Venting How to accept the fact you are not a good person?

[obei]

Ngl I really dont see myself as a good or fun person to be around.
I am negative, awkward, always depressed, jealous, annoying and just boring.
I mean it may be my bad mental health telling me all this but I just believe it, it is so real to me.
I just pull everyone down with me with my depression and I dont even know if its real or just my personality, even tho I am diagnosed.
I went to the Mh hospital 5 times, am on meds and nothing seems to get better…

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think most people can be categorized as good or bad. Most people are too complex. This type of thinking can actually be pretty bad, especially since it can cause you to feel extremely guilty and cause you to sink further into your terrible habits and behaviour because you believe that you are a terrible person and there's nothing you can do about it. In reality, you aren't bad or good. You are too complex as a person to be reduced down to just bad or good. It's likely just you poor mental health causing you to feel fixate on your bad aspects, but you probably have plenty of good aspects too.

 

[EternalDreams]

It's what makes us human. We really are complex creatures so it really is in the grey area I would say. I've accepted the fact that I have made many wrong or bad decisions in my life but along the way I learned that it's not about your past but how you can learn from there. I apologize it's not the answer that you're looking for but it helps to know that this is our first time living and we're trying our best to get by.

Sending hugs

 

[derpyderpins]

I am negative, awkward, always depressed, jealous, annoying and just boring.

Do you know what a "bad" person is? There are people who hurt others, defraud others, manipulate others, take advantage, etc. Being sad and therefore a little boring doesn't make you "bad." No need to unnecessarily put yourself down, even if all those traits are accurate.

I've been - and still am, to an extent - many of those things. Annoying and negative are two things you can work on. If you can turn this list into "awkward, always depressed, jealous, boring, patient, and positive," you're someone people would be fine being around.

 

[3/4Dead]

Being a buzzkill and being a bad person are totally different things.
I say this from personal experience. We also all have terrible perceptions of ourselves (theyre just always innacurate). I think I'm totally insufferable, but nobody really agrees with me on that front. I'm a compelete fucking buzzkill, I'm the worst to talk to; I cant have a conversation about anything without saying something depressing. It's probably part of my charm or something i dont know man.

Bad people are the guys like Dahmer, Trump, and your uncle who knowingly participates in a pyramid scheme to defraud his close friends and family for personal gain. Totally different.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm probably too forgiving with myself. I blame my selfishness and negativity on repercussions to past experiences in life. But, I know what you mean. I have felt guilty in the past for being too pessimistic around other people. I guess I know at the same time that I can't be bothered to put on an act beyond small talk though so- I just find avoiding people easier now. Not the healthiest option though.

My Dad once told me that people would only be sympathetic hearing about problems so far and then, they'd get bored. I guess he told me that to try and protect me from disappointment and maybe in some bizarre hope that that would make me stop having problems or, stop talking about them. Instead, I thought- yeah, you're probably right. So, I just won't trouble people with them at all.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You're not a bad person for having MH issues.

 

[Scythe]

The fact that you feel guilty for being a "bad" person suggests that you are not. Someone who is a bad person won't care that they are doing bad. The trait you listed also suggest that you are at most unpleasant not a bad person.

But to answer the question in your title, there's so many horrible people in this world, who cares if you're a bad person. It doesn't matter anymore, whether you are good or bad, because either way the world will be bad and it's better to play the system the way it's meant to be played than be a good person. Of course, that doesn't mean you should go out and commit murder, I'd say it's important to have a moral compass even if you are a bad person by society standards.