedy your situation and whether it is worth it to you. Basically, is the pain you have now something you can live with? It's a hard one to resolve. It will take a great deal of introspection on your part. Another thing, if you still have any hope at all lurking somewhere within you, even the most minuscule amount, that things could get better, it will be virtually impossible for you to CTB. CTB comes about when all hope is dead. Good luck.

 

[edsin78]

Guilt can be alleviated with time I think. That's how it went for me. Slowly the thought was getting easier.

 

[abcd37477337]

Why is life like this

 

[justwanasleep]

Me giving you advice would be the blind leading the blind. But I'm in the same boat even though I'm a fuck up I have people that love me. I presume we are going to feel this guilt everyday in all it's fullness until we snap and finally end ourselves.

 

[Idontmatter]

I'm in the same boat which is why I haven't dyed yet. I'm to the point though I can't live like this anymore so selfishly I'm putting myself first and finally doing it. I've done everything I can to make sure they will be ok financially after I'm gone so it's time to leave.

 

[Wait-Bus]

There is never a right answer - you have to go with your gut feeling about what is right. There is no winning solution to all this. I feel the pressure inside me to CTB but I can also feel the guilt - it's a terrible thing to balance

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it, even if losing someone is hard to deal with for those left behind, the undeniable fact is that grief and loss are simply an inevitable part of life and are a consequence of bringing others into this world. Even if we don't die right now, we will all die and lose everything someday and there is nothing that we can do about this. It's what we are intended for as humans.

At least in my case I could never continue to exist only for the sake of others and after all it's a personal decision as to when to leave this world. I do believe that no one should feel forced into staying here against their wishes, but I get that it can be a difficult situation to be in when you wish to leave, yet you are leaving others behind. The way that I see it though, whatever happens in this world after I'm gone and what people do or say could never be my concern as I simply won't be there at that point. By that point, everything that this life has burdened me with will be long forgotten about.

 

[ineverlived]

I always think about it and cry. I have been in a terrible state psychologically for years. I've suffered a lot of pain, but guilt is deffinetly the worst. i don't think i can cope with this. pure agony